April 2003 mamas? - Page 2

[H&Hmommy]

Hi everyone. I'm Chrissy and my son Hayden was born April 16, 2003. He is really small for his age-I don't know why and it's really bothering me. He is not eating much at all these past few weeks. He's probably 25 lbs or so. We breastfed for a year.

He is a wildman who loves his sister, (6y/o) trucks and cars and animals. Lately we've been watching the Sound of Music DVD and he loves to replay the songs over & over and dance. He still uses baby signs for some words, and is getting better with his pronunciation, which was poor for awhile, perhaps due to his need for tubes in his ears, which he got last January.

[lisamarie]

Chrissy~

My kids are also on the petite side. My ds, who is 8 yo, was probably the same size (or even smaller) than your ds. He is healthy, but just petite (like us). My dd is almost 22 mo. old and weighs 21 lbs. Her appetite varies and I just try to remind myself that as a toddler, this is normal for her. Some days she eats tons and other days, hardly anything.

Warmly~

Lisa:bf

[Tine]

My ds self-weaned at 19 months exactly, which happened to be Thanksgiving morning. He'd had a really rough night for some unknown reason, and we all wanted to get a little more rest before heading out of town for the day. So I snuggled in bed with him, and we nursed and snoozed for 3 hours. He'd been growing less & less interested in nursing up until then. He never asked (and I never offered) again after that. It seemed like the perfect ending to our nursing relationship.

Alison: I just got an e-mail from Kathleen telling me the same thing--wow! She called it "a true Nova Scotia moment"--meaning that NS is a small world, I guess. But even if it is a tight-knit community up there, I still think your crossing paths was incredibly serendipitous.

[Alison]

Tine, you can take two Nova Scotians, put them together anywhere in the world, and they will figure out that they either know someone in common or are related. Guaranteed!

I like these self weaning stories, some of thema re so nice and gentle. I just don't see us headed that way! I pick Andrew up at daycare, and he says "I snack, I snack now". I say that we need to wait until we get home. the minute we get in the door at home he says "coat off, shoes off, mummy coat off, I snack now". He is a nursaholic!

[Alison]

Originally Posted by H&Hmommy

Hi everyone. I'm Chrissy and my son Hayden was born April 16, 2003. He is really small for his age-I don't know why and it's really bothering me. He is not eating much at all these past few weeks. He's probably 25 lbs or so. We breastfed for a year.

He is a wildman who loves his sister, (6y/o) trucks and cars and animals. Lately we've been watching the Sound of Music DVD and he loves to replay the songs over & over and dance. He still uses baby signs for some words, and is getting better with his pronunciation, which was poor for awhile, perhaps due to his need for tubes in his ears, which he got last January.

Chrissy, Andrew also is small for his age, a little less than your son. He's still breastfeeding, for which I am quite glad, because there are days where he seems to eat nothing! He's been that way for a while now, maybe since Christmas? The daycare folks tell me that he eats lunch there, but at home, most of his dinner ends up on the floor. Every day. Drives DH nuts. But he's healthy, active, and very, very happy. I think that should be more important than what he weighs! Andrew also has tubes in his ears too, since October, but it didn't seem to affect his speech.

Alison

[OneAtHome]

What a nice thread-sounds like a great bunch of kids! I have a dd, born April 2, due April 1...ha..ha. We had a home waterbirth-one of the best experiences of our life. I am so interested in the weaning patterns of everybody. We'd love to have another baby, but just when I think that dd is tapering off, at least at night, almost as soon as I notice, she seems to latch on and nurse for dear life!! Oh well, I guess we'll just have to have faith in the wisdom of natural child spacing. We are about to get chickens, and already have 8 cats, so mostly we spend our days looking after the animals! DD talks all day right up until she closes her eyes (and sometimes even after)!! I think she has the idea of going on the potty, but mostly she is too busy to stop what she is doing and go through the whole rigamarole of it!! Anyway, she makes me want to have 10 babies, just for the wonder of this particular age. Also a nice development is that she and her Dad are really getting along so well now-not that they didn't before, but she is so much of a little person that I think he finds it easier to relate to her now.

[sprout 1]

it's nice to find some people at the (relatively) same stage as us! ds was born 4-23-03, about 2 and 1/2 wks. late, he was 12 lbs. and is now 38 lbs. Perfectly healthy, just huge (tall, too) for some reason. Last summer I had to cut nursing back a little because he was eating too much for me to keep up with- it was the best diet ever but not very healthy!! He went a couple days without nursing at about 19 months, but when he remembered, he never wanted to stop! He says "Coat off!" when we get home too, Alison! For some reason, he calls nursing "num-num's" but is starting to call it "milk". He is also starting to make his dolls and stuffed animals nurse. I'm trying to cut him back a little again because it's getting really frustrating to have him pulling on me whenever I sit down, and when I'm standing too! I'd like to just be able to sit with him and read without him spinning around and wanting to nurse every 10 mins. I feel like we're moving to a new developmental stage and I want to have a relationship where we can be together without him constantly wanting milk.
On another subject! He is really starting to love daddy time! It's so great to watch them together. He's recently started going to bed with dad so that I can get my own stuff done and have some personal time, and tonight (when he was done nursing) he gave me a hug and kiss, then ran to the foot of the stairs and said "night night, Amy. Come, Daddy" (for some reason he always calls me amy, but "bradley" must be too hard so he uses daddy- his choice!) dh and i were both shocked, as he's never really liked going to bed without me!
getting so old...
we're thinking about ttc another this fall!

[Tine]

Though I'm generally happy that my Tony self-weaned when he did (and how he did), there are times I wish he was still nursing. Now that he's entered the tantrum stage, I wish I had a reliable tool to help him feel better when he's out of control. Also, when he was nursing, he had better protection from all the colds and flus going around. A horrible stomach bug raged through my entire family during the 2003-04 winter holidays; it felled everyone in sight except Tony, presumably because he got my antibodies. I feel as if he's more vulnerable now.

[surf mama]

Tine- I also miss things about nursing my dd. She weaned at 19 mo and then got strep throat and 2 ear infections at 21mo! Most of all I miss the way nursing would get her to sleep so fast. Now we sing, read, rock and walk around with her...not as easy as nursing in the recliner. Oh well.

morgansmom-it's nice to hear about a toddler who is big and healthy. My dd isn't tall but she is 27 lbs and has a belly and chubby cheeks. My dr says she is just right and she eats so healthy.

[Tine]

Originally Posted by surf mama

Tine- I also miss things about nursing my dd. She weaned at 19 mo and then got strep throat and 2 ear infections at 21mo! Most of all I miss the way nursing would get her to sleep so fast. Now we sing, read, rock and walk around with her...not as easy as nursing in the recliner. Oh well.

morgansmom-it's nice to hear about a toddler who is big and healthy. My dd isn't tall but she is 27 lbs and has a belly and chubby cheeks. My dr says she is just right and she eats so healthy.

surf mama: Have you tried putting your dd to bed awake? Just asking b/c I thought my ds would NEVER go to sleep w/o nursing to sleep. He LOVED to snooze at the breast. But about a month before he weaned, we started trying the awake-to-bed thing and he took to it right away. We were amazed.

surf mama and morgansmom: Ditto. My ds is at the 50th percentile for height and the 75th for weight (about 29 lbs.). He's chunky all over (especially his enormous cheeks and Buddha belly), but I've decided that it's just his body type! He is CONSTANTLY running and climbing and dancing, and we eat a no-junk vegetarian diet. So it's certainly not his lifestyle.

[konamama]

we nurse to sleep as well - which I am fine with, I can see why she is into it (and she is WAY into it - plus it is still her main calory intake - she does eat but not big amounts). I figure I'll nurse 'till 3ish - her amount decreases more and more evey month - and I figure that when she weans is when we won't nurse to sleep anymore.

I think that kids all have different body types - as long as they are growing consistantly then there is nothing to worry about. my babe was way above her age group until she hit one (born at 10.2, 23 inches) and then leveled out - she is 22 months now, a bit over 30 pounds and 34 inches - a lot is genetics as well and how can a chart take all the variables into account - my mom was a 10 pounder, I was a 10 punder and now I am 5-4 and weigh 106 pounds. my husband on the other hand was a 7lb baby but is 6-8 now and wieghs 200lbs. as long as they are healthy, happy and growing I figure it's all good.

2 questions:
* any mamas here with older kids? my little one is super smart, communicates great and understands everything but uses few words - any inwight, experience, etc. with this type of situation? I'm not all that concerned at this point, figure she'll talk more when she is ready - just wondering what others experiences have been.
* are there any mamas here that this is their first and possible their only by choice? we are strongly concidering that option - we have already raised my 16 year old borhter (for the past 10 years) and there are all the logical reasons, but when it comes down to it it just feels right - when lily wanted to come to us I felt/heard her, it was strong, we felt incomplete - I don't feel now like anything is missing, etc. if we were to have a 2nd I would aim for getting pregnant this fall, they would then be about 3 years apart, but if that window doesn't feel right and passes us by we will go the permanent route of birth control (him, not me) and move forward from this "baby phase"...
just seeing if there were any other singlets out there :-))

nice connecting with you all, interesting to see where other april babes are in their development and other mamas are as well :-))!!!

[surf mama]

Tine- how did you do the awake to sleep thing? Do you lay with him, do you wait until he is really sleepy? I'm open to trying new things. It hasn't worked when I've laid down with her and she doesn't like being alone in a room but she surprises me sometimes by doing things I don't expect...like weaning.

konamama-from what I know they say that if a toddler understands a lot and can communicate wants and needs then you don't need to worry yet if their vocabulary is small. Seems like she is just on her own schedule and will probably surprise you one day soon. They say by age 5 most kids level out and you can't tell who did what earlier or later.

[Tine]

konamama: Every day I wonder whether we should have another baby. We've actually started TTC#2, but I'll confess I'm ambivalent. One day I really reallly want another child for umpteen reasons, and the next I'm overwhelmed at the thought, for umpteen different reasons. I guess in the end I can't imagine being sorry about having another, but I can imagine being sorry we didn't even try. Time is of the essence for us, so that's why we're not waiting around for absolute certainty. It took 2 yrs., 2 surgeries, 1 mc, zillions of tests, and lots of medical help to get our ds. I'm 36 and dh is 49, so we're no spring chickens!

surf mama: I'll give you all the boring details b/c I know sometimes the devil is in the details. Hopefully you'll find a useful idea or two here. When ds was still nursing to sleep, it was the last step in a bedtime routine that we always did the same way (bath, lotion, PJs, brush teeth, read books, say good-night to each room and person in the house, then nurse). We kept the rest of the routine to help ds get his brain and body in sleepy mode, but simply dropped the nursing. Instead, we held him at his bedside, said "time for night-night" gave him hugs and kisses, put him in bed with a few favorite stuffed animals, covered him up w/ his blanket, and walked out saying "night-night, love you, see you in the morning." We still do it exactly this way. At first he would sometimes call for me or dh, or cry a little (5 min. or less), but more often he'd talk to himself or just zonk out. I know the routine really helped. Also, he loves snuggling with his "friends" (animals), so I think he looked forward to that. I think another thing he looks forward to is gazing at the glow-in-the-dark stars and moon we stuck on the ceiling over his bed. He gets a big kick out of switching off his bedroom light and seeing the stars and moon come "on".

[sprout 1]

Rrrrgh, I just got back from the store with ds & my mother, and I'm !!!
ds did not want to sit in the cart, so I told him he could walk but he had to stay by me. That lasted for a little while, then he wanted to run away squealing and play hide-and-seek. My mom offered to take him walking outside, but she just had rotator-cuff surgery so I said we should just go. On the way home, my mom took the opportunity to say that "other" people spank their kids and other people's kids "behave" in the store, and Morgan needs to learn that he's not "running the show"
I'm just so frustrated. Maybe I should go to the gd forum, but I wanted some age-appropriate insight. Sometimes it's really hard to take ds places, sometimes he does great. When he doesn't do well, I warn him and then we leave if he's still not listening. He is SO huge and SO thrashy that it's nearly impossible to pick him up and go, plus he's started this ear-piercing blood-curdling scream when he's in one of those moods and doesn't get his way.
I used to work in Montessori, both with 3-6 yr. olds and 14mo.- 3 yr. olds and I never remember having this much trouble with limit-setting and limit-pushing (well, maybe a little with the 3 yr. olds).
I got this picture of me having a little baby in a sling and trying to wrestle this 50 lb. 3 yr-old... not pretty.
Today I'm feeling like I have a one baby limit...
Maybe he'll grow out of it. How do your april babies do in public? Any suggestions?

[Tine]

Stores are the diciest outings for my ds. He'll stay in the cart for a little while, but once he wants out, it's tantrum-o-rama. We don't let him out (unless there are 2 adults along so 1 can chase ds around--he's a big hider, too) and the other can shop. We make our shopping trips as quick as possible. You deserve congrats for not ripping your mom's head off--I probably would have said something really snarky (and regretted it later, of course).

[konamama]

my dd is a pretty reasonable kid most often, but we all need a few store tricks - she also doesnt' like the cart all that much, so she "pushes" the cart from behind and I stear from the front which she loves and then when that gets old we go towards the dried fruit zone, pick out a package that she wants and then she wants to sit in the cart and eat her treat - I find that works the best. Plus also staying real calm, if I get worked up so does as well, in all situations, not just in stores.
and sorry to hear that your mom made it worse by giving "her advice/opinion" - that is always a bummer - I feel lucky that my mom agrees with my parenting style and the things she doesn't she is wise enough to keep her mouth shut b/c I wouldn't take it :-))
I don't do Costco alone though, that is a 2-parent job for sure :-)

Tine - I hear you, our situation is a bit different since conceiving wasn't ahrd for us nad it's interesting you use that analogy about regret, etc. I use the same analogy but the other way - I would rather regret not having a 2nd than being overwhelmed and not having as much fun with 2 as I do with 1 - plus I try regretting things anyhow, so I think it comes down to listening to your heart and the answer will come...hope it works out for you!

[sprout 1]

Oh, did I forget to include what I said to my mom about spanking, and where those "people who hit their toddlers because they don't want to do something that shouldn't really be expected of them anyway" should go?
yes, I might have said some thing(s) I shouldn't have
I've really noticed that ds FEEDS off my energy and the atmosphere like you wouldn't believe. For some reason I never let him eat the food in grocery stores until we checkout, but I'm going to abandon that rule!!! As long as they can still scan it!

[surf mama]

When I read the stories about stores I was relieved that we didn't have that problem and told dh how lucky we were AND guess what happened at the store today???? oh yeah it was a fun time! She wanted to hold things only to decide a minute later to drop it and then OF COURSE she wanted it back to start the whole cycle again. The second store was a quiet little health food store so she could walk with me and that went much better.

morgansmom- sorry about the conflict with your mom. My mom doesn't agree with my choices either. She's worried that we're spoiling dd. It is easier to take other people's comments but family comments are the toughest.

[Alison]

I'm laughing at your grocery store stories! DS is the same way--with me. So now DH does the groceries with DS, and they have a blast! I think that our babies know that they can manipulate us. No, that didn't sound right. It's not a conscious thing, I don't think. It's just that we're so emotionally involved with them that we don't have enough distance to cope as well as their fathers might. it's like Morgansmom says, they feed off our energy. I must say, I don't miss doing groceries! Ds and I do other things instead.

As for child spacing. I want two, we were always supposed to have two. but after Ds (who STILL isn't a good sleeper, fights going to sleep, and then wakes up to climb in with us and then gets up before dawn!), DH decided we only want one. Recently, I think, he's coming back to the idea of having two, but any time DS acts up, I get "and you think you're ready for another one of these???". Well, no, I'm not ready, I don't want another right this very minute, I'm thinking more a year or two or even three from now. But I'm already 33, and I really don't want to put it off for too long!

Konamama, my DS is a big talker, never stops, but I have a girlfriend with a little guy born Feb 03, so pretty close in age to ours, and he doesn't talk. I mean, he has very few partial words--"duh" for truck and "dee" for soothie, and mama and dada. He understands a lot, but doesn't say much! In her case though, he also doesn't eat. It's as if he doesn't get the idea of "food goes in mouth". If my child found food on the floor, he'd stick it in his mouth so fast! Her little guy just brings it to her and offers it up. He doesn't put anything in his mouth. Anyway, they are having a developmental assessment done soon, but it's not just because of the speech delay. She was told that the speech delay alone, especially in a third child who clearly understands a lot of what he hears, wouldn't be cause for worry. It's the combination of not eating and not talking that has the doctors concerned.

Alison

[surf mama]

My dd is also not much of a sleeper especially when teething. Alison, my dh also thinks about not having more when dd isn't sleeping well at night. However I am VERY ready to conceive another so we'll see. If I am pg this cycle otherwise we agreed to wait awhile.

It's fun to read about our kids going thru similar things and giving us similar challenges.