My mother is driving me nuts! - Page 2

[edamommy]

I hear you! My son is almost 2 and my mother also makes those same comments. Saying ... oh your too big of a boy for that. That's for babies, not toddlers. ewwww why don'tyou just get him a glass of milk of something. on and on.

my son will now look right at her and say "mmmmmmmm goood" and laugh. HAHA

[Amasmama]

Ironically since my first post the comments about BF have all most stopped completely...I went over to her house about a week ago and she started in as I was walking into the bathroom...not typical by the way...so she was actually talking to my 22 month old dd...I heard her and in a really firm voice I said to her...I asked you not to make comments about my parenting choices especially to my children. She immediately stopped. I've been over twice since and have nursed and there have been no comments...no eyeball rolling...It's puzzling to me but i'm glad it's stopped...for now anyway...but yes...this has been going on for years...I've mothered my mother for years...now I'm bringing it to her attention...not to hurt her but maybe to help her so she can help herself...I can't change her, but I can change my reation to how treats me...I have a choice...get stuck in the disfunction or stop enabling...I'm not perfect myself but hey...I just want to be treated kindly and respectfully...that's all...I still love my mom...love is love...disfunctionate or not...but it doesn't have to allow the continuation of the cycle to be expressed...in other words...I feel like my firmness with my mom about expecting respect benefits me and my kids of course, but my mom too...does that make any sense?

[Amasmama]

Originally Posted by edamommy

I hear you! My son is almost 2 and my mother also makes those same comments. Saying ... oh your too big of a boy for that. That's for babies, not toddlers. ewwww why don'tyou just get him a glass of milk of something. on and on.

my son will now look right at her and say "mmmmmmmm goood" and laugh. HAHA

It's funny you mention that...one day my mom asked me while I was nursing..."you still have milk?" DD nodded her head...still nursing of course...then mom asked her "is it good?" and she cracked up laughing...nodding her little head...it was so precious...I love my little nursling!

[Flor]

My dad was really anti-bf when ds was born. He'd say "yucky" and "he wants a real bottle" and if I was having trouble "maybe he doesn't like that milk" etc. My mom did not bf us but is supportive, she knows the newer research. She would point out stories on tv and the newspaper about bf. Ds has a super immune system and my mom bragged that up too. Now, at 18 months, my dad is pro-breastfeeding. He braggs to his coworkers about how ds is never sick, and about how he has never used a bottle. He actaully said, "companies just push baby formula so they can sell you processed junk when the kids are older." I'm so proud of him. I think my mom used a gentle approach and found resources liek the american academy of pediatrics, etc who don't seem to far out there. I know that the USA Today Weekend newspaper supplemental just had a story on 15 things to make your baby healthy or something and it said Breast feeding increase survival in the first year by 20%! Give your mom something to brag about.

Here:
http://www.usaweekend.com/05_issues/...0109cover.html

[momma2mingbu]

AAP policy

Here's a link to the brand NEW AAP policy - http://aappolicy.aappublications.org...rics;115/2/496 - which states under recommendation #10.....

There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.

[Will's Mommy]

I Feel Your Pain

I am having the same problem but with my mother-in-law. My ds is 14 months old and she thinks he is too old to be nursing. She even went so far as to tell my dh that we should not visit her until he is weaned (she lives in St. Louis). Initially I was furious but now I just don't care. I mark it up as ignorance on her part. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

[KellyandKatie]

I understand

T can realte to what you are saying about your mothers, while my mom has been fine with me Bfing ( i think, I live in Hawaii, she lives in Wisconsin...) there are other issues that we have played out like this one.
I understand how hard it is. The thing that really bothers me about this is that she is talking to your DD. I know how high I hold my grandparents in esteem, I know as a child that if I thought I was doing anything my grandparenst disapproved of I would have been really hurt. Same thing with cloth diapers, or any of your prenting choices, if she has something to say about it- and you wnat to listen - I really think it shoudl not be in front of your DD. I think it would really confuse me as a child. Maybe try this, tell her that you are the mom, and you are 'stuck' with all the 'hard' parenting stuff, and she 'gets' to be grandma and tell her how cool being a grandma is and remind her what sort of responsibiliy comes with that power. That way, you are not attacking her, but asking her to be a part of DD life in the appreate role. Good luck!

[Amasmama]

Thank you to everyone...

I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded to my post...all of the advice I've received has helped tremendously...I feel much lighter knowing I'm not alone and that there are constructive ways of changing the situation...I really appreciate all of your insights...thanks.