should I have a doula?

[odenata]

So, I've been thinking about this a lot this week. I'm due in May with my first, and am planning a homebirth. Right now, my dh, my mom, my mw and her asst will all be there. I also have a friend who is a doula, and am trying to decide if I want her there. Originally, I thought it would be great to have someone with training to be there during 1st stage labor with me before my mw shows up, but lately I've been feeling more ambivalent about it. I also am having issues with this particular friendship and wonder whether she is the best person to be there.

I could find another doula, but I'm starting to wonder if I really need it. My dh and I are taking hb classes right now, and I feel pretty confident and relaxed about it.

What do people think?

[thismama]

I say YES! And hire someone, don't use your friend if you feel at all unsure about it.

I had a doula and I would never do without one knowing what I know now. My labour was long, adn the doula talked to me in the tub for 2 hours in the middle of the night so my baby's father could rest 14 hours into the more intense part of labour (and 16 hours before babe was born!) I also needed lots of counterpressure - the midwife and my doula would press on one hip with all their strength, my baby's daddy on the other. She also helped me breathe when I was 9 cms dilated and had an overwhelming urge to push, because they were worried I would swell my cervical lip.

I would get a doula again in a heartbeat, and recommend one to any woman labouring at home or in hospital. They are priceless.

[mamaley]

i am all for doulas, but that said, my gut reaction was to not have one and i went with it. all we had was dh and my midwife, and i still didn't want one. it turns out that i labored so fast, and that dh was really all i needed. it wouldn't have hurt to have one....but i guess the moral of the story is to listen to your instincts, as always

[Earthy Birthy]

I would say that it depends on what kind of support your mw and her asst will provide. For our clients, a doula would be redundant because we basically do all that a doula would do, plus the midwifery stuff. And definitely listen to your heart about having your friend present. If you are having any kind of issues w/ her, your labor could be hindered due to the tension.

HTH! Have a wonderful birth!

[Meli65]

I wondered about this, too. We had a doula (who I lo-o-o-o-oved) at our birth center birth with ds, but are planning a home birth this time (and are in a different state, anyway). Both lay midwives I spoke to said that most of their clients do NOT hire a doula -- it seems that in these parts doulas are seen mostly as parental advocates for hospital births (much needed, unfortunately). It doesn't look like we are going to hire a doula -- if we do need to go to the hospital for any reason, our midwife will serve as a doula there.

[mandib50]

me personally i wouldn't have a doula at a homebirth but that's me. that being said, i did have close friends with me who were extremely supportive and very helpful during labor (and mine were long) but i think if you feel you have enough support and are comfortable with doing it without a doula - go for it! your midwife will provide the support you need.

mandi

[doulaPA]

good question!!! Depends on your mom, what her role will be. most other family mambers are there for their own reasons, want to see their grandchild be born, have an experience, etc. also, does your mom handle stress well? if mom can just support you and encourage you when you need it then you prob don't need your doula friend and mom and mw can serve as emotional support.

[odenata]

Fortunately, my mom is fantastic!

She's really good at remaining calm through anything and giving lots of support. (To give you an idea, when my brother and sister were in a car accident in high school and taken to the ER, they were short-handed, and my mom remained calm and helped them treat my brother, who had a collapsed lung.)

She's also totally supportive of home birth (having had me at home) and is reading The Birth Partner to learn what we've been doing in our childbirth classes and so she'll know how to help dh with hip sqeezes, squatting holds, etc.

So I guess I really feel comfortable with her and dh being my emotional support. Thanks for everyone's input!