it sounds like an unfortunate male injury, but i can't think of a succinct way to describe what i'm feeling.
my feelings re: the clw forum are public knowledge here, & i think we eventually settled on a less vigorous application of the term than was originally applied (i feel welcome to post there, everyone has been sweet, but yet, but yet... i did wean my dd. at 7, but it was my decision. and with my 2 & 4 yr old- i don't know. argh!)
then popping in to bunnysma's (hey! yo, lady! how's it goin'?) thread, well, i feel weird there too- without denigrating what the thread there is about, or any of the participating ladies, i can't imagine weaning a small toddler, it is beyond my comprehension (NOT not knowing what it's like to have my flesh crawl while nursing pg, or wanting my twiddly child to suffer a temporary paralysis of the hand; i know these feelings well, but can't imagine them as anything other than temporary obstacles, nothing to wean over.)
so what's a mama to do? i feel like less 'together' somehow, like because i am neither firm in my decision to wean, or philosophically adamant that mine is not the deciding vote, i am in this in-between-world of wishywashiness. however, i suspect there are more here like me than are immediately apparent, for want of catagorization.
i did nightwean my kids to get some badly needed sleep- the family bed was difficult for me. yet, the kids don't need to be dehydrating to death from diarrhea for me to say 'sure, come sleep with me and pop one open.' it can just be a bad dream or a lonely spell. it seems like from one perspective, i am a horrible beeyotch for putting them to bed in another room without the all-night tap, but from another, i am neglectfully weak in my decison-making. my dd may have nursed till 7, but i am not esp proud of myself for having nursed longer than we were both comfortable with- in retrospect, i think my dd was waiting for ME to say 'no'. she weaned instantly and with no trauma, & other than laziness (and, of course, wanting it to be her decision- i've been reading mothering a LONG time
), i can't really remember why i didn't say at 5 or 6- 'hey, i'm not loving this anymore- you done?'
i am happy nursing my 4 yr old, & have no particular desire to cut him off from the 2 or so nursings he enjoys a day now, but if i don't feel like it's a great idea at some point, i will, gently, say, 'please. let's talk.'
so. are there really more mamas feeling this way out there- deeply commited to nursing, and needing an act of god to put an (in the child's eyes) early stop to it, but not commited to strict clw? sigh, i have tried to be inoffensive in my descriptions of the two opposing styles- i greatly respect both camps & love ya both, & if any hint of an injustly-phrased depiction of your philosophy gets your goat, could you please address it clarifyingly elsewhere, if necessary? i have far to go in perfecting my communication and there are no insults intended here, passive-aggressive or overt.
i really just want to see if there are any other mamas out there who don't feel like they belong in either place. for all the nice welcome vibes i've seen & felt in both places, both abruptly weaning an 18 month old AND nursing until someone else gives me permission to stop (extreme ends of the spectrum, of course- lol, don't you love a place where weaning at 18 months is considered extreme?) are not... me. i'm just taking it as it comes. ykwim? (i prefer to think of it as a 'mellow, laid back' weaning style instead of 'wishy-washy', but don't want to paint my other sisters by omission as 'uptight'.
)
suse (hoping i phrased this carefully enough that no one gets pissed off!)
my feelings re: the clw forum are public knowledge here, & i think we eventually settled on a less vigorous application of the term than was originally applied (i feel welcome to post there, everyone has been sweet, but yet, but yet... i did wean my dd. at 7, but it was my decision. and with my 2 & 4 yr old- i don't know. argh!)
then popping in to bunnysma's (hey! yo, lady! how's it goin'?) thread, well, i feel weird there too- without denigrating what the thread there is about, or any of the participating ladies, i can't imagine weaning a small toddler, it is beyond my comprehension (NOT not knowing what it's like to have my flesh crawl while nursing pg, or wanting my twiddly child to suffer a temporary paralysis of the hand; i know these feelings well, but can't imagine them as anything other than temporary obstacles, nothing to wean over.)
so what's a mama to do? i feel like less 'together' somehow, like because i am neither firm in my decision to wean, or philosophically adamant that mine is not the deciding vote, i am in this in-between-world of wishywashiness. however, i suspect there are more here like me than are immediately apparent, for want of catagorization.
i did nightwean my kids to get some badly needed sleep- the family bed was difficult for me. yet, the kids don't need to be dehydrating to death from diarrhea for me to say 'sure, come sleep with me and pop one open.' it can just be a bad dream or a lonely spell. it seems like from one perspective, i am a horrible beeyotch for putting them to bed in another room without the all-night tap, but from another, i am neglectfully weak in my decison-making. my dd may have nursed till 7, but i am not esp proud of myself for having nursed longer than we were both comfortable with- in retrospect, i think my dd was waiting for ME to say 'no'. she weaned instantly and with no trauma, & other than laziness (and, of course, wanting it to be her decision- i've been reading mothering a LONG time
), i can't really remember why i didn't say at 5 or 6- 'hey, i'm not loving this anymore- you done?'i am happy nursing my 4 yr old, & have no particular desire to cut him off from the 2 or so nursings he enjoys a day now, but if i don't feel like it's a great idea at some point, i will, gently, say, 'please. let's talk.'
so. are there really more mamas feeling this way out there- deeply commited to nursing, and needing an act of god to put an (in the child's eyes) early stop to it, but not commited to strict clw? sigh, i have tried to be inoffensive in my descriptions of the two opposing styles- i greatly respect both camps & love ya both, & if any hint of an injustly-phrased depiction of your philosophy gets your goat, could you please address it clarifyingly elsewhere, if necessary? i have far to go in perfecting my communication and there are no insults intended here, passive-aggressive or overt.
i really just want to see if there are any other mamas out there who don't feel like they belong in either place. for all the nice welcome vibes i've seen & felt in both places, both abruptly weaning an 18 month old AND nursing until someone else gives me permission to stop (extreme ends of the spectrum, of course- lol, don't you love a place where weaning at 18 months is considered extreme?) are not... me. i'm just taking it as it comes. ykwim? (i prefer to think of it as a 'mellow, laid back' weaning style instead of 'wishy-washy', but don't want to paint my other sisters by omission as 'uptight'.
)suse (hoping i phrased this carefully enough that no one gets pissed off!)
) i guess it was necessity, part of the growth of the boards... but it feels downright odd, in a way, to have to form a support group for essentially what many folks have been doing all along!
