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~Jan '05 ~Babylicious babes~ Feb thread

post #1 of 198
Thread Starter 
OK mamas.... we're officially moved. We are no longer "due" in January, but we're living our lives with our babes (not that any of us can forget that for a moment!).

I was thinking (yeah, my brain is somewhat functioning) that we could do a monthly, or bimonthly thread, since we're not posting as much as the end of our pregnancies- so for this thread wrote Feb- though that's only 1 week.... we can figure it out as we go along.

In our neck of the woods, Luka caught a little cold and is congested mainly at night- so you can imagine that we had a crappy night last night. We were up at 2:30, bouncing on the ball. fun.

Not much to write right now....
post #2 of 198
Not much to write either. I'm loving the name!! Babylicious - whoo hoo!!

Hope little Luka is feeling better.

Pam - if you're reading this. Thank you for sharing about your homebirth. There is no wrong or right way to feel, yk? Its important for You to process your birth too, even though nothing horrid happened - its important for Everyone to process their birth no matter what happened!!! I'm glad you got it out there, mama. You have tons of support over here and I hope you find some peace .
post #3 of 198
Just wanted to add - I'm sooo sad to leave our forum . Its like another chapter of our lives has been sealed away.

I hope we can all continue to stay close throughout our baby journey
post #4 of 198
Thread Starter 
Pam,

We tend to put such a big emphasis on our births- esp on being calm, cool, relaxed, so I understand why you're upset over Geneva's birth. Birth is hard- even the 2nd one- screaming, and being "out of control" is OK, imo.
I guess there are no real words of wisdom, because your experience and feelings about it are your own, but remember the parts of your birth that you are happy with - ESP the fact that you were able to follow your instincts so well..... I feel like that's what's missing for most moms- a huge "achievement" in our disconnected world.
Anyhow, If writing your disappointment out like that works for you, then go for it..... we're here to listen!!!
post #5 of 198
Thanks so much! I knew I could find the validation I was needing. Just having it out there helps. I think my dream last night was about my desire to birth my baby over, and do it better, but we all know you can't give birth to the same baby twice!

Still trying to catch a smile on camera. I think we've seen some at 3 and then 4 weeks, I swear they aren't gas!
post #6 of 198
Pam I didn't read your birth story. I haven't read any since Elizabeth was born (2 wks today) since I am still processing mine. But I can understand screaming and being out of control. Our birth was way to fast for me, I can understand how girls once thought they were being ripped in half after that. I'm just offering some I'm sure you'll feel better about what happened. I try to process a tiny bit more everyday and talk now and again with dh about it. Birth can be scarey and I think all women need to allow themselves to feel frightened and know that it is alright sometimes.

We we went to a b-day party for one of ds friends today and that went very well. THe little girls mum also had an 8 mth old and she came over and talked to me becuase she is still alomst exclusivly breastfeeding him. I thought that was really cool. I've never talked to anyone who is not family irl who breastfed for more than a few months and even my aunts who b-fed for over 6 mths supplemented with formula. So that boosted my confindence up. The party was at a rooler rink and the baby loved listening to all the sounds and looking at the lights. By the time we left she was totally limp in a super deep sleep.

Speaking of sleep. We've been able to get her to sleep for up to an hour at a wack in the bassentte now Its great being able to eat breakfast and take a shower plus go on the computer some without haveing to lug her around with me, or be on alert listening for her on the futon.

Oh we went out and got a second hand swing today. So far it seems like she likes it. We'll know by the end of the week....
post #7 of 198
oh I can't remember who was talking about the cord stump, but we did nothing at all but Elizabeth's fell off at 5 days and looked gucky and bled a little for 3-4 days after that but has been clean looking since.

anyone have any advice for peeling skin?
post #8 of 198
Az, you just have to wait out the peeling skin thing. It was not what I expected, my little baked babe looked like a chameleon some days, but it stops soon enough. Try less baths, I think we only washed her once a week and only water no soap on those hands and ankles that are really peeling! I think Lauren had really bad dandruff for the first 2 weeks, and the hands were done peeling a little after that too, and the feet took a little longer.

Ugh dh's annoying obsessive aunt came over to visit. She got really angry with us when we didn't call her back the first time she called to visit (when we had been home 2 days from hospital!) and told everyone in dh's family that we weren't adjusting well and that they should all leave us alone for at least 3 weeks. Well it's been exactly 3 weeks since we called her back and said we weren't ready for visitors that day, so I guess she took her own advice.

My parents dropped in this morning too, they went on my trip to IKEA without me, but brought back some sheepskins for Lauren to sleep on, I guess they are waterproof and warm?? The ec people told me about them, guess I should do some follow up and see.

So jealous of babes who sleep out of arms, mine only sleeps in arms or if I nurse her down and sneak away from the bed. ROFL dh just walked out of baby's room wearing her in the kkafp, except it's WAY too small for him and so it's bunched up under his armpit and around his neck and she's sitting sideways with her feet hanging out under his arm. LOL. I guess I need to show him how to use the maya.

Lisa
post #9 of 198
Hello new thread! This does seem more public. Our babies are much more public now than when they were hidden inside. I don't mind moving on. I haven't missed being pregnant at all. I love looking down at my flat belly in the postpartum brace. (It is not so pretty outside of the brace.) How long before our navels start to look like bellybuttons again instead of a dark sinkhole?

Sounds like birth was rough for a lot of us. I thought it would be beautiful and spiritual, and parts of labor were, but at the end it was all about getting her out. 'Course all the bright lights and strangers in masks killed the atmosphere. Yesterday a friend came over with her family and I told them about the whole thing. She was the one who told me about home birth in the first place, and the reason I tried for one. It was quite therapeutic to share with her. Also, Friday, my husband read Evelyn and me the poem that he read to me over and over during pregnancy for relaxation practice. ("Hiawatha's Childhood.") He read it once during labor to me, and it did help. Somehow him reading that to the two of us brought some closure. There's a part about a firefly, and we sing it to Evelyn when she's blinking on and off.

Peely hands and feet - we have those. MW says to rub olive oil on her. It is not bothering me much. We've only bathed her in water and herbs. Today she exhibits some baby acne. I might wash her face with a little soap in the bath tonight.

Lisa, I am sooo impressed with you for doing the EC thing. That sounded like a great idea while I was pregnant. Now that I see all the wet and poopy diapers, I don't know how you do it. We can't even get her figured out enough to avoid the poop squirting all over everywhere during diaper changes. She's really good at filling the clean diapers before we even get her buttoned up, especially if it's an unusually pretty diaper. As soon as I say to Eric, "This is a hyena dipe," she fires up the poop cannon.

Thanks for the advice on the cord stump. We put some goldenseal on the fresh navel and it's looking good today, just a bit of crusty stuff in the bottom. I like it.

Pam, you birthed your baby great! Nothing wrong with being loud. Nothing wrong with being disappointed, either. Did you have really high expectations for the home birth? It was a great acheivement exactly as it was.

Monthly thread sounds like a good idea. End of pregnancy, nothing was more interesting than this board. Now we all have sweet babes to stare at, and to sit on our laps and make it hard to type.
This board has been one of the best parts of the pregnancy and birth. I love you guys. (sniff)
post #10 of 198
Jessi, once we got into the timing of things, ec was REALLY easier than I thought. Some days I feel totally overwhelmed (oh do I have to go hold her over the sink AGAIN kind of days) but we somehow got into the "poo and pee, then eat, then sleep for an hour, repeat" cycle. Of course I've been so nasty sick for 8 days now, and I totally gave up on even getting off the couch some days, or even sitting up to use a bowl or the little potty or anything. So she's "normal" baby, pooing during every meal, peeing whenever, although we did try really hard today to get back on track and dh and I caught a few pees and one poo, I think a few more days and we'll be back where we were.

FWIW, you can start anytime, especially if you want to wait until 6-8 weeks when poo at night and during every meal stops, I can't wait for those days!

Now if only I knew how to put her down for a nap w/o nursing her to sleep. She gets SO cranky tired and I nurse her down and she wakes within minutes so I know better than to sneak out of bed right away, and then once I finally think she's good to go, like NOW, she wakes back up! I'm oh so nearly ready to pop a paci in that perfect little mouth.

Gotta go,
Lisa
post #11 of 198
Also with ec, if you find that your babe is pooping or peeing as soon as you change her, why not simply hold her over a bowl at each change?
We;ve had a lot of success with ec this weekend, though it's hard to do when i'm home alone with the kids, however, seeing her baby sis go potty has helped dd1 along (we did partial ec with her).

Thanks again everyone for helping validate my feelings about birth
post #12 of 198
Thread Starter 
Re: birth. Birth IS spiritual and beautiful, but they don't call it labor for nothing! In the majority of cases, you have to work hard. that's the bottom line. Call it pain, intensity, whatever, but you gotta work- even if you have no interference, don't push, etc....
We also have thing ideal of how the laboring mom should be- and we want ourselves to be that mom (she is calm and serene and takes each contraction at a time- barely has to push her baby out.... any number of ideals)... it's hard to live up to those because birth/labor is so unpredictable. Look at me.... I had an easy (IMO) 2nd birth- pushed my baby out in 15 minutes, etc.... this time I worked my ass off comparitively. I whined and whined about it too. I heard myself whining and was bummed I was doing so, but I couldn't really stop and so I just allowed myself to do it.
Anyhow, don't know where this rant was/is going, but it just came out.

Lisa- for me to get my baby to sleep on his own... I have to bounce him on the ball for awhile, then we rock in the chair til he's really out, then we go to the bed and he lies on me for awhile there and not until then will he sleep for longer than 15 minutes in the bed. But that whole process takes a long time- sometimes like an hour! But then he might sleep for another hour or more, so it's worth it to me.
So far, Luka doesn't nurse to sleep very often. He's a fast nurser- maybe 5 minutes, so that's not really long enough to get him asleep well.... so we spend a lot of time on the ball bouncing or in the rocker. If he stays like this I'll be happy in the long run (i.e. others could put him to bed), but now it's kinda hard. But then with a little one, everything is hard!

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who's all emotional about these boards, the support at the end of our pregnancies, etc.... I guess I've been a little isolated at home and irritated with some of my friends and you all have just given hugs and support.

One of my closer gfs came over yesterday. She's only been here 2 times since baby was born. she has her own issues and was just projecting all kinds of stuff on me... Luka was getting his cold and fussing and she was suggesting he was fussy because our other friend held him for 2 minutes while I transfered the wash into the dryer- like he was mad at me for leaving him.... argh. that really got up my nose for some reason. I DON"T think I need to be the one holding him every minute. but then this is from a mama who's dh never got to hold their nbs.
enough ranting. I'm in a most UN-ergonomic psition with Luka asleep on me!
post #13 of 198
Oooooh the ball... I completely forgot the ball... it's been in the corner of the nursery deflated since we came home from hospital. I wish we had a rocker, or a glider, or something! We have those IKEA chairs (poang?) that are bouncy "s" shaped chairs, but they don't ROCK. Then again we don't have any space for more furniture here either... but it would be nice to rock. I'll have to blow up the ball and see if that helps, I really really fear creating a monster by always nursing her to sleep. I've managed to get her to sleep a few times (very few) in the sling, but usually when I'm out of the house.

So after dh tried to fit his big self into my kkafp, I got out the maya and put it on him. He was thrilled with it - called it the hands free cell phone thing for babies and sang praises about how it didn't hurt his back, blah blah... so he's hooked, and he looks so darn cute wearing a baby. I bought a nice boring green plain maya for him while I was preg, and the neighbor lady bought us the bright rainbow one as a gift when she was born, so now we each have one.

Ugh, I let dh be in charge of dinner, and he made frozen pizza. Guess I learned my lesson!

In a way I miss the old board, yet it's time for us to grow a bit. I'm really enjoying all the discussion on labor, realistic and perceptions, and what we feel. The more I think about it, the more I thought I was content with Lauren's birth, but now as I read and reflect on everything y'all say, I think maybe there are more things to talk about. But first I want to finish the birth story, as I think reflecting on what I've written and editing it to how I really feel may help.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it's cold here, we have freezing rain and cold winds, watch out Andy, it's coming your way!

Lisa
post #14 of 198
Thread Starter 
Lisa, see that's the thing about the internet (or even just talking with people, for that matter). You say you felt content about Lauren's birth but then the discussion is making you question that- it's not to say you shouldn't question her birth but everything is a matter of perspective. What is ok for one person isn't necessarily ok for others. Just because one woman is unhappy that let's say her mw wanted to do vaginal exams does not mean that it's bad for the woman who wanted to have them. Am I making ANY sense? I don't feel like I am, but I just know that sometimes I've felt at peace with my births and then have read something that made me question that- eventhough my feelings were pure to begin with.
oh, and for the record, both of my other kids only fell asleep at the breast or in the car. so Lauren is in good company!
post #15 of 198
It does feel weird over here in Life With a Babe!! I guess it was time to move on and put our babies out into the public

Birth truly is a personal experience and I give kudos to all who are working through the process whether it be positive or negative. I am sending healing vibes to those who need it.

Aine is sleeping alone right now!! I put her down on her side and then rolled her onto her back after a little bit. She has been sleeping soundly for 2 hours. I can't believe it. Previously she woke up whenever I laid her down. I neede to hold or sling her all the time. It was getting tough, since ds needs my attention too!

My mom and grandfather visited today (my poor dad had to work). My mom was Sooooooo much better. She held dd and was really kind and nice to us. She had been a bit of a pain prior to this visit about the whole homebirth. Now it seems like that might be in the past for us (until we have more children at home).

DS nursed to sleep from the start. DD does part of the time. It was never a huge issue with ds. He was able to fall asleep with dh and my parents after he was a bit older. He is 21 months now and falls asleep after stories with me, dh or my parents...

Not much else going on here. I think I may venture out and start walking again tomorrow morning. I told ds and the dog that we will be going for a walk while dd and dh sleep. Here's hoping it happens

Proudmom
post #16 of 198
Aaak - it's 4am (make that 5!) and the world here sleeps, other than the road crews who are ploughing, and ME who fell asleep nursing Ori to sleep at 9:30 and now I'm AWAKE!! Ugh. Oh well, a chance to spend some time here, lurk around the site, and start the new thread (about time!). {note: THEN I found this link, so I xfered over to here - duh!}

On babies who nurse to sleep: it is too early to get worked up about this at this stage. At about 3-4 months (like about 2 months from now - one month for babies Violet's age), we can revisit this, but ALL the EVERYBODY say that newborns NEED to nurse a lot, and I know for me we nurse the LONGEST when drifting off to sleep. I often get two let downs when he's doing this, because he'll startle awake just as I think of latching off and then re-stim. the breast. SO - don't sweat it. I fear the evil boobiebedtimemonster too, but there's no need to stress about it now. Nothing we do now is set in babystone and it can be adjusted (or completely tweaked) when our babies are just a little older and able to sleep for longer than 3 hrs. at a stretch without feeding.

We had a nice dinner party - three little girlies and two other mommies and us. Very mellow but a nice way to get back on track (or start) with a more 'normal' existence. It's just another baby step back into the world of reality from the babymoon - but it's been a month now (truly, not just four weeks, but his one month birthday was yesterday) and time to get back on the wagon. This is my last week of no brownies (girl scouts), and I have to get that going again too. Lots of planning for 11 little girls who have lots of crafty expectations (think glitter glue).

I am SO ready to get this weight off now - and I seem to actually be adding to it, not subtracting, regardless of how often Ori nurses (bummer). My gym will start to look after him at 6 weeks, but I did get the balance ball exercise dvd, and I have others, I am just too darned LAZY to do them! I'm giving myself excuses, which is frustrating. Any of us building in some time for exercise? Any ideas about the LAZY factor? Do I reward myself, or deride myself!?!?!?

One good thing, last post-partum, for whatever reason, I lost quite a lot of hair - not clumps or anything, but my hair thinned out a lot. That doesn't seem to be happening this time (although my hair doesn't look so hot, either - no time to brush or wash these days!). Anyone else?

Thrush seems to be under control here. Except for one sore nipple, which isn't too bad other than the initial latch on, we seem to be thrush free. I am keeping up with the vinegar and internal probiotics, and using the tto once or twice a day (he really doesn't love it, maybe I made it too strong?), but otherwise I'm leaving it to nature. His bum rash is very mild now, just a bit red, really, with no bumps. How's everyone else doing on that?

Ok, time for me to go back to the pregnancy site and post the link (doh!). If anyone knows how to include a stickie to our birth stories, that would be a great addition here.

Well, now that I've read all the stuff on THIS site, lots more to add - and since I'm wide awake I may just as well! Ok, here's the thing. My birth was a lot like Pam's in that it was LOUD (when I didn't think I would be) and a little panicky (I said "I CAN'T DO THIS" quite a few times), and in general a drama queen's production without ever intending for it to be this way, but it WAS a home birth, it WASN'T assisted by the evil Dr. No, and my beautiful mw's were there, my beautiful baby girl was there (and wouldn't have been in a hospital because she's not vaxed and they wouldn't let her in - aak!), and my beautiful baby boy came out perfect (as he'll ever be) and once he was out I was so FINE and happy that I just don't CARE how loud and un-perfect I was during the birth! It's a hugely stressful time, mamas, and sometimes we don't always perform to expectation under that kind of tension. So cut yourselves some slack and ENJOY the moments that ARE. BTW - I HATED water AND music for this birth (and had the expectation of gentle music and nice quiet baths, controlled breathing (NOT!) - in fact very little went as planned!). I had music for a little while at the beginning of active labor, and LOTS during the early labor part, but NONE during the most intense period (last 4 hrs or so). Might mention here that I spent like HOURS selecting music that I wanted to have during the birth - talk about WASTE OF TIME! I think I just wanted it to be quiet when I wasn't 'working'. That felt nice.

Oh yeah, we did a chart of all the nursing/sleeping Ori did today, just to see where we're at. I though I'd do this every month-birthday for a little while (yeah, right - let's see what happens next month!) and I can put them into his baby book someday. So he nursed for a total of 4 hrs. (rounded) today, slept for 11 hrs. 15 min between 6:30am yesterday and 3:30am today (when I came downstairs - ugh) (It'll be 14hrs. before 24 hrs. are up). This includes a 5 min. sleep that TOTALLY had me fooled (in 5 min. I had my coat and boots on to go for a walk with dog, and JUST as I'm heading out the door, he's calling my left hand side name (she's the big one, we call her bertha). Oh well!). Interesting. He's awake more than I had thought! Certainly a lot more than he was two weeks ago by about 4 hrs.). He's actually quite predictable when everyone isn't home (it's a lot quieter and dd isn't here to poke him asking if he's awake!). I may try this again just to see whether he gets a lot more sleep when we're home alone. I kinda think so.

Maybe if I tried this with his pee/poops I'd get the pattern, but as it is, I'm with Jessi and overwhemled by the AMOUNT of pees and poos and couldn't possibly conceive of controlling them. I give you SO much credit, ec'ers! Seems as soon as a diaper is on he's wet farting or peeing into it. The actual number of big poops is a LOT less now - maybe 3 or 4 a day. But he farts like his papa (eeew!)

Happy President's Day mamas! xxx Andy
post #17 of 198
Hey Ladies,

It took me a couple of days to come over. Since we are not having anymore kids, it felt like such a huge step to come over, pretty much knowing that I won't ever be back in a due date club. We have talked about having a third, but if that happens, we will be adopting. We have always talked about that and since there are so many older childern who need good homes it appeals to us.

Will is doing okay. I am taking him to the ped today since they told us that if he gets sick, they need to check him and make sure his heart is working to hard. Hopefully, it won't settle in his chest like Emily's did. He goes to one of those big practices that have multiple doctors, but he sees to one who has like 90% of their cardiac patients. This guy is real down to earth and talks normally to both the parents and the kids, which is a big deal for me. I hate it when people are really loud and squeaky when they talk to kids. Some people can even hit notes thhat only dogs can hear.

We also got really good news this weekend from the accountant. We are getting enough back in taxes to pay for any out of pocket costs, if there are any, that might occur from the surgery. If there are none, then we will use it to pay off debt and get some things done with the house. I am so excited!

Just a quick note about birth - coming here and making friends with all of you and hearing your birth stories made me second guess mine too. I had a medicalized birth. However, thinking back on it again, I am really glad we were there. Will's heart rate kept dropping during contractions and he wasn't recovering well. Might have been a function of his heart condition, but we don't know. And his cord was tied in a true knot. Finally, I know that I would not have relaxed enough to continue to dialate, based on previous history, so the epidural was a good thing in my case. We had a great birth, and there were things that I will always remember and I look back on it positively, now. I think it is natural to rethink things when you hear about how others did it, and compare what you did to them. When it comes down to it, you did great if you are healthy and your babe is healthy. Just my 2 cents. Hope it makes sense, I feel like it is a bit rambly.

Well, we are off to the dentist today. Hope everyone has a good holiday.

Proud Mom - hope you make it to the park today. If it ever stops raining. I fear we're going to have to build a boat soon if it doesn't. Should be a beautiful wildflower season, but hell on allergies.
post #18 of 198
It looks like the walk is out today. We rceived a call about an hour ago that dh's grandma died (2nd one in 6 months ) So, I am online trying to find a fare lower than $650 for us. Dh would like us all to go back for the funeral. He was the only one that went last time. We shall see...

PM
post #19 of 198
Oh PM! I am so sorry. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
post #20 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabeca
One good thing, last post-partum, for whatever reason, I lost quite a lot of hair - not clumps or anything, but my hair thinned out a lot. That doesn't seem to be happening this time (although my hair doesn't look so hot, either - no time to brush or wash these days!). Anyone else?
Andy, my hair doesn't seem to be falling out either. I'm actually kinda bummed about it, since my hair was on the thick side before pg. Now its like a giant bush, that constantly knots up. I don't even want to brush it (and haven't in 2 days : ) becuase it just knots right back up. Kinda like trying to mop up a waterfall.

Jessi, my bellybutton never went back to "normal" after ds. It bothered me for awhile but you get used to it. This time it looks just like it did before pg. So maybe the belly-cave is yet another badge of motherhood.

Sleeping babes, I cannot get Elizabeth to sleep with out nursing her, nad quite honestly I didn't expect to. DH can get her to sleep and I think it is quite amazing. DS nursed to sleep until he stopped nursing, a little over 6 mths. To tell you the truth I loved nursing him to sleep. Nursing helps to relax me and I've been falling asleep so nicely. Much earlier than I used to, but babies know we more than we give them credit for and I'm sure little Elizabeth knows mummy needs extra sleep and that's why she'll fuss and fuss until I lay down to nurse her after 7, thought we've been closes to 8 lately.

On the peeling skin. THanks for all your answers I figured it was just wait it out : I was hoping for something quicker. She's only had one bath, and that was after we came home from the hospital (we wouldn't let them give her a bath there) We did use baby wash then, she was a little "ripe". Funny story on bathing. This is dh's first baby and when I was buying all the baby stuff and planning on what to buy. He insisted he didn't need a baby bath tub (he's in charge of bathing) he wanted to know what was wrong with the sink. Well the first birth she and I took together with dh passing her in and taking her out of the big tub. Ok so I've been harping him to give her a bath for 3-4 days, and he keeps saying he'll do it after whatever and it still hasn't been done. Well Saturday night I got mad and insisted he give her a bath first thing Sunday morning becuase we had that birthday party to go to. Well guess why he hasn't given her a bath...... He wants a baby tub!! He says he doesn't feel safe with the sink becuase she is so slippery and wiggly when she's wet. HA!!! He got a great big "I told you so" for that. So he got his baby bath yesterday and the little stinker will get a bath tongiht.

Well she's getting up. DS is on school vacation this week so I'm sure I'll have an interesting week.
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