Thanks Sunbaby for the reassurance
there is not a gym around here with childcare plus I don't have a car to get around anyway during the day. In the summer I can walk places but its been too cold for ds lately with the windchill
But I have started taking a yoga class (a few weeks ago) when dh gets home and it is a wonderful release. I've also been able to do some of what I learn at home with ds "helping" me find the right positions. I should check out the Hypbirth book. I have been reading Ina May which has helped calm me about the birth experience itself although I really wish I could find more positive birth stories in a hospital setting. there is simply no way I can have a homebirth here unless I use a midwife 2.5 hours away or go unassisted, both of which I am jsut not comfortable with since my total labor from start to finish was less than 6 hours with ds and could be half that with this one. Atleast the hospital here has no means to give epidurals so all the nursing staff are used to women having natural childbirth and our very supportive of that. I am also reading Birthing From Within and it does help but it also keeps bringing me back to the disapointment I feel about my first birth, I guess I still need to work to move past that.
Anyway thank-you everyone for your support! This thread is really helping me.
Heket, make some time for yourself, even just a half hour a week. Actually dh doesnt know this but Yoga was canceled on Tuesday so instead I took my self out for a piece of pie and decaf coffee
! It was really nice and got me centered and when I came home dinner was made for me!