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Csection Support Thread April 2005 (cont discussion from March) - Page 7

post #121 of 424
Originally Posted by its_our_family
My second af after pg was WAY worse than the first...be careful what you wish for :LOL
I'm having my second right now, and this is the most painful, heaviest period I've ever had in my life, bar none. It was also very late, and makes me wonder if I didn't have a very early miscarriage; I've never had such severe lower back pain with a period. Of course, it could just be that my uterus is in a different position now...

Megan, It'll be okay, no matter what happens. We're here for you.
post #122 of 424
You know when you say something and then life just proves you wrong??? I signed off the computer and stood up and blood suddenly gushed everywhere-I've just soaked 2 pads in 2 hours. This is insane! Once again, the universe kicks but.

Megan, may you get what you wish for--whatever that may be, a bfp or a visit from the old witch.
post #123 of 424
I had that the first 5 or 6 afs. NOw I'm pretty much like I was p[re-kids.

I want the hag...give me the hag
post #124 of 424
I will pack her bags and send her out ASAP--with this sudden gushing I can't wait to see her go!
post #125 of 424
Originally Posted by shannon0218
I will pack her bags and send her out ASAP--with this sudden gushing I can't wait to see her go!
It may be tmi, but I seriously floated out of bed this morning. My poor niece was horrified, she thought I was dying. :LOL
post #126 of 424
I'm terrified of my next AF. As I mentioned earlier on this thread, I got an IUD. Had to reschedule my appointment a bunch of times, so it just got inserted yesterday. I was worried about it because DS was a planned c-section and I didn't even labor, so I had a virgin cervix, but the nurse practitioner didn't have any trouble at all. The only part that really hurt was when she clamped the stabilizer on my cervix - and that hurt like a you know what. I've been a little crampy since then, but just a little bit.

So anyway, like I was saying, terrified of AF, since IUDs can make them heaver and more painful, and here you're all saying that my second post partum flow is going to be a bear anyway! I had a couple of days of very light bleeding last month, and of course no idea when to expect AF to come.

But no more unplanned pregnancies for me, so that's a good thing!
post #127 of 424
my periods are WAY more painful, but much lighter in flow for some reason! i think i must have a big web of adhesions, just going on how everything feels when i bend this way or that, when i get up from sitting, when i carry Willow around, and how my cramps feel. it's definitely worse on the right side.

re: the bonding issues i was worried about: no more worries! it was so cool, one morning Willow looked at me differently and then she just melted up against me and stayed like that for a long time. and has been all melty and soft and huggable ever since! i was doing the same things every day, so i have no idea what changed it for her. but i am SO glad for both of us, she is really blossoming now! lots of smiling and laughing. she also puts her arms out to me to pick her up, i LOVE that

re: the lack of breastfeeding ... it was because of my medications, actually she was latching on pretty well and i had a lot of milk. i still leak milk sometimes, it's never truly stopped! i nursed her for comfort on and off whenever the time had passed (16 hours) after i took my meds when they would be least harmful to her, she started fighting me more and more. i pumped and gave her EBM after that, until i had to go on another med that has more than a 24-hour half-life. i HATE that the meds stop us from nursing, but without the meds i can't even pick her up, so it's an obvious choice. just a painful choice.
post #128 of 424
Oh Meli, I'm so happy to hear that How great is that, I was so sad for you when you wrote about not feeling bonded.
What meds are on if you don't mind me asking--I have RA so my meds were likely to pose a problem too-but alas, I produced not a drop.

STill gushing here. Oh and I got a call today regarding an appt with an internist, my OB sent in the referral as urgent because of the pain I'm having--Aug 12, yeah, I'll just live with the pain till then
post #129 of 424
It's funny to hear all of you talk about AF being heavier, because I have had three visits from her since DD was born, and all three times I had less cramps and a lighter flow than before DD. I did have a HORRENDOUS headache and a lot of crankiness, but I think that's just because I have more stress in my life now than I did before DD.
post #130 of 424
Well, I'm probably having a miscarriage as opposed to a very very heavy period...so maybe there's nothing to worry about after all. I passed a huge clot very late last night/early this morning and after that the bleeding slowed considerably. Now it's like a normal heavy period instead of a huge flood.
post #131 of 424
It sucks, whether you were trying or not.
, get lots to drink and eat some iron rich foods for the next week or so.
post #132 of 424
Hi I had c-births with both of my children. With my son Elijah I developed severe pre-eclampsia so he was born by c-birth. He was 6 week early and spent a week in an NICU an hour away from me. With my daughter I planned a home VBAC. After 22 hours of labour at home we transferred due to tons of meconium in the waters. Her heart rate dropped to mid 80s and she was born by emergency c-birth 26.5 hours after my labour started. We are planning to starrt ttc in the summer and after a lot of research and soul searching I've decided that I will plan another c-birth if I am lucky enough to conceive again. I look forward to getting to know everyone. I want a place where I can feel proud and excited about a c-birth, not ashamed and belittled. It is very hard to be on these boards when you are having a c-birth or have had one.
post #133 of 424
Shawna, welcome and good luck with TTC!! Not that I have anything to compare it with but I certainly don't regret my planned c-section. I feel I had a gentler birth than many vaginal births, I still was able to hold my dd right away and we were never separated.
How is your adoption quest going??
post #134 of 424
I havent come to this thread before but thought I would now. I had a c-section 2 years ago. DD had "bad" heart tones and after only 3 hours of monitering I was taken in for an emergency section. I had no problem with this at the time but later as I started to research things I found out that her heart tones were never bad, just on the low end of the normal scale. I was very angry about this.

So when I got pregnant last July I planned for a VBAC. After searching for an OB (none would let me VBAC) I found the most amazing midwife. I saw her through my entire pregnancy...until I was 36 weeks. That is when we moved to an entirley different state. Here I was unable to find a midwife I could afford, most Drs wouldnt accept me as a transfer paitent due to how far along I was. I managed to find a Dr and due to his insurance I was told that I had to have another C-section. I thought of everything and tried to induce myself so that I could labor at home and avoid a section. No such luck. On March 17th I had my second c-section.

I am very upset about this. I want to scream. If I think about it I start to tear up or cry all together. No one understands why I am so upset. I am pissed that some dumb a** man can tell me what I have to do to myself and my child becuase he doesnt want to be held liable. I am pissed that all of the descion was taken out of my hands. I am pissed that no one would listen to me. I am pissed that my body was not respected and its natural abilities were not respected. I am pissed that a small statistic is what stopped me from acheiving the one thing that makes me a woman. I am pissed.

I dont want anymore kids now. I refuse to be cut open again for no reason.
post #135 of 424
Oh, Kim I understand your pissy feelings. I really do.

Hi, all. I've been reading along debating whether to post. Kim talked me into it. I am almost 12 pp. I was all set to have a bradley-inspired birth at a birthing center. I labored there for many hours, 4 of those spent pushing. DS never passed by my cervix. I had a "lip" that he MW tried to push out of the way, but apparently it didnt' work cuz when we got to the hospital the doctor said I was only 9 cm (he was an ass, and you could tell by his attitude that he didn't respect mw care or birth center moms). well, I have news for him: my body thought I was ready--it was pushing with all it's might even without me. I got an epidural in the hopes that if I stopped pushing my cervix would relax and redilated, but it was no good and 6-7 hours later I had a c-section. I feel robbed. betrayed. violated. I still do to this day. DS is fine (but we had many problems bfing) and the surgeon apparently did a good job (we'll see if and when I vbac). But for example I was watching steel magnolias the other day and m'lynn talks about how she was there when shelby was born and there when she died, and all I could think was that, yeah, I was there, but I couldn't see it, and I barely got to see him there, and I really don't remember the first time I held him. that really hurts.

afterwards the doc kept saying it was "size and position" but ds had a relatively small head and he wasn't even 8 pounds (and he was tall to boot). He had his head cocked slightly to the side and back, and was born with such a conehead and eventually scabbed over where his head was pressing against my cervix. But my friend delivered her son whose head was positioned similarly. So why me? I keep asking what I, what dh, what my mw could have done differently to prevent this. i know this thread is not meant to be a place to question the necessity of c/s but if anyone has thoughts about my case, I welcome your pms.

thanks for being here, ya'll
post #136 of 424
Oh Kim I'm so sorry you were unable to have the birth you wanted. I'm sorry you were made to feel so violated emotionally and physically. I have to be honest, when I read that you felt robbed of the one thing that makes you a woman. I understand where you're coming from-breast feeding was something I desparately wanted to do, but I was unable, it hurt me to the very core of my being. There are so very many things that make you a woman and even more things that make you a mom. You created 2 beautiful kids. Your body nourished them, kept them alive, allowed them to thrive. They felt your intense love for them before they even felt your lips on their forehead. Twice you have shared with them the ability to "know they're in there" before anyone else could feel or see them move. Is there any more special time in pregnancy than that first time you feel a kick??
Had you wanted more than 2 kids before you ended up with this second c-section? If you did, I encourage you to try to make that dream come true. Even if you end up having another c-section, the outcome is so very much less traumatic when you are able to plan it out first, when you can shop for a doctor who support your goals for the perfect birth, even if in inperfect surroundings. Kim (OTF) has posted on this thread her birth plan for her upcoming c-section. I worked with my doctor to have a wonderful birth experience, I have NO regrets whatsoever (well, I regret that the spinal never took!) Your caregiver has the ability to make or break the experience. My OB encouraged me to see it as giving birth, in the weeks leading up to my surgery she and I spent literally hours figuring out what we could do and what we couldn't do, how to make the OR feel like a safe and welcoming environment--so we had music that I chose, dh wore the cologne he wore on our first date--the scent just makes me feel like someone is hugging me--I had a pillow under my head that we sprinkled some lavender essential oil on--my arms were not tied down--my OB gave me a complete step by step comentary--once the initial cut was made, my drape was completely lowered, allowing me to see everything (the pillow was GREAT for this) My dh had the camera in the OR and started snapping pics the second my doctor said, here's her head, she's coming right now (if you click on Molly's site, you will see pics where only her head is out) The nurses checked her very quickly under the warmer (like 10 seconds) and then did the rest of the checks with her on my chest, she wasn't cleaned up and weighed until they were closing me. There are SO MANY things that can be done to make for an emotionally succesful c-section.

At the end of the day, it's important to think about the truth--no man will ever feel the first kick, no man will ever have that pregnancy connection where you just sit there concentrating on that wee being inside you and most importantly--no man will every sport a c-section scar. Necessary or not, that scar helped bring your children into the world, I believe it was Kim (OTF) who said she wears her scar as a badge of honor, that statement helped me come to terms with any regrets I had about Molly's entry into the world.
Please take care, and PLEASE keep talking about it.
post #137 of 424
Shannon ... that was a great post.

Kim... I understand your feelings, too. Many of us have had awful c/s experiences with providers who really thought they knew better and put us, at our most vulnerable moments, into situations where we felt we had no choice. It is hard to overcome and let go of the anger. It is hard not to feel violated and taken advantage of. It is just plain hard. But we all understand your feelings. And talking about it helps enormously, especially with a bunch of women who won't say to you "well at least you and the baby are here and healthy" as if the emotional aspects of the experience are meaningless. We live in a world where drs are viewed as gods. They aren't. They are human and fallable and also subjected to some obscence pressures from forces beyond their control (I'm thinking med mal insurance carriers who forbid many drs from attending VBACs by making the insurance totally cost prohibitive). It isn't an excuse for treating you like you don't matter, but it is a reality, unfortunately. But I think one of the best things we all can do is try to put our stories out there and try to fight the system that feeds us misinformation.

I'm not sure any of that made sense, but it reminds of the article I just read in one of our local papers. The article talked about NJ (where I live) having the the highest c/s rate in the US in 2003 -- the year ds was born -- 33.1%. The hospital I used? The rate was 41%. The hospital I initially thought I'd use for the next baby -- the rate is 36%. I'm seriously considering going very far out of my way to a hospital with a much lower rate (i.e., 26% or 22%) since an HBAC isn't a possibility. And actually, my mom lives very near one of these 2 lower rate hospitals so dh and ds would have a local place to stay.

But I digress ... the article talked about how the med mal crisis is making it harder and harder for women in NJ to find providers willing to attend VBACs, willing to really see a normal pg through l&d even when there are a few minor hiccups (baby's rate drops for 2 seconds -- must be fetal distress, call the OR), and willing to really fight for patients. The article talks about how primary and subsequant c/s are just habit -- a habit that has been changed before (in the 1980s) and needs to be addressed again. That's where we come in. We need to use our experiences to demonstrate that it is obsurd that there are so many c/s and obsurd that drs and ins carriers are so afraid of VBAC. Here's an interesting quote:

[T]he risk of uterine rupture is considerably less than the risk of respiratory distress to infants as a result of scheduled Caesareans.
Anyway ... I'm babbling and ds is waking from his nap. I'll try to find a link to the article online and post it. (I don't think this particular paper has a website, though.) In all honesty, it is one of the better "mainstream" articles I've seen in a LONG time.

to all who need them.
post #138 of 424
Thank you for your replies. i would have screamed if someone said "at least baby is here and healthy"!

Stephanie-you made me cry. I have told myself most of those things and I hear them except for the tiny negative part that totally dwells on the situation. but thank you for saying them again.

After dd was born I would walk around and touch my scar and think it was beautiful. afterall that was my link to dd. After learning so much this past year I find it harder to find the beauty, although I still touch ut knowing it is where my babes came from.

I am studying to be a midwife, doula, and child birth educator. we were going to put my schooling off for a little while but this has made it our top prioruty. I want to be able to help educate those who might blindly follow a dr into an unnessacery section. maybe through that i can find some peace with it.

thanks for listening
post #139 of 424
Can I just say that I so did NOT miss having my period for 20 minths!!! As you all predicted, now that AF is back she's here with a vengeance. My IUD insertion last Wednesday was followed by a few days of light spotting, leading directly into Flo's arrival on Monday. The beginning of the week was pretty normal with thick dark blood and pretty regular cramps. Yesterday morning I noticed the blood had gotten lighter and thinner, which is usually a sign for me that things are coming to an end. Not this time! I am literally gushing. I guess I've been lucky in my life up until now, but for the first I can understand why women would use tampons - I've never had enough flow before for them to be comfortable.

I don't know whether to blame the IUD, being postpartum, or some combination thereof, but blech! And wouldn't you know, I have some "activities" planned today, and I'm just feeling sooo not sexy...

Okay, I'm sure that was TMI for you all. Please carry on.
post #140 of 424
Hi All, I cannot remember if I've replied to this thread before... But, I'd like to be a part of it now anyway. okay?

My ds was "born" via csection 2 years ago. a preemie too. I have suffered greatly due to the csection. on an emotional level only... as I healed in like a week.

I just bought the book "the silent knife".... and after just 60 pages I can feel the healing start!
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