Hi everyone - I appreciate the replies.... sincerely do.
For those who asked why homebirthing isn't an option: two reasons. One, like Kim said, there is no one in Juneau who will help me have a homebirth. No midwife will take me on as a client. The birth center here can't because they cannot do vbacs by law. The one midwife I've heard of who can do VBACs, won't take on any new VBAC clients. With this recent change in policy, she doesn't want to be the "VBAC" midwife (this is what I"m told. I don't know if that's accurate, but I do know when I called her, she said she could not help me birth, but she'd see me for my prenatal visits.)
I thought about flying someone in - but I do know I ultimately would like to be in the hospital (see the reason below).
The second reason why homebirthing is out: I had an abnormal quad screen for DS - a test I regret ever doing. We had a Level II U/S after the blood work came back. It looked good, but I was told there's still a chance. I feel like I need to be in a setting where my baby can be cared for should it be necessary. If she does have DS, she's at a higher risk for things like heart conditions, etc. I feel like I need to have care available for her right away should she need it.
Shannon & Kim - I did truly appreciate your posts. I haven't checked this thread since I originally posted, but I haven't stopped thinking about the issue. I came to a decision today - and when I read your posts, they mirrored things I've been thinking about.
So the decision - I'm staying home and going forward with the c/s. here's why:
I did find a new ob - she's in the same practice, but I REALLY trust her. She spent over an hour with me last week doing nothing but talking to me about my situation. She also is the one ob the women I've talked to over the last week - including two women I really trust - recommended to me.
I also found a pediatrician who would be totally on board with making a c/s situation much more bearable - meaning, with my son, I didn't get to see him for over an hour, I didn't get to breastfeed him, they immediately took him from me when they were stitching me up. She disagrees with that "approach" and said she sees no reason why she couldn't examine the baby on my chest, why I shouldn't be allowed to breastfeed immediately, and why the baby shouldn't be with me in recovery.
I hadn't thought about it in quite the same context as it was put in your replies - but your point about being with doctor or doula or midwife I don't know doesn't sound like a good choice.
But the most compelling reason for my decision...
After really thinking about, I'm not willing to give up or compromise the time after the birth for the birth itself. The time I'm going to be home with my family is more important to me than how I birth. Today my son had a hard time falling asleep - he wanted me to hold him, so I did. And as I looked at him it struck me that I really didn't care how he got here - I love him so much.
And I looked at my husband and said the same thing - I don't care how she gets here, I just want her here.
my son is not feeling well - I have to go - but thank you -
I'm going to look at the birth plans and stories - start thinking about how I can make my next c/s the most rewarding experience I can. I might have questions