OnTheFence, all i can say is that i am definitely glad i had labor before the c-birth. i mean, i could feel all the endorphins kicking in, and i was so glad Willow got the "happy hormones"
i can see the attraction of planning a c-birth and being ready for it (rather than rushing into an emergency situation like i had to), and letting the baby pick her birthday! a little labor might give you a great endorphin rush which will see you all the way through into recovery, i didn't "come down" off my high for 3 days
but then all labors are different, i think if you go into with a "it's pain with a purpose" mindset and take it one surge at a time, it could be very exciting! like going up that big hill on a rollercoaster, and then whoooooshhh!
on to another subject ... i'm having issues with nightmares
i wish they didn't require a year's membership to join the abuse survivor's forum here! i have to wait until August. the cesarean brought up so many issues for me, because the spinal went wrong and i was totally numb and passing out, i had a lot of problems at first truly believing Willow was my baby (looking back i feel so stupid for worrying about that! she was SO my girl!) because she was there one moment, and just GONE the next. it seemed like an eternity, you know? so now, she'll be sleeping in my arms, and i dream that i wake up and she's gone
i'm screaming and panicking trying to find her. then i wake up for real, my heart pounding like crazy, and she's still peacefully asleep in my arms. whew! anyway the nightmares are *every* night now, so i know i need to talk to someone. i'm on Medicare and Medicaid, calling around trying to find a therapist that takes either, no luck so far.
anyone else have nightmares later on? i mean, not right after the surgery, but like 5 or more months after birth?