Csection Support Thread April 2005 (cont discussion from March) - Page 19

[edamommy]

Originally Posted by mellybean

anyone else have nightmares later on? i mean, not right after the surgery, but like 5 or more months after birth?

Yep. My ds is 26 months. I still have a lot of night time "anxiety". I didn't see him for 3 days after the section (I saw a fleeting blurry image of his butt...). He was flight-for-life-d to PSL in Denver and I had to stay in Vail to recover. Ugh. It was mostly bad right after coming home from the hospital. What sleep I did get was only when he was resting in my arms. We tried to put him in the cradle next to our bed those initial days... but the fear that he wouldn't be there when I awoke was so strong that I needed to hold him to sleep at all! Which was good, in the long run, as he needed that too. Now, 2 years later- I do still wake in a bit of a panic sometimes...with that feeling that he's not there. I hate it.

[OnTheFence]

Tomorrow I go in for my OB appointment, I am actually going to discuss the possibility of VBAC if my baby is in the right position. I've never had a baby in the "right" position and I've never gone into labor, so the only way I would even want to attempt it, is if I went into spontaneous labor to begin with. I am not sure what my doctor will say. The ACOG seems to leave VBA2C at the OBs discretion.
Since Katie is head down, I am also thinking of waiting another week for my scheduled csection since my risks with a vertex baby are less than with a breech baby.
Right now I am really at a loss, because I want to really listen to my body and this baby. I am perfectly fine with a repeat csection, but I have this strong pull that if Katie puts me into labor before then I should at least give my body a TOL.

Kim

[its_our_family]

OTF That would be AWESOME!! What an exciting oppurtunity for you. I'd write more but nak....

Let us know how it goes

[OnTheFence]

I spent several hours talking to another mom last night about VBAC, Cesarean and birth in general, it was a good conversation to have before my appointment this morning.

First let me say, that Katie is vertex, she is right on my cervix, and is even in the proper position for birth. Her estimated weight is 5lbs 5oz, and she is very "fat" looking for a 33 weeker. The US tech was new (to that office) and wanted to play with the 4D US machine and I was not going to argue. I got a great 10-15 minute peak at my baby who has very fat legs and fat cheeks. She even sucked her thumb for us, and acted all wild giving us a really great show. She also has HAIR! And we checked, and she is definitely still a girl.

Now for the rest of my update. My OB is as puzzled as I am, she probably spent 40 minutes talking to me today about my options, and vaginal birth isn't one of them. She doesn't even want me going into labor, if it can be avoided. She said there is just too much unknown and its better to go with what we know than what we don't know. It also appears that my septum has torn or is tearing -- she said she doesn't have enough experience with this to even know what kind of risk if any has on my pregnancy/uterus. She said that she has other patients with uterine deformities, but none like mine (thanks Mom...lol) She also, is amazed that Katie was able to get past the septum and turn vertex. We discussed rupture - she said it could vary and she sited the same numbers I've found on the net and through my own research -- it ranges from 3-20%, she also said that most ruptures do happen before or during the first stage of labor.

I'm not disappointed. In fact I feel relief, that I can continue on with my csection as planned. It may not end up being scheduled like I want it because if I start having more than 5-6 contractions an hour she is going to go ahead and section me -- especially since we don't really know what is going on with the septum and I am definitely looking at a csection at 37 weeks, even with her head down at this point. I'm not going to lie, I am a little nervous about going into labor because of the "unknown" and I am concerned about the septum. I didn't know it could "tear".

I will try to post more later.

Kim

[its_our_family]

OTF-- I'm glad you feel good about it. I know I felt some relief when I schedlued my repeat at 37 weeks

I didn't know a septum could rip either. Can you feel it? Is she going to do some research and let you know about the tear or is she just goin to wait? Good luck to you! You are getting close aren't you

[Cullens_Girl]

how do you deal with a dissapointing birth experience?

I hated the whole thing and frankly although I want more children I would rather adopt than go through what I did again.

I went into labor on Thanksgiving Day. I was cooking dinner for my family and thought it was just gas pains. Well it wasn't. I had inconsistent hard contractions for two days and finally went into the hospital Saturday morning around 6 a.m. 4 cm's dilated. Everything was going as planned - I was able to work through my contractions naturally until about 3 p.m. The doctor's decided to break my bag of waters and give me pitocin to speed things up although I was already 9 cm's dilated. Looking back - WT*?? Any way that REALLY sped things up but I started having horrible back labor. I was still okay but they wouldn't let me move from my back -they had me hooked up to all these tubes and wires and crap and CJ's heartrate started dropping w/every contraction after they administered the pitocin. Back labor was NO FUN lying flat on your back. The nurses kept offering pain relief so I finally caved and got an epidural around 5 p.m. The pain relief only last about an hour or so. Again, I find out later that epidurals don't work for hard back labor. Again I say now - WT*??? My OB was out of town so I had the doctor on call and he has me start pushing at 6 p.m. only we don't progress at all. CJ's heartrate dropped down to 20 bpm at one point - and that's when they decided I needed a c-section. All my hard work and I wound up with a c-section. CJ was born around 9:30 that night. He was stuck on my tailbone and was told later it would have been physically impossible for me to deliver him vaginally. I don't believe that.

I am so dissapointed with the whole thing. They were talking football while stitching me up and Cullen was in with CJ getting him all checked out. I didn't see CJ until like an hour later and I couldn't even hold him because I was numb from the neck down. And the shaking! The uncontrolable shaking was worse then the contractyions. He didn't nurse with me until midnight - almost 3 hours later.

Every time I think about his birth I cringe. Recovery sucked. I am not living in a place conducive to recovering from a c-section. Nothing I could would make me comfortable and I took minimal pain relievers because I was nursing. Almost gave up on nursing all together.

They told me I won't be able to deliver vaginally ever and the idea of another c-section terrifies me.

How do you all deal with bad birth experiences, and what can I do to get past this? Is the whole no vbac a load of cr*p?

[OnTheFence]

Dani,

I don't see why you would not be a candidate for VBAC. It appears by your story that your labor was mismanaged.

My first csection was horrific -- I actually did go onto to adopt a child and my cesarean experience played a part in that. However I did get pregnant and went on to have a postive, beautiful birth experience - a cesarean. It wasn't until then that I was completely healed of what had happened to me before. Its a spiritual, emotional, and physical journey for sure. I am now set to have another baby by planned cesarean section in June. I have a wonderful OB has supported me every step of the way and is willing to give me the birth I want.

I strongly recommend that you find a VBAC friendly doctor in your area, get your OP reports and medical records, and study them to find out what went wrong and what they listed as the reason for your cesarean.

[alaska]

congrats OTF on your questions getting answered and decision made.... I can imagine the relief you feel.

[Cullens_Girl]

Originally Posted by OnTheFence

Dani,

I don't see why you would not be a candidate for VBAC. It appears by your story that your labor was mismanaged.

My first csection was horrific -- I actually did go onto to adopt a child and my cesarean experience played a part in that. However I did get pregnant and went on to have a postive, beautiful birth experience - a cesarean. It wasn't until then that I was completely healed of what had happened to me before. Its a spiritual, emotional, and physical journey for sure. I am now set to have another baby by planned cesarean section in June. I have a wonderful OB has supported me every step of the way and is willing to give me the birth I want.

I strongly recommend that you find a VBAC friendly doctor in your area, get your OP reports and medical records, and study them to find out what went wrong and what they listed as the reason for your cesarean.

thanks for your reply... i think I live in an area where finding a doc hopefully will not be too difficult if the time comes. One issue is that in the state of RI I believe (need to check my facts) homebirths are illegal - or it's illegal for a midwife to preside or something like that. Again I really need to check my facts. DH and I are planning a move to NH within the next two years so it could be I'll be dealing with NH not RI.

[Ms.Doula]

Dani- I could have written that Post almost to a tee. I sympathise, really


And ITA w/ OTF!!

I don't see why you would not be a candidate for VBAC. It appears by your story that your labor was mismanaged

Deffinatly find a Midwife (even one that delivers n a birth center/hospital) to work with you. Even now, to manage your well-woman care

[mandalamama]

Dani, if you haven't read it already, i recommend the book "Birthing From Within" by Pam England. if you're artsy, you might like the drawing exercises. i loved using the book to prepare for birth, and now i'm loving using it to recover from my c-birth. i hope you're able to find a good midwife!

OTF, you really are a Cesarean Goddess! have you ever thought of getting something like a spiral tattooed on your belly?

someday i want to get a small spiral tattoo right above my scar. i had made a little "pocket goddess" with a spiral belly and rubbed it the whole time i was in labor! the one time i feel truly good about the c-birth is when i touch my scar and think of how i'll explain Willow's birth to her when she's old enough to understand, i can show her the scar and tattoo and say "that is my other birth canal, that is how you entered my world"

[OnTheFence]

Thank Melly
I am not a tatoo kind of girl but that sounds cool. :LOL

[its_our_family]

melly-- I was going to do something similar but they can't tat over scars because the ink doesn't hold and I have too many stretch marks to work around :LOL

Ok, so I asked this in a seperate post but no one has answered....

I think I'm having pain in my c/b scar. I've not had problems with adhesions before and I'm not sure what they are even like. I can't tell where the pain is comoing from as it seems to radiate along the entire scar line (internally) I thought maybe it was an ovary acting up but since it follows my scar line I'm not so sure. What do you think??

[mandalamama]

Originally Posted by its_our_family

I think I'm having pain in my c/b scar. I've not had problems with adhesions before and I'm not sure what they are even like. I can't tell where the pain is comoing from as it seems to radiate along the entire scar line (internally) I thought maybe it was an ovary acting up but since it follows my scar line I'm not so sure. What do you think??

you can tell if it's adhesions if the pain starts/worsens with your movements, i'm pretty sure. like, if i'm sitting cross-legged and lean back on my arms (doing some yoga) WOW it hurts! feels like a sharp cold sensation in some areas and outright tearing pain in others. i have the cold sensations near my scar, but my pain is more towards my navel, on the right side. perhaps you could try bending and twisting to see if there's a pattern to the pain?

this is my first surgical experience so i don't know how to tell if a scar has torn or ruptured from the inside, hopefully someone else can post with that info.

[its_our_family]

My doc said it could be adhesions. BUt I have no pain with movmnt or if I'm having pain it doens't get worse with movement. SO, I'm not sure.

She said if it gets worse or is longer lasting then we'll look into it but right now adhesions is the best guess. But I'm 15 months POST c/b...wouldn't it have started sooner than this??

[Ms.Doula]

I think I'm having pain in my c/b scar. I've not had problems with adhesions before and I'm not sure what they are even like. I can't tell where the pain is comoing from as it seems to radiate along the entire scar line (internally) I thought maybe it was an ovary acting up but since it follows my scar line I'm not so sure. What do you think??

I dont know about it being adhesions... doesnt sound likely being 15 mos. pp but I have the same pains. but i was told im just still healing. (Im only 10 weeks pp.)
It's more likely just uncomfortable scar tissue. Somehow iritated maybe?

[Treasuremapper]

This thread is fascinating. My cesarean births were so different, and it appears that there is a whole range of experience.

[its_our_family]

Originally Posted by inezyv

This thread is fascinating. My cesarean births were so different, and it appears that there is a whole range of experience.

This could not be more true

[eilonwy]

Strange question-- my scar gets *extremely* itchy and peely when I'm about to get my period. Is that normal? Are the two even related?

[chantald]

Originally Posted by its_our_family

This could not be more true

ditto.. my 2 c/s were very very different...

Chantal