Toddlers and Cleaning

[wendygrace]

Not sure where this goes but here goes...

I need suggestions for my dh who is a sahd. We have two kids, one and two years old, and dh is having a very difficult time keeping the house managable with the kids. For some reason the kids cry the second he even moves from the couch while they are playing. And napping is a nightmare so he can't clean during that time either. Anyways, for those of you who have or had toddlers and were SAHPs, how did you get your cleaning done. Just the basics would be nice. Highchair trays placed in the kitchen after meals, paper off the kitchen floor, toys back in the toy box, books back on the shelf. Am I asking for too much?

When I get home I try and help but its usually dinner and bath and bed and I go down with the kids as I'm still nursing all night long and rarely get enough sleep.

[madrone]

I find I can only do tiny amounts at a time so that my 3 yo ds doesn't quite notice. While going to the bathroom for toilet purposes, I'll dampen a scrub cloth with e-cover, clean the sink, and then go back to life. I'll pick up a cleaning cloth a few times a day but always clean only one thing. Toys tend to get picked up in the middle of the night while ds is sleeping but dd is crying and wanting to be walked. Or they get picked up just one at a time. A half-minute here and a minute there does add up to something if you keep doing it regularly. But it doesn't help me with the floors. I cannot seem to get into the mindset of a tiny bit on the floors. End up doing them all at once when DH is available to take care of the little ones. Although that sometimes results in him doing them because dd will start crying and he'd rather trade.

[ankh]

Whener my dh looks after the kids(1 & 3) I have learnt not to expect too much, it took me a while to undrestand how stressed out he gets so any hsework would be too much. I know that makes it more work for you, but I figured as long as the kids and dh were happy when I walked through the door then thats ok, sorry not very helpful, but I so have been there. I do find myself cleaning like a loonie if the kids are both busy/happy which lasts oooh I dunno about 3minutes if I'm lucky..I do think it will get easier for you when your kids are a bit older, good luck

[hallesmom]

We only have one DD, 18 months-but even at her age I have made a game out of cleaning. I let her "help" me unload the dishwasher-loading is a different story. But I find that if I keep the dishwasher unloaded and then just load the dishes as we use them-it a lot easier than doing them at one time. I can also get her to put her books away-no it's not exactly perfect/tidy-but she does it. Same w/ toys-we have one toy box and I just hand her a toy and I hold a toy and ask her to put it in the box and have her follow me-then I point or hand her more toys to put away.

Lately when my DP watches DD while I am at work he tries to do a daily pick up of everything-that they have got out for that morning. It seems to help too.

Good luck!

[Thmom]

I agree with helping... my 2yr cleans the front of the dishwasher, the fridge, the stove. We have dustpans with little brooms and they sweep, clean the highchair etc. During baths the rest of the bathroom gets cleaned etc.

[Amys1st]

You sound like a lot of working Dads to the SAHM. With one little one its a challenge- with 2 its even harder. As they get older it will be easier to tidy up. For now, its a do as you go grind that has to happen otherwise forget it.

Is your house full of things? Is there clutter? Sometimes getting rid of things makes it easier to tidy up. If there is a window of 15 minutes in the day, DH/SAHD can do a sweep and then you can do one when you get home. That might help for a while. Also is there a need for baths every night? Can DH do them in the am?
Face it you're both very busy and life will slow down eventually when you do not have a night time nurser. But DH is just as busy.

Take each day as it comes! Remember with kids the days are very long and the years are very short.

[wendygrace]

Thanks for the thoughts. I spent the weekend with the kids alone and am even more baffled then before. Both kids helped clean and I was able to get several things done, including washing and folding laundry. I think that sometimes he feels sorry for himself and lets things go. He is trying a little harder and its gotten better. A lot of it is in what we see. He picks up the plates off the kitchen table and the kitchen is "clean". I have to go in and wipe down the table and highchairs and pick up the stuff on the floor the kids threw. That doesn't even count wiping the walls, sweeping, etc. I keep trying to remember that he just doesn't see the things I do. His brain thinks differently.

Amy, our house is full of things. Mainly his toys but I am in the midst of a decluttering frenzy. I love freecycle! I am getting ready to declutter the toys and closets. That is helping some.

Thanks again.

[Amys1st]

that is baffling! Maybe your family knows that you will end up doing it so thats why its easier for you. Who knows.
Good luck w the declutter!