Circ'ed fathers of uncut boys

[malibusunny]

Do you (our does your husband) feel resentful about your own circumscion now that you have seen the benefits of being uncut?

my husband is very proud of his natural son but was at first resistant to the idea of not circ'ing. the other day he made a comment that made me realize how much he has been thinking about it since N's birth. is he alone?

[AllyRae]

I don't think he's resentful... He is glad we didn't do it, but he's sort of the "you can't change what happened, so don't dwell on it" kind of person. But he's a total intactivist now!

[Past_VNE]

My cut husband has always been anti-circ. (His was done against the explicit wishes of his parents by the on-duty doc. The rest of his family is intact.) Anyway, after doing more research and me getting pregnant, he has become an intactivist.

He has made a VCD of circ footage and has designed a sticker to hand out at the local natural foods store and is generally pretty active.

Now that we have an intact son, I can see in his eyes and hear in his comments that he's more wistful now. I feel terrible for him...and a little for me, that he is missing such a wonderful part. He plans to do foreskin restoration soon. :

He is not resentful of his parents, obviously...they didn't want it. He hasn't really spoken about the doc. I'm sure he's VERY angry...I wouldn't call it resentful. Oh, his parents sued at the time and won a pawltry sum.

[SirPentor]

Frankly it's not a big deal to me. Once we decided not to circumcise our daughter, it was clear to me that we shouldn't circumcise our son. The best available medical advice for my parents was to circumcise me. Same with my older brother. By the time my younger brother came along, either the general advise had changed or they had a more progressive doctor. So it seems like they were doing the standard of research and care, which is all I can ask of them.

[Galatea]

Originally Posted by AllyRae

I don't think he's resentful... He is glad we didn't do it, but he's sort of the "you can't change what happened, so don't dwell on it" kind of person. But he's a total intactivist now!

That is mine, exactly.

[feebeeglee]

Originally Posted by AllyRae

I don't think he's resentful... He is glad we didn't do it, but he's sort of the "you can't change what happened, so don't dwell on it" kind of person. But he's a total intactivist now!

mine too.

[susienjay]

Originally Posted by AllyRae

I don't think he's resentful... He is glad we didn't do it, but he's sort of the "you can't change what happened, so don't dwell on it" kind of person. But he's a total intactivist now!

Mine pretty much takes this attitude too. He's not mad at his parents or anything either. I do remember a couple weeks after we'd brought ds home from the hospital and dh was holding him and out of the blue he gave ds a kiss and said he was really glad we didn't do that to him.

I never had to fight my dh on this issue though, he has never wanted to circ.

[kaydee]

Originally Posted by AllyRae

I don't think he's resentful... He is glad we didn't do it, but he's sort of the "you can't change what happened, so don't dwell on it" kind of person. But he's a total intactivist now!

That's my dh's attitude as well. I wouldn't say he's a "total intactivist" now though, as strong activism isn't really his style.

[DesireeH]

Ditto to the above.

[gothmommy]

Originally Posted by AllyRae

I don't think he's resentful... He is glad we didn't do it, but he's sort of the "you can't change what happened, so don't dwell on it" kind of person. But he's a total intactivist now!

That is a good summation of my husband's feelings. Although he consented to have DS#1 cut and I think he harbors some guilt over that.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by SirPentor

So it seems like they were doing the standard of research and care, which is all I can ask of them.

This seems to be my dh's attitude too.

[Ilaria]

Another dh like AllyRae's here!

[candiland]

I'm not really sure if he's glad we left our son intact or not. He wasn't happy that he "lost" the fight to not circ. to begin with. He could probably give or take circumcision now. He won't discuss it and gets pissed when I bring it up. Although, a few weeks ago, we had a girl friend over for dinner who was trying to convince an acquaintance to not circ. He agreed with her and actually discussed it for a minute or so.

[Itlbokay]

Originally Posted by SirPentor

Once we decided not to circumcise our daughter, it was clear to me that we shouldn't circumcise our son.

If I had a daughter I would use that line, very clever way to make people think!

[Shaunam]

I don't think my DH feels resentful, but it's hard to tell. He doesn't talk about it. He knows how I feel about circumcision and I think it may have hurt his feelings because he is circ'ed. Like maybe I made him feel inadequate because he isn't whole or something. That definitely wasn't my intention and I made sure that he knows that.

[malibusunny]

resentful might be too strong a word. i liked whoever said "wistful"

[Cheshire]

I don't think my dh's is resentful. When we found out we were having a boy we did research on our own and both came to the conclusion that is wasn't medically necessary, no fights about it.

Now, having cared for our intact son for ten months dh has said that he wished he had his but he's also of the "can't change it" mind set so he doesn't dwell on it.

[boingo82]

Originally Posted by AllyRae

I don't think he's resentful... He is glad we didn't do it, but he's sort of the "you can't change what happened, so don't dwell on it" kind of person. ..

Ditto that.

[crayon]

Well we dont have a son (however we could any day EDD 13 days ) but that is for another thread!!! :LOL

Anyway, my DH is very educated on being intact v's cut and he himself is cut and is very upset about it. I think he worries about the problems that could arise from being cired and he wishes he had his full feeling- I mean how much better could it really be? He is 100% a voice for little boys and even has looked into restoration of his own penis. I would say that my DH is resentful, not to his parents but to the fact it was every started in the first place for all the boys and men that have this done not only in the states but around the world. But it is resentfulness that leads to change- our sons will never know that pain, we will teach our children properly and they will never hurt their children that way, and so on.

I mean I would be resentful and pissed if someone cut off my female parts and never asked and never had my okay.

[elf68]

Originally Posted by Past_VNE

He has made a VCD of circ footage and has designed a sticker to hand out at the local natural foods store and is generally pretty active.

Could a I get a sticker or two?