Circ'ed fathers of uncut boys - Page 2

[polka123]

Originally Posted by elf68

Could a I get a sticker or two?

me too ?

[CherryBomb]

When I was pregnant with my daughter I thought I would circ (for all the ignorant reasons most people do). Thankfully I actually took the time to research it, and I was horrified! Dh at first was wanting to circ, but after I he learned what I had, he agreed that's it wrong and we'll never do it (don't know if this one is a boy or if we'll ever have one, but still).

I wouldn't say he's resentful or angry, necassarily, but he has mentioned that he wishes he was intact. He's also got a scar and his circumsicion was done too far down, so when he gets erect he doesn't have enough room (if I described that right!) What made me sad was that until he learned about how much damage circ'ing does, he thought his penis and the problems he had were normal

[Past_VNE]

About the stickers, we need to do a new printing and are in the process of moving right now and DH is in Orlando for two weeks of training in a new plane, but YES! We will manage to get you some....just bear with me. I can give you the link to the image, just to make sure you like it.

: Don't mean to go off topic.

[Past_VNE]

Cherrybomb,

My DH has always complained that his penis ached when he had an erection, because the skin was sooooo tight. We never knew that it was caused by his circ until we did research on it when TTC.

Have him look into (or you can) foreskin restoration. It should make a world of difference in your sex life...for both of you.

[dynamohumm6]

I'm sorry, I had to delete this as I just googled my screen name (which I use for multiple boards) and I don't want DF stumbling across this.
Frank, can I PM you for some advice?
Thanks
Emmy

Samantha 1.18.99, "Newb" (boy) due 6.3.05

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by dynamohumm6

Frank, can I PM you for some advice?

Certainly! I get lots of unsolicited PM's and all are welcome. I'll gladly give you the best information/advice I have.



Frank

[aira]

Hey, great name!

My DH said basically that keeping DS intact is the only way he could ever make what was done to him bearable. It has helped him on the way to healing...

[edamommy]

My dh is cut. He says that he's not bothered by the idea of his mother having it done as it was "just the way things were done" then, plus he's jewish. But, we've learned much since those dark ages and he's proud to have NOT had his own chld cut.

[karlin]

DH is not resentful, though he does wish it hadn't been done to him (his mom has expressed remorse over it, so that really helps him not have sour feelings about it). He is restoring, so most of his problems (really tight circ) are gone now.

[Kerlowyn]

I already had an intact son when I met DH, so there was no 'discussion' on circ, just an 'education' for him :LOL He was totally open for what I had to say, and was pretty angry for a time about his loss of foreskin. He is an intactivist now

[osioke]

Google

Originally Posted by dynamohumm6

I'm sorry, I had to delete this as I just googled my screen name (which I use for multiple boards) and I don't want DF stumbling across this.

Actually, that's precisely why I stopped participating here after posting about breasfeeding and circumcision using my actual name as my screen name. My son's mother wanted to cut of his foreskin and I was concerned that my continued posting here could be brought up in court (and somehow an attorney would find a way to use it against me). Thankfully, the case is over, we are divorced (it was a fradulent marriage, as she later confessed), and our dear son is still intact.

-Osioke

[wasabi]

My Dh has a marked lack of sensitivity. Pretty much the only way he can climax is through very vigorous BDing. Any other form of contact will not get the job done. He's also always described climaxing as a good thing but something he sort of doesn't get the big deal about. When we were discussing circing these were some of the issues I raised since I feel very strongly this is due to the circing. I've also had previous partners who I now realize had issues due to their circing. Like a penis that bowed upwards like a J basically or ones that leaned very sharply to the side. Neither of us knew at the time that this was almost definitely caused by circing vs just being how he was naturally. Anyway I'm saying all that to say that I believe he was resistant to the idea of not circing in part because he didn't want to examine what was done to him too closely.

[elf68]

{I can give you the link to the image, just to make sure you like it.}

I would like to see the copy. Thanks.

[osioke]

Originally Posted by wasabi

Anyway I'm saying all that to say that I believe he was resistant to the idea of not circing in part because he didn't want to examine what was done to him too closely.

That is an unfortunate reality: not wanting to understand a circumstance for fear that study may yeild an unpleasant truth, evil, and ignorance. Not a single male relative that I encountered wanted to examine the positive purpose of cutting the foreskin. When each one would posit a purpose for cutting, and I then presented (f)actual evidence to the contrary, their attempt to examine would transform into a horrid attempt to threaten the livelihood of my son or I.

I think such persons, who choose to play blind, although they reason otherwise, are a serious part of the problem. They reduce the intensity that should be afforded to eradicating this heinous act of cutting any part of the genitals. Nevertheless, with or without their support, the atrocity will one day cease even if solely by the efforts of those who choose to open their eyes and take action.

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by osioke

Not a single male relative that I encountered wanted to examine the positive purpose of cutting the foreskin. When each one would posit a purpose for cutting, and I then presented (f)actual evidence to the contrary, their attempt to examine would transform into a horrid attempt to threaten the livelihood of my son or I.

I think such persons, who choose to play blind, although they reason otherwise, are a serious part of the problem.

This is common of African women who have been circumcised and advocate circumcision for their daughters. Contrary to what the vast majority of Americans think, a minimum of 50% and up to 90% of African women support the procedure for their own daughters.



Frank

[LoveChild421]

My boyfriend doesn't seem overtly resentful he sort of "lets it go" but you can tell by his tone of voice and they way he says things that he really wishes his parents would have saved him from circumcision the way we are saving our son. He is worried about an increased risk of him becoming impotent and he wishes he could get back the sensitivity he knows he lost as a little innocent baby. He also has a very large scar (larger than any I've ever seen) and a very "tight" circumcision. He knows that the reason we have to use lube every time we have sex is because of him (which isn't a big deal but just a constant reminder of the altered state of his penis). I think he also knows that I prefer an intact penis even though I've never come out and said it to him because I don't want to make him feel bad (god he's already been mutilated)

I think he knows that the sexual problems we've experienced (him taking forever to orgasm) are due to the decreasing sensitivity of his penis.

But I think he's a lot more forgiving than I would be- I think I would feel a sense of neglect or something even though most parents were told back then that they had to get their sons circ'ed or it was just done without parental consent. I know he wonders if his parents consented to it or if it was just done...I would like to think it was "just done" because I don't want to view my in-laws negatively...

I just thank God that he is emotionally healthy enough to acknowledge the damage done to him and doesn't want his son to go through the same thing. That is truly rare.