A friend of ours invited DH (Jewish) & me. They knew how I felt. But it was a special occassion to them and wanted us there.

I didn't go. No way in heck. They understood and were fine with it.
DH went.

Fine by me.
As far as them needing "me" to be there supporting them, tish tosh... they had 10-20 people there already doing that.
If it was my best friend or sister, nope, not going. To turn it into a whiney "you aren't supporting me" thing is a manipulation.
If I were the OP, I would not attend. DH could still go alone if he wanted to. Hopefully DH's attendance (or lack of) won't affect his employment.
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