LAWD...I'm so tired after having read "the list." And let me give you some information that I know based on family experiences and based on my grandmother's experiences as a social worker and now as a foster mother at the age of 83.
These children are lucky to have you as a mother. There are a lot of children who are placed with foster parents who see the priviledge of helping to raise someone else's child as a business. Sometimes the kids are neglected in subtle and not so subtle ways. With black chilren, one of the first signs of neglect, especially in cold climated during the winter, is dry, ashy, skin, and neglected hair.
The bathing is excessive. Once a day is appropriate even for dry skin. May I suggest our rememdy growing up in Chicago (extremely cold and windy winters). Mix either vaseline or a vegetable based jelly with a dollup of greasy lotion (cheap is better) and slather all over the skin immediately after the shower. Literally, we were greased from head to toe during the winter. Especially on the back, buttocks (they can do it themselves), and waiste which were always rub points for clothes and irritate easily. It really helps. My kid is greasy all winter.
The hair. Take the boys to a barber and cut their hair short. IF there are not black barbers, go to Walmart and get a trimmer kit with guard and take it off. It makes life easier for them and you. My father and brother both use baby shampoo and wash their scalp/hair daily. they also follow-up with a moisturizer/oil depending of if their bald or have hair.
The girls: wash once a week. If you can get Dr. Bronners, use the almond oil shampoo, look for a simple conditioner like Nature's Gate and follow-up with almond oil on their scalp/hair or hair oil if you can't find anything natural. If you live near a university, try finding a black college student who is willing to corn row their hair once a month. Or check JCPenney's hair salon and see if there is a black stylist who is willing to see you at your home instead of in the salon. Natural black hair for little girls is high maintenance, but hair that's been relaxed it more difficult in the long run.
Gotta do mama duty...
Good luck,
Joey
These children are lucky to have you as a mother. There are a lot of children who are placed with foster parents who see the priviledge of helping to raise someone else's child as a business. Sometimes the kids are neglected in subtle and not so subtle ways. With black chilren, one of the first signs of neglect, especially in cold climated during the winter, is dry, ashy, skin, and neglected hair.
The bathing is excessive. Once a day is appropriate even for dry skin. May I suggest our rememdy growing up in Chicago (extremely cold and windy winters). Mix either vaseline or a vegetable based jelly with a dollup of greasy lotion (cheap is better) and slather all over the skin immediately after the shower. Literally, we were greased from head to toe during the winter. Especially on the back, buttocks (they can do it themselves), and waiste which were always rub points for clothes and irritate easily. It really helps. My kid is greasy all winter.
The hair. Take the boys to a barber and cut their hair short. IF there are not black barbers, go to Walmart and get a trimmer kit with guard and take it off. It makes life easier for them and you. My father and brother both use baby shampoo and wash their scalp/hair daily. they also follow-up with a moisturizer/oil depending of if their bald or have hair.
The girls: wash once a week. If you can get Dr. Bronners, use the almond oil shampoo, look for a simple conditioner like Nature's Gate and follow-up with almond oil on their scalp/hair or hair oil if you can't find anything natural. If you live near a university, try finding a black college student who is willing to corn row their hair once a month. Or check JCPenney's hair salon and see if there is a black stylist who is willing to see you at your home instead of in the salon. Natural black hair for little girls is high maintenance, but hair that's been relaxed it more difficult in the long run.
Gotta do mama duty...
Good luck,
Joey
There was no-one waiting in-line to adopt these kids excpet MIL and FIL...their babies spent 3 months in foster-care (thank-God for a loving and kind foster mother) before they were returned to my in-laws.
That is horrible.... 
