Dealing with the grief of a really bad birth experience.

[Alicea]

I did feel sorry for you at first, and then I read the comment you made about epidurals being a tool used by "lesser" women. Disgusting. I am so sick of this condescending attitude that so many people now have, that states that if you are somehow "crazy" enough to not want to feel your vagina being ripped in half that you are less then a whole woman. It is such a bogus philosophy. I had an epidural with twins and my labor was pain-free and rather wonderful. No, I do not have ANY problems with my back and my healthy nineteen month old twins are just that- healthy! I find it ironic that people who claim to be "opened minded" parents using the AP model can still look down their noses at those who "succumb" to pain medication. Perhaps if you had not been so close minded as to think that any women who uses an epidural is a failure, then you would not feel so horrible about your birth. Feeling like you failed can make anyone depressed. I do feel sorry for you that somewhere down the line you allowed yourself to fall victim to the ridiculous propaganda machine trying to make you believe that only an unassisted birth is acceptable. This ideology is cruel, untrue and worst of all it is ant-woman. I can't count all of the people I have known or talked to who have let this system make them feel like they are not real women. Shame on this way of thinking and shame on you for perpetuating it. "lesser women" my butt!