Kate I was babymooning
And somewhat avoiding this forum
Trying to come to terms with the afterbirth experience.
I had an awesome labor and waterbirth, despite having V here but after the babe as born I felt so attacked, intruded upon and violated. I'll write out the birth story and try to get the after birth horror in as well.
Saturday March 26 8 am I woke up to a dull back ache and a contraction. It felt a little different due to the back ache but I wasn't convinced it was anything more than more prodromal, after all it wasn't the 3rd quarter moon cycle lol as the morning wore on the back ache became very annoying, so much so I pulled out my last thermacare heatwrap.
11:30am I decided to call the mw and let her know what was up. I was thinking that by calling her for sure the ctrx would stop. But they continued on, very sporatically.
Decided to go for a walk with my friend who lives a few houses down. Didn't seem to do much but make my pelvis hurt so I came home and took a nap. I got about an hours worth before I was woken by a contraction. My 4yo & 2yo came to snuggle with me and suddenly i had 4-5 ctrx each 1 min apart. I was thinking "whoa this is going to go fast!" so I crawled out of bed only to have the ctrx space way out again.
4pm I decide we need to clean and put everyone to a task. I however sat myself on my birth ball & bounced. 4:30 I decide to call my friend M who really wants to see what a homebirth is like. She tells me she will be about an hour so I head back to my friend P's house for another walk around the neighborhood.
5:30 M catches up with us on our walk and has me walk a bit faster. Ctrx were still so very sporadic that I was beginning to think they would never level out into a pattern.
6pm I decide to walk a bit in the house as my ctrx are becoming a bit more intense but still sporatic. Then I got into my birth pool. Ahhhhhhhh it was so nice & warm, very relaxing but it made my ctrx slow down initially.
7pm my ctrx suddenly went from jumping all over the place to being 2 min aprt! I was so glad they finally got down to business and I knew at 2 min apart it wouldn't be long before she was born. We waited a few more ctrx before calling the mw. I wish I had waited a bit longer but hindsight is 20/20 as they say.
8:30 or so the student mw arrives followed by V and the asst mw whom I had never met before. The house was crowded but the 3 mw's pretty much kept to themself and away from me. In between ctrx I was laughing and cracking jokes, not even realizing I was entering into transition.
9pm the ctrx became very intense and I needed dh to apply counterpressure to my back. It felt so good having him do that. In between these ctrx I was feeling very nauseous. The student mw slipped behind me very quietlt and helped keep cool rags on my forehead & neck. I really was thankful for that as it helped cool me down and ease my nauseousness. I know during the last 2 hours I was in the bathroom rather frequently but this one a little after 9 brought on some bloody show and slight loss of plug.
9:15 or so I had to make yet another pee break from all the fluids I was drinking. I hated having to get out of the tub and sit on the toilet but it was better than peeing on myself! While on the toilet this last time the rest of my plug came out and *pop* my water broke. I came out of the bathroom with this big grin and told dh "well my plug is gone & my water broke!" So we started to walk back down the hallway so I could get in the tub. I barely made it 3 steps from my bedroom when I was seized by a mighty contraction. DH asked if I wanted to go back to the bedroom and get in bed or get back to the birth pool to deliver. During the contraction I stated simply that the baby was going to pick her own birth place. I felt her moving down and I am sure she was beginning to crown. Finally after the contraction passed I made my way back to the pool as quikly as I could. I wanted my waterbirth!
9:23pm I get into the tub and go to sit when I realize the baby is coming out right now! I am on my knees and trying to breathe thru the urge to push as I want her to deliver slowly as to avoid any tears. Baby on the other hand had different ideas and came shooting out of me like a bat out of hell! I barely had time to catch her as dh also reached down to give me a hand.
9:24pm Baby is here! I lay back in the tub as V unwraps the cord from her neck (this ticked me off as I was perfectly capable of performing that myself). I noticed she also had the cord around her body so I finished unwinding her.
Two of my boys starting yelling out, its a boy its a boy!! I just laughed at them and said Its not a boy you silly kids, its a girl! Sure neough she was
After a few moments the mw's started pressuring me to get out of the tub or the baby would get cold
I wasn't ready to get out but I started to and they told me I neded to deliver the placenta quikly. I was in no rush to deliver the placenta nor cut the cord but they became ver yinistent we cut it and get me out. I finally gave in after asking the baby if it was ok to cut her cord. Soon after I pushed the placenta out and felt it burn a little. I knew I had torn.
I get out of the tub and dry off to make my way back to my bed. This is where things get real hazy for me and where it seems everything really started to fall aprt. I was already irritated by how fast they wanted me out of the tub, cut the cord and deliver the placenta but coming back to the bedroom was horrible! I suddenly had people spreading my yoni trying to wipe away the blood and check for tears (I already knew I had a tear and planned to do as i would in a uc, keep my legs together and let it heal naturally) and during this time they are pressing on my uterus, taking my temp and blood pressure, you know all the "standard of care" crap. The asst mw wanted me to get babe to breast right away but I could tell she wasn't ready yet. The mw grabbed my breast and tried shoving it into the babys mouth all while I am being bombarded with other activites and questions such as what is the babys name. Like anyone would have time to come up with a name with all the crap they are doing! I told them several times we didn't have a name chosen yet and we needed to talk about but we were never given the space to do just that. The asst kept trying to force me to nurse and pressuring me into letting her show me some other positions to put baby in. I was getting furious, I know how to nurse, this is my 4th child! ARG!
Finally after what seemed like an hour long attack they left me alone and I was able to give baby over to dh while I went and showered. No sooner than I was out of the shower when they attacked again. This time it was to get babes vitals. Yeah all that stuff they said could be done while on my chest was done at the foot of the bed away from me. Baby just screamed her head off, not that I can blame her its exactly what I anted to do. DH wanted to grab them all and toss them out on their rears. He was really regretting having them there. He told me later he wanted to kick them out as soon as the baby was born, after all the "dangerous" part was over and he only needed them to be there for the "just in case" to avoid issues with his command.
I was never so relived when they all finally left. I don't think I felt that violated when i gave birth in the hospital. While I am thankful for having the labor and birth I wanted, as close to UC as one can possibly get with a mw in the house, the afterbirth was traumatic.
I have been very surprised by the long recovery period with this one. After my first UC I was up immediatley doing laundry and posting online, even out shopping the following day. This time however I was pretty weak and sore the first day after so I tried to spend much of it in bed, altho I did get up for an hour or so. Monday I decided I needed to do something around the house even tho i still felt weak. 30 min at the computer was enough to send me back to bed feeling lightheaded. But I ignored that and did some laundry. Well when I went to the bathrom after that I passed a huge clot that made me feel even worse. I put myself on strict bedrest after that. I still couldn't sit up for more than a few minutes n Tues. Wed was still weak but getting stronger. I could tell my iron was low and I needed to get it boosted quikly.
I did osmething I thought I would never do yesterday. But as they say drastic times call for drastic measures. I sent dh out for a blender and V-8 juice. While he was shopping I cut up about 1/4 of my placenta. I put the placenta, V-8, some chopped carrot and fresh lemon juice into the blender and sent it spinning. It took me about 15 minutes of staring at this "smoothie" to finally drink it. I felt almost instantly better but knew to keep myself in bed despite feeling better. This morning I woke up so refreshed and full of energy! Its truly amazing the healing powers of ones placenta. I am amazed at myself for being able to do what I did but I have to say i do hope I ever need to do it again :LOL
So here I am day 5 after the birth of my daughter. We have named her Rhiannon Elizabeth Sage C---. She was 7lbs 6oz and 19 1/4 in long. For such a tiny thing she sure did give me a few rug burns coming out. She is an awesome sleeper and excellent nurser. I however am dealin gwith the overactive letdown issue. Poor Rhi keeps getting drowned in my milk and has become the spit up queen. Hopefully my milk will settle down to a normal rate soon before we all end up drowned in breastmilk!
Well I have been up out of bed for 4 hours now, my bum is sore and I am getting tired so I had better get myself some lunch and head back to bed for the rest of the day.
I plan to let the mw know how I felt over all the activity that took place after Rhi was born. I think they need to know they are overly aggressive, overly intrusive and need to learn to back off more. I will get thru this part of the birth but it has certainly taught dh and I that UC really is the best and only way. Ok well I already knew that but now DH truly 110% knows and believes it. IF we ever have another I know it will be UP/UC all the way. I can definetly see now too how even having a mw homebirth can still send a mama running to a UC.
his name is gusset bodhi rezek b--- and he's amazing! everything went great and they are both healthy and doing wonderful. our babymoon has now been a week and it will probably go another. she's putting together a birth story that she'll (or i'll) put up at some point.
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: I was embarrased! Fortunately the list-sisters were supportive and congratulatory and waited until I was ready to talk about my devastating feelings over the birth and the details, etc. They were refreshingly honest but I needed time before I could deal with 'refreshingly honest'.
that modern medicalized birth causes trauma, that in the long run is our best interest to "get over". Truthfully, I'll never be "over it" regarding my first two boys' births. It was my experiences, I own them and the anger that arises from thinking about it at times, it's a part of my birth journey as a whole, it's a part of my drive and motivation to UC...I no longer feel the the most severe emotional effects, but I'll never forget it either. Otherwise I may well have gone through all that hell in vain and to completely get over it and be all hippie-dippie about it does a disservice to myself.
I thought we could talk about how "special" our UC babies are, and maybe post a few pictures. I have this great picture of Samaya with a hat that says "born to be Free"
CONGRATS!!! I look forward to reading your birth story.
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