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UC support thread #15 March 05 - Page 3

post #41 of 116

bs"d

Kinsey - My thoughts and prayers are also with you and your new, not-so-little dd.



~



mwherbs - I am located in Australia, and I believe I went to the state's main office (I live in the capital). I have heard it is "tricky" to register UCs here, but we shall see. The lady that was at the desk when I asked for the birth certificate packet seemed confused, leaned over to the man at the next window, and asked him what to do. He told her to go back somewhere and get the packet. She left and came back, asked when I was due, then replied that they could not give out the packet for a birth that isn't until July. I suppose she talked to someone "higher up" and get these instructions. That's when she said I should come back after the birth to "straighten things out." I considered calling and telling them the birth is closer or has already happened to get them to mail me the packet, but I don't like lying about it. I also didn't want them possibly "checking up on me," which is why I decided to go in person in the first place. In Australia, new parents are eligible for a $3000 one-time payment upon the birth of a child. Naturally, I would like to receive this payment. The payment must be claimed within 26 weeks of the birth, and I believe I must have the birth certificate to file the claim. Most people just attach a sticker from their midwife or hospital to the claim form. Anyway, you can probably see where this is going… I am just afraid that by the time I get the packet, then get one of my hcps to give me the required letter, then get them to give me the birth certificate, then get another office to accept the maternity payment claim form w/o the sticker, it will be too late to get the payment. Red Tape!! Arg!
post #42 of 116
Bugger. If that red tape ain't frusterating, I don't know what is! I don't suppose you know anyone else to help you get it? Like a midwife or OB who happens to be a friend? LOL. Good luck getting it! In Sweden, we get monthly payouts for each child until they are 16, I think. It's pretty cool. I'm a little concerned about that too, myself. In a couple weeks (baby dust here please!!) I hope to be preggers and will run in and chat with my prenatal care midwife. (Sweden most areas you have prenatal midwives, and then you go to the hopsital and deliver with the L&D midwives, OB if ya need C-section) I am hoping I can get all things done easily...

Edited to add that I got a VERY positive OPK test yesterday (tues) so now I just have to be patttttiiiiieeeeent. Yes, I can do that *cough cough*.
post #43 of 116
congrats Kinsey!
post #44 of 116
Yvonne -- I know how difficult it is to be patient during the 2ww! Sending baby dust your way!

Kinsey -- If I haven't congratulated you yet (can't remember, I'm so sleep-deprived), CONGRATULATIONS! I hope CallieAnne is recovering well and you're both enjoying your baby moon. Sending healing vibes to you. Give us an update when you get a chance.

Wanted to let Jennie and Sprinkle Pocket know that I'm thinking about you mamas. Sending gentle, loving birthing vibes your way. I miss you guys!

Brandi -- hope your mw appt went okay. Did you update us and I missed it?

Finn was 1 month old yesterday and it's so bittersweet. I can't believe how fast it's going and sometimes I'm so sleep-deprived I don't think I'm enjoying it to it's fullest. I'm trying to soak up every precious moment as much as I can.

Still have to write his birth story -- I think it'll good for for me.

Here are some recent pics (I won't keep the link up that long)
http://www.ourlittlehatchling.com

Love to all you mamas...
post #45 of 116
wow those pics are beatiful Katest! you look so radiant & Finn is such a cutie! I can't wait to read your birth story when you get a chance to write it!
post #46 of 116
Kate, Finn is so beautiful, and so are you! I'm curious, how did family and friends react to knowing that you did it unassisted?
post #47 of 116
Thread Starter 
Beautiful pictures Kate!
No updates, you did not miss anything. I have been too busy with unpacking and settling in to go and see her. I am feeling good just now. Belly is growing!! I am so hungry.
Off to have a snack and unpack some more
Brandi
post #48 of 116
Thanks, mamas!

Linda -- funny you ask about our families reactions...I may be getting ready to vent. After the initial shock and disbelief, everyone pretty much accepted it since it had already happened and there was nothing they could do about it. But I was totally unprepared for the hard time we would get for not being checked out by a doctor after the birth.

It was like no one would believe we were actually healthy and recovering well until a doctor said it was so. Neither my father or father-in-law were sleeping, dh's parents called every day asking about a doctor's appt, people were saying I NEEDED to see a lactation specialist (though Finn and I established a healthy bf relationship right away). It was okay for us not to have any "support" for the birth, but no one could believe we could handle the post-partum on our own. It really put a dent in our babymoon. Dh's parents even said they wouldn't come visit until we took Finn to a doctor (which would have been fine with me!) but we ended up lying and told everyone we were checked by my midwife.

Then dh's parents had the nerve to come down while his father was still getting over a bad cold! Finn managed fine, but I came down with a 101.8 fever and a breast infection (which I discovered mamas are vulnerable to when around others who are sick!). Thankfully, my mw told me exactly what to do to heal the breast infection but because of sleep deprivation, I've had a hard time fully recovering and have had 3 bouts of it now. Dh made is parents feel very guilty about that. GOOD!

We did end up having our mw come visit us 11 days after the birth and she checked Finn over and declared him thriving and alert. But our families still bring up "well-baby visits" and the issues of his "shots" every time we talk. It's maddening! I'm going to buy them all a book about the risks of vac's and tell them "we can talk about this after you read this or we won't talk about it at all."

Oh, and of course we've heard "You better not do uc with your next baby!"
My smilies don't work but picture all the irked and angry smilies here.

On a happier note, friends and acquaintances have been wonderfully receptive to our uc. Most think it is a fabulous, incredible story. It's so funny the reactions our birth story gets -- hugs from those who barely know us and tears from big, burly men. Hmmmm...Finn is asleep now. Perhaps I'll attempt our birth story right now.

Wondering if Jennie or Sprinkle are holding a sweet babe as we speak? Love to you mamas...
post #49 of 116

bs"d

I certainly hope they're holding their new babes, because there's no excuse for the lack of action around here otherwise! JK! :P Is it just me or is this the shortest UC thread we've ever had? Maybe it's because of the new forum, but I think it's because everyone who was chatting it up has gone babymooning.

Kate - The others are right-- those pics are beautiful. Enjoy. Sorry you've had to deal with everyone's issues with medical care, etc.

Yvonne - *Baby Dust* for you! In Australia, we get $ for children, too, but it's based on income. We qualify, but they will pay the back payments if we miss any so I'm not worried about that. When I first got pregnant, I e-mailed a hb midwife and told her I was planning a UC. I asked her if she would be comfy giving me advice should I need it. She never responded. To be honest, I was relieved, because I didn't want to risk being pressured into more prenatal care than I really wanted. I don't think it would be a good idea to ask the birth center midwives to fill out my papers for a UC. The birth center is in a hospital, and I don't think they'd go for it. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to myself.
post #50 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by BinahYeteirah
Yvonne - *Baby Dust* for you! In Australia, we get $ for children, too, but it's based on income. We qualify, but they will pay the back payments if we miss any so I'm not worried about that. When I first got pregnant, I e-mailed a hb midwife and told her I was planning a UC. I asked her if she would be comfy giving me advice should I need it. She never responded. To be honest, I was relieved, because I didn't want to risk being pressured into more prenatal care than I really wanted. I don't think it would be a good idea to ask the birth center midwives to fill out my papers for a UC. The birth center is in a hospital, and I don't think they'd go for it. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to myself.
Thanks Binah! Yeah , we get maternity money based on income as well.. it's more of a maternity leave though. Like the parents get to split 440 days of which 120 for each parent gets 80-85% of their income and the rest of the days at a fixed rate. It's for maternity leave, sick leave for the child, schooling them in to preschool and elementary school, etc. And each child gets a barnbidrag of 950kr a month until they are 16 years old. Kinda cool.

I can see why you didn't want to deal with it. It could have been very draining for you in that situation. I don't plan on telling the midwives I am pregnant when I go in, just ask to see how the system works. Since I am an immigrant, they probably won't think much about it, jsut that I am curious. (or so i can hope, eh?!)
post #51 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by BinahYeteirah
I certainly hope they're holding their new babes, because there's no excuse for the lack of action around here otherwise! JK! :P Is it just me or is this the shortest UC thread we've ever had? Maybe it's because of the new forum, but I think it's because everyone who was chatting it up has gone babymooning.
I was thinking that too. This is the shortest uc thread I have ever seen! But I htink with having the forum and being able to post other threads makes the difference, not that those threads are very active either.

I'm still round and with babe lol Not due until tommorow, still thinking its gonna be an April baby. My mil has been here since Friday so I haven't been online much at all. And this past week was just hectic anyways.

Kate--I would love to come down and meet you and Finn. I'm sorry to hear about your family. Sometimes ppl just can't understand that we do not need doctors for everything! I have been lucky with my family, but my dad is a big ol hippy and my MIL has learned to just not say anything lol
post #52 of 116
Hi I'm still here. I've been hanging out on the UBAC list alot latley since it's been slooow here.lol. for some reason I thought we'd see more activity with the new forum.

anywho,we are getting our doppler today (rental) so we will be listening to the baby's h/b for the first time today! I can't wait!

Katest.- I hear you about the vaxing issues. DH and I just tell our family it's not up for discussion. period.

yvonnemlv- keeping my : for you!
post #53 of 116

list traffic

Hi, it has been slow on this list and the forum as a whole. I had been hoping that it would be more active since I started out so new to the very idea of UC. Loving every second of it, but a bit out of my depth at first.

I feel for all of you who are fighting with family about your UB experience. I have to admit to being a coward. Last time with my son, I didn't even let my family know that I was having a homebirth. They still don't know–it helps that they live across the country and can't zip out to see me too quickly.

I'm using a doula this time, more because she is finishing up her training and needs one more birth than for any other reason. She's a good friend and she is just about the only person who knows I plan to UC. The only other person I have admitted this to is a casual friend whose husband was born by UC so her whole family is real open to it. Plus, she's the one who turned me on to MDC in the 1st place. I started out with a midwife who ended up being a MAJOR nightmare and while most people know I have fired her, they think I'm looking for a new midwife. At some point I'm either going to have to come clean or pretend that I have chosen a midwife.

In fact, anyone know how I can find out how to file a formal complaint against a midwife in Texas? I should have taken this step before, but I was too busy recovering from the trauma. The midwife's behavior was completely unprofessional, she became verbally and emotionally abusive towards me, AND she flat out lied to me when I confronted her about being unsupportive. The midwife's sister is/was a good friend as well as my acupuncturist who referred me in good conscience and I'm sure NEVER would have dreamed I would be treated so poorly (I say this because she is the complete opposite of her sister). But now I am being excluded from many gatherings that I used to attend with this acupuncturist and other friends we had in common. I have no idea what the midwife told them, and since she didn't hesitate to lie to me, I have to assume she told some real wingding lies to them as well.
post #54 of 116
Hi Mamas -- thanks for your sympathy regarding family issues. It does help.

Jennie! Good to "see" you. I hope you're still enjoying your pregnancy. We will definitely have to get together sometime soon -- we live so close!

Cresorchid -- How unprofessional and unconscionable! I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Bestof luck filing your complaint -- I can't believe you were verbally and emotionally abused by your former midwife! (((HUGS))) to you.

Rainbowmoon -- how exciting to hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time! Keep us posted.

Hi and Hugs to Binah and Yvonne (yvonne, are you going crazy yet?)

This is my favorite thread (and forum) and I'd like to see it more active too. So, here's something I've been thinking about since Finn's birth:
When people find out how we gave birth we get the inevitable "You sure were lucky everything turned out fine!" This makes dh and I mad because of all the research and mental preparation we did leading up to it -- we don't attribute our success to 'luck' at all. But...maybe a small part of me does.

You'd think having successful uc would make me believe having another one would be a no-brainer...but part of me thinks "can I get that lucky again?" And not just lucky with the birth, but lucky with the baby. Finn is so peaceful and content. He's never fussy, just sometimes restless. I keep thinking "how can I top this?" I know it sounds ridiculous. But I wonder if any of you other mamas have ever felt this way?

I can't help but think that the next time I get pregnant I'll have to talk myself into uc'ing all over again -- and that I'll be comparing everything to this first incredible experience.

Chances are I'm just overthinking this and I should just live in the present moment!

BTW, I started writing ChristoFinn's birth story yesterday and realized it will be a novel!! It may take me awhile!
post #55 of 116
DH came home at lunch so we could listen to the h/b! woohoo. at least we now know there's only 1 in there! (I was hoping for twins)

also I just found out my mom is likely coming when the baby is born! now we just have to figure out WHEN she should come so she won't miss the birth.

I know what you mean about luck KateSt. I've been thinking about that alot latley actually. is it really luck? or are we just lucky to not be birthing in the hospital?

cresorchard- I would maybe ask around on the midwife/doula board if nobody knows here. someone should know over there. I'm sorry you had a horrible experience at least you might be preventing it from happening to another mom if you can report her. I actually considered reporting my former mw (for breech of confidentiality) but never did.
post #56 of 116
Thread Starter 

checking in

Hello wonderful ladies
I am 17+ weeks now and we heard the heartbeat today. What a wonderful but so brief sound. Baby does not seem to like the doppler and kept moving out of the way. Makes me so happy to know we have such an active wee one in there! I am measuring just a tad ahead, which also makes me very much at peace because I measured so small with my dear angel baby.
I feel like a great weight has lifted today.
I am so hungry these days too. I just can't seem to eat enough!
That is all for now, eagerly waiting for the flutters to turn to kicks and rolls.
Many blissful birthing vibes for those of you about to meet your babes face to face.
Brandi
post #57 of 116
oh Brandi, s that's so wonderful to hear.
post #58 of 116
Kate--When ppl used to say "oh you were SO brave to have a UC" I would rpely with "No, this had nothing to do with being brave. It would have been more brave to birth in a hospital" I have gotten the "wow you were so lucky" comments too and I just nod and say no, luck was what I had in the hospital that my babes were ok despite the treatment we received.

Do I wonder if this one will go the same or better than the last one? Of course! But I wondered that with my hospital births too

Brandi--Thats so awesome you heard the hb!

Today is my duedate. I don't expect anything to happen today altho i did get some mighty good teasing yesterday form the babe. 6.5 hours of ctrx and then the stopped. I didn't say anything to anyone, even dh b/c I jus thad the feeling they weren't "real". I am getting so depressed tho! I have been much more hormonal with this one than other ones. Yesterday i just started crying for no reason! I ended up spending most of the day in my room trying to hide from everyone, especially after I blew up a tmy oldest
post #59 of 116
Oh, Jennie ((((HUGS)))) I'm sorry you've been so emotional -- and I know exactly how it feels hiding from others. So many times dh would ask me "what's wrong?" when I'd start crying and I'd have to say "I don't know, I'm just VERY pregnant!" I hope your sweet babe comes very soon. Continuing to send gentle, blissful birthing vibes your way. BTW, Saras came to see Finn and me 10 days after the birth and it was such a nice visit. She stayed 2 hours, gave him a newborn look-over and an Indian bath, helped us with the birth certificate, and ...didn't charge us a thing! She said we'd paid enough already, which is true. It was nice having her here as a "friend."

Brandi -- great news!!! And yay for measuring slightly bigger!
post #60 of 116

dumb question

what does UC stand for?
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