I wish I had heard the heartbeat

[Serenity]

I saw my midwife today at 9 weeks and she couldn't hear the heartbeat. After an exam, she determined it was because my uterus was tipped backwards and the baby is way back by my spine. Still I feel so devastated by not hearing it. I think its because when I miscarried in November it turned out to be a blighted ovum, no baby just the placenta. And I really want to know there's a baby in there now. thanks for listening.

[RachelGS]

I'm so sorry. I can imagine your fear. Would your mw help you get an early ultrasound to look? They're not always worth it, but I would sign on for one if I can't hear the heartbeat following my m/c. At some point, panic and grief are just not worth it to me.

[Czen:)]

Isn't 9 weeks to early to hear a heartbeart? I always think I'm doing good if I can hear it at 12/13 weeks. In fact one midwife told me shouldn't wouldn't even try to find it at 12 weeks if I would be one to worry about it if she couldn't find it yet.

I know it must be hard given your situation but I'm sure you'll hear it next visit. I'm sorry, I feel like its easy to say but not easy to wait.

Czen

[Serenity]

actually the midwife offered to send me for an ultrasound twice in our conversation but i really only wanted to get one at 20 weeks. but now i feel horrible and wonder if i should have just done it. i will be back to see her next week and can talk about it again. she said, otherwise everything seemed fine.

[memory maker]

I have a tipped uterus too. it was a long time with both of my kids to hear the heartbeat. it is frustrating, but it is normal if your uterus is tipped

[murray&me]

I am a Dr. person, not a mw person, and my uteris is also tipped backwards. I went in yesterday for an ultrasound and I saw the heartbeat without a problem. I am only 7 weeks and it was as clear as day. If you are at all concerned, you should definitely go for one. It will definitely ease your worries. Good luck.

[Bookworm]

When they heard the heartbeat on me at 8 weeks, the doctor insisted that there was no way I was only 8 weeks, because that was waaaay too early to hear the heartbeat. He (supposedly crunchy, the best I can do, sigh) insisted we do an ultrasound to find out what was going on, since they had never had a heartbeat heard at 8 weeks before. I went into pregnancy a tad underweight (well, actually normal for me) and he decided that was why they had heard the heartbeat. So don't despair, that is really soon to hear it, though I completely understand why you're disappointed. From my recent experience, though, it sounds like it is definitely NOT a bad sign!

[onlyboys]

It is very common not to hear the heartbeat as far along as you are. Focus on the positive, as much as you can.

Much love and light to you.

[moongirl]

I understand. I did have an US after my Bligted Ovum miscarriage, but I also understand why someone would want to limit US. (((hugs)))

[allgirls]

my midwife won't even try until 14 weeks...but after a loss like that I can understand your worry.

I am not one for multiple ultrasounds but I think peace of mind is very important for the baby and mom...maybe you can call your midwife and tell her you changed your mind

[Serenity]

thanks for your responses everybody. I know it is early and the midwife said my uterus seems the right size for 9 weeks. I don't know why I'm so upset. I guess I just had my heart set on hearing it and have been waiting all this time to be reassured. With ds I didn't hear the heart beat until I was 6 months along, because we only used the fetoscope and I was not concerned at all. I guess its just the miscarriage that has put a damper on this pregnancy--that innocence and trust in the process is gone.

[lovnbnhome]

Until I can actually feel the baby moving inside of me, I have always been nervous from appointment to appointment. It is a sort of scary feeling not knowing. Sorry you couldn't hear the heartbeat this time, but you will definitely hear it next time!

btw the heart starts beating around 21 days and can usually be heard early on around 6-7-8 weeks

[moongirl]

Originally Posted by Serenity

I guess its just the miscarriage that has put a damper on this pregnancy--that innocence and trust in the process is gone.

I can relate very much. With my first I never seriously thought there even might be a problem. I never worried. By the time my 2nd pregnancy (the blighted ovum) came around I was so much more informed about the whole pregnancy process that I had put total trust in my body. This time the trust feels shaken. Having known so many more women (I guess being in our 30's or close to them more problems are naturally more common) who have a varying difficulties in getting pregnant and staying pregnant, along with knowing what the loss of a pregnancy feels like.....well I just feel more timid and afraid and just want reassurance. I hope as my body begins to change and I feel less tired and less overwhelmed, the trust will return.

[RachelGS]

I understand too. I am sort of dreading my first mw appointment, just because I want some proof that everything is okay, and I know I'm not likely to get any. It's very hard after losing a baby to cruise ahead on faith alone.