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Small family poll - Page 2

Poll Results: What is your main reason for having a small family?

  • 15% (14)
    Concern for the environment
  • 15% (14)
    infertility or other health reasons
  • 11% (10)
    financial reasons
  • 16% (15)
    just don't have the emotional strength for more
  • 15% (14)
    want to give each child their own babyhood
  • 24% (22)
89 Total Votes  
post #21 of 27
I voted concern for the environment, which is primary, but it's also a quality of life issue. Both DH and I came from large families. I grew up in an Irish catholic area where everybody had big families. It sucked. I have 19 nieces and nephews. I see a huge quality of life drop in my siblings and in-law's families once the third child is added to the family.
post #22 of 27
Originally posted by mother_sunshine
We have one child. We are all 3 happy and we want to keep it that way. I feel it in my heart that having one child is the right choice for us. Environment and finances are part of the list of important reasons, but the main reason is that we are happy just the way we are.

Every now and then somebody plants the concern in my head that our daughter will come to resent us for not giving her a brother or sister to play with, but to me that is the most ridiculous reason to have another child. I look at our happy thriving child and know the answer. My daughter can have as many friends as she wants, and they are always welcome here. Plus I have friends whom I consider my sisters and am closer to than I will ever be with my brother (I don't hate him, we are just complete opposites).
Mother_sunshine, I cant believe that people tell you your dd will resent you for not giving her a bro. or sis. That is complete bunk! And ITA, an absolutely ridiculous reason to have another child if to only give your child a sibling.
post #23 of 27
I voted 'infertility and health reasons'. I really would like 2 more, but my body dosn't think it's such a good idea.
post #24 of 27
There are many reasons we will probably stop at 1, even though I ponder the question often.

I thought that after 3 days of labor and 10 hours of pushing through what turned out to be an oddly shaped pelvis, that my midwife would say Never Again. But when I asked her she said, Oh, the tracks have been greased!

What feels like one of the biggest reasons for not having more children also seems like one that shouldn't matter as much as it does. Many other courageous women in my position have gone on to have many more children, but I think I'd go crazy if I had to go through my low milk supply thing again. Call me weak. (I would not count on being able to breastfeed after a second pregnancy.)

The experience of ot being able to breastfeed as much as I would have liked, and all the associated junk, threatened to rob me of much of my enjoyment of Dd's infancy. I refused to let that happen but it was a tough battle. Now that Dd is almost 15 months old and my (essentially full time) efforts have resulted in a wonderful breastfeeding relationship, I would hate to cut it short by having another baby. After all we've been through, Dd loves to breastfeed, and I just can't see ending it before she is ready.

Sometimes I think I'm allowing myself to be doubly hurt by this, pain with Dd and not allowing myself another child because of it. But there are other reasons too. This one just looms as the largest.

Other reasons include, yes, the environment. Also I am the kind of person who has always focused on doing just a few things at a very high level. I worry that with more children I would feel spread too thin. I still hold Dd for all naps. I need a lot of sleep that I get by doing this. I want to continue this for as long as she is in need of this.

Our finances are comfortable at this family size, and to add to the family would mean more work hours for Dh. What's the point of having more children if he has to take more time away from home to feed them?

I've thought that after Dd weans herself I might be willing to consider another pregnancy, but I don't think I have many fertile years left.

But we are very happy. Our family is very cozy. I understand that love grows and I'm sure it would if we had another child, but right now I think it would be hard to be drawn away from Dd. Rather than have another child, we are concentrating on the one we have, reveling in her every moment. Dh thinks that Dd will consider her family so great that she'll never want to leave, and he hopes that is the case. I guess I worry that she'll feel so focused on, she'll choose the most distant college she can find and live in Europe for 10 years to get away from us.
post #25 of 27
We have one for now and plan on trying for a second when Maeryn is 3 or 4 years old. We would like more, but I will be in my mid-thirties at that point and can't see myself having a third or fourth child in my forties.
post #26 of 27
Every child needs tape!

(Time, Attention, Patience and Energy)

Yes, I know there are some mothers who can provide tape to a whole passel of very closely spaced children. I know some who can't. For that matter I know some mothers who don't have tape for even one child. . .

We both feel comfortable that we have the resources (internal!) to be good-enough parents to our two well-spaced children.

There IS a little bit of that zero-growth, environmental concern thing, too, though. . .

And of course (sarcasm alert) who wants to have to drive a mini-van?!
post #27 of 27
I voted other as none of the choices were the primary reason. All the choices exceplt financial were part of the reason though. I am soon to be 39 and dh is 44. We have a teenager and don't want to be raising kids in our 50's +. We want to retire and enjoy our lives together. And grandkids are something to look forward to. Overpopulation was a consideration for not having a large family (we wanted 2-3). But health (both dh and I have had life threatening illnesses since we had dd) and fertility were issues that caused us to have an only.
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