Hello! I'm not new to MDC, but I haven't posted much in the past couple years, and I am just sort of getting back into it. I'm due with my third child around 5/25. It's a boy. 
My first was born at 37 weeks, 6 days at a freestanding birth center with a CNM. She was 6 pounds, 10.5 ounces--fairly petite! My son was born almost 3 years later at the same birth center, with the same midwife. He was born on his due date and weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces. I had a fast labor with him, about half as long as the first. Otherwise, both labors were identical in that my water broke before contractions began, in the middle of the night, and I never really had much time to dwell on the "latent" phase of labor before things got really serious (transition). In other words, for me, labor is mostly all about transition and pushing.
Pushing. With both kids, it was the hardest part of labor. The first time, I pushed for just over 3 hours. The second time, around 1.5 hours. That still seemed like an eternity. Thankfully, my recovery the second time was even easier and I had only 1 stitch and not nearly as much swelling in my face or down below from the straining.
I'm nervous that I will face the identical labor situation as I've had previously and feel dejected, like I did during my son's birth, that I can't push the baby right out. I'm also nervous that I may face a totally different labor and birth and be in "uncharted" territory and not know how to handle it.
The concern at the forefront of my mind right now is my weight. i can't help but notice how fast I'm gaining, and my midwife is concerned about me growing a baby that is too big for my frame due to poor eating habits (sweets and fats!). She tends to be sort of alarmist about everything, and I realized today that I mostly get negative vibes from her, about what "could likely" happen if I go to the hospital, or if I don't eat right, or if I don't do my kegals, or if I don't drink enough water...etc.
The thing is, I have a guilt complex that is based at least somewhat reasonably in reality, because i know that i *do* eat stuff I shouldn't eat, and that I'm gaining so fast because I've been piggie (my butt and thighs are undeniable evidence of this...I will probably have to go up a size in maternity bottoms!!)
So, it's occured to me that I really need to change my outlook fast, so that I can be more positive for the birth. I really REALLY don't want to have all the worst-case scenarios, or even just negative feelings, running through my head as I'm approaching and going through labor and delivery. I have had 2 wonderful births with my children so far, and I want this one to be the best of them all, in which I can be at peace and really focused and most of all, happy.
Wow, this turned into a total ramble! I look forward to meeting some of you May moms.
Edited to add: how could I have forgotten to mention that I have had preterm contractions at 33 weeks with both previous pregnancies?! I was in the hospital a total of 3 times (with the second baby, I pushed the doctor to give me less drugs, and found myself back in there a week later with still persistent contractions--almost every 2 minutes). I am VERY familiar with terbutaline and the antepartum room and the stretcher-like "beds." And bed rest while carring for a toddler (read: near impossible). I SO don't want to go there again this time around. This obviously is a concern of mine as well, and I've been feeling more contractions than I would like in the last few days. That said, I'm heading for bed now. If anyone else has had this experience, I'd love to hear how your practitioner managed it and what your outcome was (preterm, or term baby?) I've heard of something called irritable uterus, but I don't know that I would qualify, since my contractions persist even when I'm lying down, resting, and completely hydrated.
My first was born at 37 weeks, 6 days at a freestanding birth center with a CNM. She was 6 pounds, 10.5 ounces--fairly petite! My son was born almost 3 years later at the same birth center, with the same midwife. He was born on his due date and weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces. I had a fast labor with him, about half as long as the first. Otherwise, both labors were identical in that my water broke before contractions began, in the middle of the night, and I never really had much time to dwell on the "latent" phase of labor before things got really serious (transition). In other words, for me, labor is mostly all about transition and pushing.
Pushing. With both kids, it was the hardest part of labor. The first time, I pushed for just over 3 hours. The second time, around 1.5 hours. That still seemed like an eternity. Thankfully, my recovery the second time was even easier and I had only 1 stitch and not nearly as much swelling in my face or down below from the straining.
I'm nervous that I will face the identical labor situation as I've had previously and feel dejected, like I did during my son's birth, that I can't push the baby right out. I'm also nervous that I may face a totally different labor and birth and be in "uncharted" territory and not know how to handle it.
The concern at the forefront of my mind right now is my weight. i can't help but notice how fast I'm gaining, and my midwife is concerned about me growing a baby that is too big for my frame due to poor eating habits (sweets and fats!). She tends to be sort of alarmist about everything, and I realized today that I mostly get negative vibes from her, about what "could likely" happen if I go to the hospital, or if I don't eat right, or if I don't do my kegals, or if I don't drink enough water...etc.
The thing is, I have a guilt complex that is based at least somewhat reasonably in reality, because i know that i *do* eat stuff I shouldn't eat, and that I'm gaining so fast because I've been piggie (my butt and thighs are undeniable evidence of this...I will probably have to go up a size in maternity bottoms!!)
So, it's occured to me that I really need to change my outlook fast, so that I can be more positive for the birth. I really REALLY don't want to have all the worst-case scenarios, or even just negative feelings, running through my head as I'm approaching and going through labor and delivery. I have had 2 wonderful births with my children so far, and I want this one to be the best of them all, in which I can be at peace and really focused and most of all, happy.
Wow, this turned into a total ramble! I look forward to meeting some of you May moms.
Edited to add: how could I have forgotten to mention that I have had preterm contractions at 33 weeks with both previous pregnancies?! I was in the hospital a total of 3 times (with the second baby, I pushed the doctor to give me less drugs, and found myself back in there a week later with still persistent contractions--almost every 2 minutes). I am VERY familiar with terbutaline and the antepartum room and the stretcher-like "beds." And bed rest while carring for a toddler (read: near impossible). I SO don't want to go there again this time around. This obviously is a concern of mine as well, and I've been feeling more contractions than I would like in the last few days. That said, I'm heading for bed now. If anyone else has had this experience, I'd love to hear how your practitioner managed it and what your outcome was (preterm, or term baby?) I've heard of something called irritable uterus, but I don't know that I would qualify, since my contractions persist even when I'm lying down, resting, and completely hydrated.
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