Help Adina get Pregnant ad - Page 2

[pamamidwife]

fugghettaboutit

[BinahYeteirah]

bs"d

To anyone who is anti this ad: Are you also against any soliciting for donations? (I am unclear about MDC policy regarding this, since it seems threads such as the "Christmas Needy/Helper Thread" have been tolerated year after year.) One always has the choice not to donate/participate. It is likely most of those who have donated know Adina or have been touched by her in some way. This was just a way to mobilize all the many individuals who know and love Adina at MDC to do something nice for her. I can't see what is wrong with that, especially when Adina is not the one who bought the ad space. I can see why many would be worried that someone receiving $$$ online is an imposter, but, again, no one is being forced to donate. Adina has a number of friends at MDC who are also her IRL friends. Those who have known her (IRL and online) probably feel that helping her is worth the risk. What if it was an ad soliciting donations for some other cause, like a homeless shelter or something?

[Sustainer]

Originally Posted by Arwyn

As someone previously mentioned, the wording is such that they were unsure whether money or sperm was being solicited. It's a double entendre, and is usually used (again, in a joking manner) to solicit sex; in this case, to solicit help with IVF funds.

You mean it's actually worded that way on purpose because it's *supposed* to bring to one's mind the idea of soliciting sex?? Um, okay. Thank you for explaining the "double meaning" (though not exactly a pun).

[Lousli]

I am one of the people who came up with the idea for the ads, donation page, etc. Adina not only is a moderator, but an active participant in the trying to conceive forum. When I was trying to conceive the baby I'm now holding in my arms, Adina was incredibly helpful and supportive. She always gave great advice, and never had anything but kind words for me, and countless others who asked her opinions. She offered hearty congratulations when I succeded in becoming pregnant, even though she herself was still struggling with infertility.

Originally, the idea was for a few of us to get togther to help pay for her to get a second IUI after the first one failed. Then it turned out that she was able to find the resources to do so on her own. The idea dropped for a while. When it became clear that IVF was needed, the idea resurfaced, as IVF is quite expensive. Some of us got together and started the ball rolling.

Although I can understand that if you don't know Adina, you aren't likely to donate, I hope that you won't be offended when you understand that this was something that we convinced her to do, not something she asked us to do for her. She truly has helped so many people, and many of them want to give back. This is a way of getting the word out to people who's lives she has touched.


And the double entendre of the ad is meant to be lighthearted. It almost said, "Get Adina pregnant!" which I'm sure would have been even more shocking to many. It certainly was never meant to offend, just to grab the attention, and hopefully create more interest.

[dharmama]

Another TTC grad who is VERY happy to support Adina in any way that I can!!!

I TTC'd for 10 mos and Adina was there supporting me month after month. My DD is now 9 mos old and we're starting to talk about TTC #2 so I will back in the TTC forums being supported by the amazing "obnoxiously positive" Adina.

I can see if you are new to these boards and haven't had the pleasure of interacting with Adina why you might find the banner to be odd, but I'm telling you, if you hung out on the TTC boards, you'd probably have a siggy link like me!!

When I saw the banner ad I was like.... YAY!! Finally...there is something I can do...besides hope and pray...for Adina!!

[our veggie baby]

I am sure she is a great gal and everything and I wasn't offended at the ad at all...actually, before I even clicked on it (which wasn't until this thread) I kind of had an idea what it was about so I wasn't bothered.

That said, I wouldn't donate...not because I think she's an imposter or anything, but because I would hesitate to help someone bring another human being into the world unless I KNEW, I mean with SOLID proof, that she would be the kind of parent that I would be comfortable with supporting financially and emotionally with respect to giving my money to help her conceive kwim? I know people here can vouch for her and that is great, but at the end of the day I don't have a clue as to how she would raise this human being, with what philosophies, beliefs, behaviors, discipline etc....and I am real sketchy about that yk?

That said, I do wish her luck and just wanted to post and say that I wasn't offended by the ad...

[dharmamama]

Ok, two things: I clearly posted the wrong link (I had sent that link to my husband to run off a giraffe picture for our daughter) and I didn't know Adina was a moderator here.

However, I still think that the ad is in poor taste. That's just my opinion, no one else has to agree with me.

ICM, I take great offense to your questioning my value system just because I don't think MDC should be soliciting members for money to pay for someone's fertility treatments. I think you overstepped your bounds with that comment.

Sorry I even posted this.

[Yin Yang]

Originally Posted by dharmamama

ICM, I take great offense to your questioning my value system just because I don't think MDC should be soliciting members for money to pay for someone's fertility treatments. I think you overstepped your bounds with that comment.

Sorry I even posted this.

This is what happens here every time you post your opinion. No matter if it's good or bad. That's why I don't like posting my opinions any more on MDC, only questions. Sad but true. I am sorry you got offended.

and by the way, I too find that ad weird.

[splendid]

Seriously, I know you meant no harm you were curious and wanted information, but I wish you didn't either.

You are always entitled to your opinion. Its just sad because when you do post your opinion (regardless of where you sit) then everyone else comes out of the woodwork and start saying mean things for something for something very innocent. Then the ball rolls and you see a lot of true colors.

Ah well, group hug.

[dharmama]

dharmamama (did i get all the mamamas in there? )

I'm glad you posted it your feelings - even though I have a different opinion. I'm sure you weren't the only one feeling the way you do. Personally I think it's better to get things out on the table and talk about them.

[Shorin_Mama]

Remember, having an opinion does not mean that everyone (or even anyone) will agree with you. If people disagree with you, so be it.

That being said, I was so happy to see the link to help Adina here on MDC. I had donated before I even saw the link here so it was a bit of a surprise when I saw it. I do understand how people who are unfamiliar with Adina's story and contribution to MDC might be confused or offended. Please trust that Adina has done so much for so many of us that we would jump at any opportunity to help her.

Month after month she supports people who are TTC. Month after month she congratulates people when they find out they're pregnant. Month after month she does this while her own struggle goes on. She does not complain, she does not pull back. She continues giving of herself. So many of us have benefitted and wondered how she had the strength. Now we finally have a way to pay back some of that strength.

Please trust us when we say we owe Adina more than what a simple donation will compensate.

Jess

[dharmamama]

I want to make clear that my feelings about whether MDC should solicit donations for staff or members' personal needs has nothing to do with Adina or any other member, personally.

I am not "down on" Adina, and I don't have anything against her. I don't even know her. I'm sure Adina is a wonderful person who has helped many people here, but that's not the point. My feelings are based solely on the issue of MDC soliciting money from members, not on Adina personally.

Namaste!

[splendid]

Originally Posted by dharmamama

I want to make clear that my feelings about whether MDC should solicit donations for staff or members' personal needs has nothing to do with Adina or any other member, personally.

I am not "down on" Adina, and I don't have anything against her. I don't even know her. I'm sure Adina is a wonderful person who has helped many people here, but that's not the point. My feelings are based solely on the issue of MDC soliciting money from members, not on Adina personally.

Namaste!

But MDC isn't soliciting money. Or am I misunderstanding what you meant? I think I am getting hung up on your usage of MDC.

It was random members that bought the ad not MDC staff members/volunteers. Or is your question should other members be soliciting money for other members using MDC.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by dharmamama

I want to make clear that my feelings about whether MDC should solicit donations for staff or members' personal needs has nothing to do with Adina or any other member, personally.

I am not "down on" Adina, and I don't have anything against her. I don't even know her. I'm sure Adina is a wonderful person who has helped many people here, but that's not the point. My feelings are based solely on the issue of MDC soliciting money from members, not on Adina personally.

Namaste!

Were you around for the needy mama/helping mama thread around the holidays? I highly suggest you check it out- it might give you a feeling for how the community here supports one another.
http://69.20.14.30/discussions/showt...ght=needy+mama

[Sustainer]

I think that the OP is correct to draw a distinction between members posting threads or putting links in their sigs and MDC actually choosing to host a particular banner ad.

I also don't think the OP has indicated that everyone should agree with her or that she has a problem with disagreement. She has been met with more than simply disagreement.

[mum2tori]

I have nothing against Adina and her struggle. I want to make that PERFECTLY clear.

I am having a problem with a couple double standards I see expressed in this thread.

Particularily the "if you don't like the ad, don't click on it".

Recently there was a heated discussion against another ad. Several people didn't like the ad, and it was decided that the ad would not be renewed. In particular it was an image that disturbed many people, NOT what the intention of the website was, which was actually in line with the MDC value... helping support families in times of need. Why wasn't the attitude "if you don't like the ad, don't click on it" then? This paticular ad "benefits" a single MDC member, the other ad "benefits" a large group of MDC members.

And *why* does it automatically mean someone isn't supportive of something when they ask a question about it? And *why* do some seem to take pleasure in making it appear that someone is mean because they ask a question in the question and suggestion forum??

[Lousli]

Originally Posted by dharmamama

I want to make clear that my feelings about whether MDC should solicit donations for staff or members' personal needs has nothing to do with Adina or any other member, personally.

MDC is not soliciting donations for Adina. The banner ad was created by and *paid for* by individual memebers of the MDC community. We asked if they would host the ad, and they decided that it did not violate any advertising policies, so they did.

I'm a little curious where they problem is coming from. I'm sure it would be okay with most people to have an ad for a charity at the top of the page. Say an ad for tsunami relief, or to fund reseacrh for diabetes. Is it because this isn't an organization? Because we're asking for help for just one person? Because that person is a moderator here?

I can see some feeling of, "Why her, why not all the other needy moms? Why is that fair?" I guess that if other people wanted to put together donation websites, and banner ads linking to them, they could go through the same process as we did, and ask for MDC's permission to host the ad. It doesn't seem unfair to me, just that no one else has tried it yet.

I also see the issue being about someone's "personal needs." There seems to be a very "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" kind of philosophy in the United States. Something along the lines of if you can't afford it, you don't deserve it. Maybe some people feel that fertility is much too personal to be asking for help with. I don't know. I just think that this is where community starts. Some of us saw a need, and wanted to help fufill it. I don't understand why that is offensive. If I could do the same for all the needy moms on MDC, I would. I can't, but this is a start, it is something I can do to help. What could possibly be in poor taste about that?

[AdinaL]

I am going to solve this problem right now.

I am going to ask that MDC pull the ad. And that Lousli and chiromama remove the link from their signatures.

I never wanted this to turn into something about who is more deserving, and who isn't and why I get to have this ad and why someone else doesn't. I have a hard enough time accepting help for anything (ask my husband! :LOL) that this just makes me feel like crap constantly, and people feeling upset that I was allowed to have this ad (I didn't solicit this, other people did on my behalf) just makes me sad.

Thank you to everyone who donated, who has been so kind,and for all the kind PMs I have received. I can't even tell you how much I appreciate them and how much I love this community.

[dharmama]

I am going to ask that MDC pull the ad. And that Lousli and chiromama remove the link from their signatures.

You didn't say anything about me...does that mean I can keep my siggy link!!??

[AdinaL]

Ack!!! You aren't supposed to have one anyway! :LOL Only two people per month were allowed to carry it in their siggys...: So yes, I mean you too.