Help Adina get Pregnant ad - Page 4

[Harper]

Adina:

I love MDC so much but some days I just can't believe the stuff that comes out of people's mouths. Think before you type...

[chiromama]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

Wouldn't it be up to whoever paid for and ran the ad to pull it or not?

regardless, I think it's been made quite clear that the people posting about the appropiateness of the ad are questioning ads of this type. The issue is are ads of this type appropriate on MDC. It doesn't matter if it's for Adina. After all we hopefully have consistant rules and decision making, right?

I am continually astounded by posters that insist on making things an us vs them argument instead of being able to engage in discussion over concepts.

Several posters did make this about Adina, not just about the concept. That's why we're defending her. Someone purposefully called into question her 'parenting philosphies'.

[flminivanmama]

:cry

this thread is very disenheartening. I have followed Adina's story since the beginning - checking her sig and website for more 2 years now. Adina you deserve a baby as much as anyone else and you will make an awesome mom, don't let anyone's thinking outloud (that probably should NOT have been thought outloud) make YOU question that.

when *I* saw the ad it made me smile and cry at the same time. Adina, whether she knows it or not has made an impact on my life, and obviously others around her as well.

Not only was impressed by the idea of the site but I put the ad in my sig of a private board I am an admin of.

Frankly I'm surprised that the ad was even found questionable.

[Arduinna]

why is this one particual ad not allowed to be discusses in your opinion. Note that 1 CM hasn't yanked the thread for any rule violations, 2 that there have been many thread discussing the appropriateness of ads.

this one is no different.

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by chiromama

Several posters did make this about Adina, not just about the concept. That's why we're defending her. Someone purposefully called into question her 'parenting philosphies'.

[Johanna]

I am absolutely shocked. I can't believe this. The add was paid for.. and not BY Adina. I know she had her reservations about the whole thing but her loving, caring friends decided to intervene and give a tiny fraction of the love Adina gives daily, back to her. They paid, with their money, not Adina's to have an ad put up. It was a way her friends could give back to her and help give her the one thing that her heart hurts for. As for the wording? It was a way to try to look on the depression subject of infertility as lightheartedly as possible. Did you see a sexual inuendo? I certainly did not. Not for a fraction of a second. Makes me wonder what's going on in your minds? Good thing no one judges anyone's worthiness of having a child, huh? I mean, honestly, this makes me sick. Infertility comes with so many feelings of unworthiness and insecurty. Thank you everyone who made someone I am PROUD to call my friend feel like crap! NO, really.

You know what? I don't agree with every ad I see here. But its not like MDC is selling diapers or trying to fund anything. They are helping run this wonderful site that YOU participate in I'm sure multiple times a day. They just have to make sure its not against their values. And since when is it against their values that someone has an IVF. And if MDC is against friends helping their friends who are going through a heart wrenching time then I'm out of here! But they're not. They're supportive and so am I. Quite frankly I'm disgusted by the fact people are being so critical of someone who did no crime but accept help from friends.

As for Adina. For those of you who don't know her I'll give you a quick bit of info about her. She's amazing. She is a moderator (not just a participant) of a parenting board even though she yas not (YET) had a child. She is hurting inside to have a baby and every day she comes to a bulletin board where people are having babies all around and offering the support. She can't go off and lurk as a moderator. She is always an active participant. She doesn't tell people to go away because she's not in the mood to hear about their positive pregnancy test. She's right there and supportive and virtually holds a thousand or more hands through a really difficult time we call infertility. Who's holding her hand? Who's boosting her morale? Who's helping her? She never even asked for help. I am just seething over the fact that when some people decided to step up to the plate and give a little back that she gets shot down because of what YOU perceive as a rude ad. I thought it was amazing from the start. I am just......... grrrrrr......... very disturbed by this, to say the least.

I better stop now.. I'm just getting more mad. Thank God I believe in Karma. You'll learn.

[Arduinna]

I'm surprised that you all assume that it's something personal against Adina. I happen to be friends with Adina too, I have known her for about 2 years, we have discussed our shared fertility issues privately many times. I support her 100%.

That doesn't change the ability of the members of MDC to discuss ads.

[AngelBee]

This thread will be pulled I am sure

[Arduinna]

if it gets pulled it won't be because we aren't allowed to discuss advertisments. As I already posted, see the numerous threads here that discuss them

[Johanna]

No, people are free to post their opinions. But I just thought it good manners to consider someone else's feelings when voicing those opinions... Oh, crap! I FORGOT! This is the Internet. None of us are real or have feelings!

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

if it gets pulled it won't be because we aren't allowed to discuss advertisments. As I already posted, see the numerous threads here that discuss them

I didn't say that was the reason.

The thread has questioned her character regarding her ability to parent. That I do not believe is allowed.

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by Johanna

No, people are free to post their opinions. But I just thought it good manners to consider someone else's feelings when voicing those opinions... Oh, crap! I FORGOT! This is the Internet. None of us are real or have feelings!

That is what upsets me. There is a tackful, respectful way to discuss everything.

[famousmockngbrd]

Arduinna, surely you can see that this is not your usual ad. We're not talking about a business or a product, we're talking about a *person* and her struggles to conceive. So it's inherently personal, in a way normal ads are not.

I am not in favor or silencing anybody - I am not saying we can't tal about this ad, that it's somehow untouchable or above reproach. But there has been a serious lack of tact and compassion shown in the way it has been discussed. Like I said, we're talking about a real person and her problems here, not a diaper.

[annettemarie]

OK, now I am confused
Darn it, Ardiunna, once more, you are making me THINK.
Is the issue that people feel this ad has somehow violated the ad guidelines?
Because I looked, and didn't see that it violates the guidelines in any way.
http://www.mothering.com/mdc/natural..._advertise.htm
It does say that it needs to conform with the web statement of purpose shown here
http://www.mothering.com/mdc/web_sta...ofpurpose.html
But again, I see nothing contradictory.
There is a difference between what is/is not allowed in advertising and what is/is not allowed in posting on the boards.

AngelBee, I am confused where you have gotten the impression that we are not allowed to discuss ads. We have many times, and have affected change when there have been ads that did violate the web statement of purpose.

When the OP stated

In fact, I have been bothered by several ads recently, but I find an ad that leads to a personal webpage that solicits donations to be rude.

I suppose I did take it as an us vs. them argument.

[AdinaL]

Given that the ad is about me, links to a page that I made and this thread is discussing me, I think I have the right to ask for it to be pulled. And since I have been in pretty constant contact with chiromama and Lousli who got it up in the first place, they know how I feel.

You are very right that it doesn't matter if the ad is about me or not - chiromama and lousli followed the rules in placing an ad and paid for it just like everyone else. The decision making was fair and in line with the rules. It isn't like the ad was sneaked past Cynthia somehow without approval.

I didn't mean to make it an us v. them kind of thing. Not my intent. When chiromama and lousli came to me about the ad - i was kind of weirded out about it - not being the type to ask for help. I decided that if ANYONE was bothered by it, or thought it was wrong or thought whatever....that I would ask for it to be pulled. So, no, I didn't mean for it to be an us v. them mindset. I am not angry with anyone - people feel the way they feel. I feel uncomfortable being discussed like this. I feel uncomfortable with anyone being upset/irritated/offended with this ad. But I also don't feel the need to put myself out there to be criticized if I don't have to. As for people defending me - we all get defensive of our friends. I am happy that I have that many friends.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by AngelBee

I didn't say that was the reason.

The thread has questioned her character regarding her ability to parent. That I do not believe is allowed.

and in that case you report the offending post, that doesn't need to result in a thread being pulled.

[Johanna]

I know! Why don't we do away with all the ads and start paying to be here? What? You wouldn't like that? Ever heard the saying "you can't please everyone all the time?" Well, you can't. But you can control yourself and not make someone feel bad. You CAN control that.

[famousmockngbrd]

Anyway - personally I think this discussion should end, I feel like the longer it goes on the crappier Adina will feel. So I won't be posting on this thread any longer.

Adina - I'm sorry your feelings were hurt.

[AngelBee]

Annettemarie....not pulled because of discussing advertising.

I was under ther impression that we were not aloowed to slander/talk badly about other community members.

Questioning her ability to parent I think should be grounds for removal.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by famousmockngbrd

Arduinna, surely you can see that this is not your usual ad. We're not talking about a business or a product, we're talking about a *person* and her struggles to conceive. So it's inherently personal, in a way normal ads are not.

ok well my logical boy brain (reference to a quiz I took) says that there are two issues that effect this. One the ability of people to usually seperate themselves personally from a situation and also that rules should be consistant.

I'd like to point out that the post that everyone seems to be up in arms over the poster never said that she personally questions Adinas ability to parent. She said that she doesn't know her and as such wouldn't feel comfortable giving money to someone when she doens't know how they would parent.

Not the same thing. *oh sorry if that seems OT to your post*