I just can't seem to get "it" together. and I just need to vent. About 3 weeks ago I decided I might have postpartum. I was feeling like I was 1/2 there, and forcing myself to "enjoy" things I enjoyed before. I mean my house was a disaster, and I didn't even care. I am a super neat freak too. I just felt different and not happy at all. I tried to pull myself out for about at least a month, and nothing was working. I just kept thinking, I need to do it, just get up and DO IT. Physically I just could not make myself do things like the dishes. I finally got up the nerve to call my doc. I didn't want to take meds at all, b/c of having to depend of something. I just felt it was a weakness. But she explained to me I could get back off of them, and it wasn't my fault, etc. Which made me feel better to a degree, I still hate that I can't get over the hump on my own.
Anyway, I have been taking zoloft for about 2 1/2 weeks now, and don't notice a change. I feel like I have "good" (motivated) days and bad ones. Sometimes good hours and bad. I can't seem to get anything done. I feel like I'm neglecting my kids and for sure my house. dh comes home to a disaster. I would usually have the house clean, candles going, and dinner made. I need to do so many things and I just can't. I just want to lay down and watch tv. Like right now, I need to do the dishes, laundry, pick up, get the kids dressed, and lay ds#2 down. along with everything else. I feel like I'm being swallowed by all the things I need to do, and they keep piling up. Every night I think all I need is a fresh start, and it just doesn't matter, I can't get on top of this. I feel so lazy, but I'm just to tired to care. I am the type of person that has always felt that positive thinknig can do so much, just get up and get it done. kwim? Now I'm a lump on a log.
What is really wierd is that when dh was gone on a biz trip last week, my house was clean, I did lots of stuff with the boys, etc. My dh is great, and helps me out so much, so I can't understand why I was so motivated when he was not here.
thanks for listening if you have made it this far. I just want to know I'm not alone, and I will be normal again.
:
Anyway, I have been taking zoloft for about 2 1/2 weeks now, and don't notice a change. I feel like I have "good" (motivated) days and bad ones. Sometimes good hours and bad. I can't seem to get anything done. I feel like I'm neglecting my kids and for sure my house. dh comes home to a disaster. I would usually have the house clean, candles going, and dinner made. I need to do so many things and I just can't. I just want to lay down and watch tv. Like right now, I need to do the dishes, laundry, pick up, get the kids dressed, and lay ds#2 down. along with everything else. I feel like I'm being swallowed by all the things I need to do, and they keep piling up. Every night I think all I need is a fresh start, and it just doesn't matter, I can't get on top of this. I feel so lazy, but I'm just to tired to care. I am the type of person that has always felt that positive thinknig can do so much, just get up and get it done. kwim? Now I'm a lump on a log.
What is really wierd is that when dh was gone on a biz trip last week, my house was clean, I did lots of stuff with the boys, etc. My dh is great, and helps me out so much, so I can't understand why I was so motivated when he was not here.
thanks for listening if you have made it this far. I just want to know I'm not alone, and I will be normal again.
:
mama, you're not alone.
