I've raised my kids in an openminded fashion. Tried to teach them that we can talk about stuff, not be embarassed, etc. But my 12 year old daughter (who up until about 1 year ago was just the sweetest little thing you could ever imagine) has absolutely SHOCKED me twice in the last two days (not bad, but boy I'm not sure I'm really ready for this open parenting stuff I thought I was).
We were in the car after my daughters' Reading Classic competition (both my girls do it) and going through Dairy Queen drive thru for a treat. My mother was driving. And someone said a word that sounded similar to condom and my mom (!!!) said, "Boy, don't want to mispronouce that word." And we all laughed, and then my daughter in question says, "Oh grandma, you don't know embarassing until you are putting away the groceries (that's one of her chores) and you come across Mom and (my dh's) condoms!"
Ack! That's my mother she said that too! LOL
Then today, I was chatting with her, one of her friends that spent the night, and her younger sister. Her sister (10) has the school "presentation" coming up (they call it a health fair now.. LOL) and was whining about not wanting to go. And I said (intending to be shocking myself), "Well they are just going to talk about boobs and periods. (Oldest dd) told me that in middle school they have to learn about the boys too." And then (oldest dd) chips in with, "Yeah, we had to learn about wet dreams too." I have to admit it, I screamed. I said I can't believe you said that out loud! (not mad or anything, but OMG. I can't even imagine a circumstance where I would've had that convo with my mom.)
I'm not saying any of the above was bad, just... shocking. I don't think I'm ready for pre-teens/teens. And call me sexist (cause it is, i'm working on it) I've had mature conversations with my son (almost 14) and it doesn't bother me at all! What is it about daughters that makes (some of) us want to pretend they are little perfect ballerinas and nothing will ever make them grow up?
We were in the car after my daughters' Reading Classic competition (both my girls do it) and going through Dairy Queen drive thru for a treat. My mother was driving. And someone said a word that sounded similar to condom and my mom (!!!) said, "Boy, don't want to mispronouce that word." And we all laughed, and then my daughter in question says, "Oh grandma, you don't know embarassing until you are putting away the groceries (that's one of her chores) and you come across Mom and (my dh's) condoms!"
Ack! That's my mother she said that too! LOL
Then today, I was chatting with her, one of her friends that spent the night, and her younger sister. Her sister (10) has the school "presentation" coming up (they call it a health fair now.. LOL) and was whining about not wanting to go. And I said (intending to be shocking myself), "Well they are just going to talk about boobs and periods. (Oldest dd) told me that in middle school they have to learn about the boys too." And then (oldest dd) chips in with, "Yeah, we had to learn about wet dreams too." I have to admit it, I screamed. I said I can't believe you said that out loud! (not mad or anything, but OMG. I can't even imagine a circumstance where I would've had that convo with my mom.)
I'm not saying any of the above was bad, just... shocking. I don't think I'm ready for pre-teens/teens. And call me sexist (cause it is, i'm working on it) I've had mature conversations with my son (almost 14) and it doesn't bother me at all! What is it about daughters that makes (some of) us want to pretend they are little perfect ballerinas and nothing will ever make them grow up?
) and I see so many girls who don't know nearly enough and are being taken advntage of because of it. Teach them now all about their bodies, ther choices, about sex being a wonderful thing that should be pleasurable for them. There is nothing shameful or negative about safe, consentual sex and we need to make sure our kids know that so they don't end up making mistakes. When I ws 15 my mom was telling ne about oral sex, about making sure I had orgasms too, etc. and I think she really had the right appraoch. She was the one who was shocking me! and it meant I NEVER felt like I couldn't talk to her about something.
