So am I the only mama who feels

[Dechen]

in over her head is this forum?

I love to think about discipline, and I love to hear what other people think. So I spend a lot of time reading posts in here.

I'd love to post more, but I inevitably feel naive when I do so - there's so much complexity and things I've never considered in depth.

I need to get over my fear of saying something stupid or poorly thought out, because how else will I further my own thoughts if I don't engage?

Trying to come out of --> :

[our veggie baby]

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed too and I tend to get defensive when I percieve that others aren't seeing my point of view (they don't have to agree) or like what I am saying is being twisted into something I didn't mean, or sometimes I misinterpret something someone says because of the logistics of not being able to hear their tone or forgetting, despite myself, that these ARE human beings with feelings, lives, families etc...Also, I think people resist change, even if it is for the better, because they feel personally attacked or whatever--so you might be making the most valid point in the world and someone will inevitably fight you on it tooth and nail before even *relenting* and saying "I don't agree, but you have a good point"

Anyway, what I accuse is nothing I have not been guilty of myself---so please, no one get offended...

Regardless though, I love MDC and have learned WAY more here and have benefited WAY more than not, so I will stay and continue to learn...being here and learning and sharing has already made me 100 better the mom I would have been before--I am just glad I came here while pregnant!!!!

Come out of hiding!!

[Denise K]

I feel out of my depth here too, despite having read and thought a lot about these issues. Possibly because I feel perpetually out of my depth when I'm parenting, in the conflict-management/discipline world. I think it's the place where I am doing things most differently from my parents (they changed later, but for early childhood it was threaten and spank)--and also just plain hard, emotionally loaded, complex.

We all learn differently--I figure if you get more out of this board than from reading 40 books, then this is the place for you, even if you are not a professional-level GD user.

It does leave me feeling freaked out to see people get all defensive and sarcastic with each other. Makes me scared to open my mouth, and I wish everyone would chill out. (like I said, it's emotionally loaded...) But when I have posted here, I have received only support and helpful suggestions.

So I can't welcome you as a Senior Member of this board or anything, but I say it's OK to be confused. Without ignorance, there's not much room for learning.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by Denise K

But when I have posted here, I have received only support and helpful suggestions.

I think you get what you give for the most part but there are those odd few posts that get crazy, right OVB?

I don’t know if you’re talking specifically about the GD forum or about MDC but one suggestion came to me reading your post.

If I’m feeling overwhelmed and negative, I stop around on threads that I can offer help or support on. I’ll go back to pregnancy and birth, diapering, breastfeeding, infancy or toddlers. It’s nice to stop over to welcome new members too.

If you’re in it to learn, I think you’ll be fine. For the most part, it’s when I’m not trying to learn that I get myself into trouble.

Welcome!

[UnschoolnMa]

Oh heck just jump on in! I write like I talk, and sometimes it probably sounds really strange as people read it lol. There is room for all of us here, and the more folks the better I think. Glad to have ya!

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by Denise K

Possibly because I feel perpetually out of my depth when I'm parenting, in the conflict-management/discipline world. I think it's the place where I am doing things most differently from my parents (they changed later, but for early childhood it was threaten and spank)--and also just plain hard, emotionally loaded, complex.

s I feel this way sometimes too. Those are the times where I'm posting like 10 help posts and offering little in return. But it's for my babe so I know no one minds.

[mamalita]

If it's any consolation, I feel the same way. I was disciplined in a pretty harsh manner growing up - once even hit for sneezing too loud (!!) - so I'm determined to give my DS a more loving/gentle upbringing. I sometimes feel like I'm at a loss as to how to handle a situation that many members here would handle with ease. Usually I lurk on the GD boards 'cause I feel so awkward. But I've learned a lot.

You are not alone!

[Red]

On some boards I feel knowledgable, on others, I'm a student.

So, I post when I feel like I have something to say. If I post and another poster tells me I'm wrong and foolish, I trry not to take it to heart.

Please post! Sometimes we say just the thing to make someone else think of the right thing. Was that clear?

[katallen]

I feel over my head on some boards, but I like post because if I say something that someone disagrees with I know I will get another point of view to think about and hopefully my point of view will be helpful to someone else too, and if nobody disagrees it is nice to feel that you fit in!

[mistymama]

I feel like there are mamas here who know SO MUCH more than I do, I only give advise on the really simple stuff. :LOL

I must say, whenever I have posted a question I have received LOTS of great advise and support. I just don't feel "qualified" enough in the area of GD to help people out or usually say things any better than someone else already has!

I have not read up a ton on GD, for now I pretty much go by my mama instinct and redirect/model correct behavior. I'm a pretty kicked back mama so it works for us ... but it's hard for me to put into words for someone else what is working for us, kwim?