Spanking with any kid of "switch" illegal

[Dwmama]

Is there anywhere where spanking with any kind of "switch" such as spoon, twig, paddle illegal anywhere? Or is it one of those things that is legal...?

[annettemarie]

Nope, although people are working to make it so.
stoptherod.net
http://stoptherod.net/ed-markey-request.html
http://parentinginjesusfootsteps.org/

[gracklegirl]

All I can think of is that line from The Quiet Man: "Sir, here's a good stick to beat the lovely lady."

Now seriously, I grew up in Mexico, and I only got spanked once (long trip, stubborn child, tired dad, I deserved it, and it hurt more that I made my dad angry enough to hit me than the spanking itself). Anyway, I cannot conceive people will actually make laws discussing what is right to beat your child up with or not. Why would it be right? I don't understand...

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by gracklegirl

Anyway, I cannot conceive people will actually make laws discussing what is right to beat your child up with or not. Why would it be right? I don't understand...

I think you are missing the point. It is not about giving people acceptable ways of hitting their children; it is about limiting what people can sell to make it easier for people to hit their children.

[annettemarie]

Also, you did not deserve to be hit.

No one deserves to be hit.

[gracklegirl]

Now I know I was missing the point. I didn't understand it was about the commerce in this. Now I feel incredibly naive.
And I chose my words poorly, as well. I just regret pushing my father to that point, yk? They somehow manage to instill love and respect in us, and only lost it once. Not a bad record. I only hope I can be a good mommy, too, which is why I'm trying to learn as much as I can now!
And you are such a great resource. Thank you.

[annettemarie]

[jmreinke]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I think you are missing the point. It is not about giving people acceptable ways of hitting their children; it is about limiting what people can sell to make it easier for people to hit their children.

People sell stuff for this? My mom just went in the kitchen and grabbed a wooden spoon, or used her sorority paddle. But, I wish it were illegal, as it would have helped me to know that what she did was wrong, and not normal. Weirdly enough, now at age 32, I'm just learning that what my mom did was not normal, and quite wrong.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by jmreinke

People sell stuff for this? My mom just went in the kitchen and grabbed a wooden spoon, or used her sorority paddle. But, I wish it were illegal, as it would have helped me to know that what she did was wrong, and not normal. Weirdly enough, now at age 32, I'm just learning that what my mom did was not normal, and quite wrong.

I know what you mean. One of the most recurring themes I have in counseling is asking "Is this normal? Is this OK?" It's hard when your instincts were beaten out of you.

[AutumnMama]

Originally Posted by jmreinke

People sell stuff for this? My mom just went in the kitchen and grabbed a wooden spoon, or used her sorority paddle. But, I wish it were illegal, as it would have helped me to know that what she did was wrong, and not normal. Weirdly enough, now at age 32, I'm just learning that what my mom did was not normal, and quite wrong.

s:

Except I'm only 24, and it was spoon, spatula, belt, hand.......was hard to wrap my mind around the fact that it's not the right way to do it, it's not ok, and I'm not ok--I have issues getting angry easily at my little ones
Still love my parents to death, and my mom believes now that it would be better not to spank *if you can*

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread...just hit a chord

Anyway, I don't think it's illegal here (but maybe in Canada?).

[jmreinke]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I know what you mean. One of the most recurring themes I have in counseling is asking "Is this normal? Is this OK?" It's hard when your instincts were beaten out of you.

Yes, exactly, I am working on this in therapy right now. Funny thing is, that I was in a Phd program in Clinical child psych, so of course I know with my mind that it isn't normal, but when it comes to my own family and my own experience, it was the only normal I had.

One of the issues for me is that I was never hit hard enough to leave any lasting marks, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't hitting. But in my child's mind, I figured that child abuse was only when you had broken bones, or bruises, etc.

I found this on the web the other day:

"Now think of a child who lives with a parent who terrifies the child but who has just enough control (IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTROL) over him- or herself to refrain from injuring the child physically in a way that will draw questions. That child is suffering the same devastating abuse as the children in the examples above, but often nothing can be done about it.”

That quote helped me to see that what I experienced was damaging, even though everyone keeps telling me that everyone spanked their kids back then. But, now as a mom myself, I can now see that what my mom did was wrong and way over the line. That quote above just helped me to see that my feeling about it were ok, and not crazy... if that makes sense.

[erikanorth]

IT is illegal in Canada to use any implement. Too bad the law doesn't go as far as to ban spanking completely

Here's a link http://www.corpun.com/cad00401.htm

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by erikanorth

IT is illegal in Canada to use any implement. Too bad the law doesn't go as far as to ban spanking completely

Here's a link http://www.corpun.com/cad00401.htm

Thanks, Erika- that is good to know!

[jmreinke]

GenevievesMama

[jmreinke]

Originally Posted by erikanorth

IT is illegal in Canada to use any implement. Too bad the law doesn't go as far as to ban spanking completely

Here's a link http://www.corpun.com/cad00401.htm

Wow, that's awesome!