What to do when child hits you?

[seren]

I was talking to my friend today and her ds is just a bit older than mine. He is 28 months. Lately when she tells him he can't do something (climbing on the counter, taking things from other children, etc.) he hits her. She said she doesn't know what to do with him. So she asked me. I really didn't know what to tell her and said I would ask on here. My ds doesn't hit, or rarely, so I don't know what I would do. What should I tell her? She tried time outs, but to get him to sit in it, she has to physically hold him down. And hse also has problems getting him into his car seat. He fights her and she has to hold him down. SHe said she feels like she's hurting him, but she doesn't know what else to do. She can't not put him in the car seat. So and advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

[Ruthla]

OK: about the hitting:

I usually take ds' arm and move it away from me/over to the side, look him in the eye, and say "No hitting. You gave Mommy a boo-boo" or something to that effect. Hitting is an impulsive action- he needs an immediate response, not a long, drawn out one, such as trying to keep him in time out. The focus is to stop the hitting, not to punish him!!!

For the carseat: I give him a choice: "Do you want to climb in by yourself or should Mommy help you in?" if he stands there, I repeat myself and add "If you don't climb in, then you're choosing to let Mommy do it for you." If he still doesn't respond, then I'll pick him up and force him into the carseat because safety comes first.

[sadie_sabot]

I have also recently started telling my dd that when she doesn't respond to an offerred choice, she is actually making a choice, just asyou described.

More suggestions regarding hitting, please! My dd is doing some hitting, but it's weird, she usually doesn't seem angry, she'll just haul off and hit me. or the cat, or occasionally, the other kid we do a share care with.

Sometimes she hits me (or throws something at me) because I'm not paying attention, and I know how to remedy that! (tell her a different way to get my attention, and bemore responsive, even if it's just to tell her to wait a minute). But when it seems really random, nd she doesn't seem angry, I dunno what to do. I worry more about the cat and her buddy than I do about me, frankly.