First of all, I don't post very much but I love this board and find it helps me do the very hard work of learning to be a more gentle loving parent. So thank you all contributors...maybe someday I will have my own wisdom to bestow here.
I have learned of some very sad goings-on with my husband's family...His aunt and uncle, long childless, adopted 2 boys some time ago. Both were neglected by their bio family. When I saw them a year or so after the adoption, they appeared to be thriving and I complimented the aunt and uncle for doing a great job with them...let's agree it's no easy feat to go from childless to 2 rambunctious boys...
Well some years passed since I had my babies and we didn't see them. Now apparently the older one, an adolescent, recently told the a some pretty terrible stuff, about being beaten with a 2x4 and having his head slammed into the wall, which (rightfully) opened a child welfare investigation. The aunt and uncle were interviewed separately, and the child was interviewed again. Each time, the boy repeated his story. My husband's uncle told the DCF that it wasn't a 2x4, "just a wooden paddle"! And that it was used only occasionally for really big infractions.
And the child welfare CLEARED them! They said, "oh, that's okay, just a plain old wooden paddle!" Because apparently, iwhere they live anyway, you can buy paddles for the purpose of beating your children (I've never heard of such a thing for sale) The schools use paddles on the kids all the time where they live. But the boy, who was removed from his previous home for neglect, had apparently never seen a paddle in his previous "neglectful" home and it scared him. (wouldn't it scare you?)
The DCF concluded that the boy was lying and exaggerating, traced it to "attachment disorders" and recommended, not enforced, family counseling which the aunt and uncle declined, stating that they would deal with it themselves.
Sorry this is so long but I just found out that this has been going on the last 9 months, and I'm so grossed out, we were supposed to be planning a trip to see them and now I can't imagine being in the same room with those people. And I thought they were really great...
Even if the boy DID exaggerate (and who says he did) isn't hitting with a wooden implement bad enough? Not here in the good USA!
[edited to leave out some details to protect the innocent and not so innocent]
I have learned of some very sad goings-on with my husband's family...His aunt and uncle, long childless, adopted 2 boys some time ago. Both were neglected by their bio family. When I saw them a year or so after the adoption, they appeared to be thriving and I complimented the aunt and uncle for doing a great job with them...let's agree it's no easy feat to go from childless to 2 rambunctious boys...
Well some years passed since I had my babies and we didn't see them. Now apparently the older one, an adolescent, recently told the a some pretty terrible stuff, about being beaten with a 2x4 and having his head slammed into the wall, which (rightfully) opened a child welfare investigation. The aunt and uncle were interviewed separately, and the child was interviewed again. Each time, the boy repeated his story. My husband's uncle told the DCF that it wasn't a 2x4, "just a wooden paddle"! And that it was used only occasionally for really big infractions.
And the child welfare CLEARED them! They said, "oh, that's okay, just a plain old wooden paddle!" Because apparently, iwhere they live anyway, you can buy paddles for the purpose of beating your children (I've never heard of such a thing for sale) The schools use paddles on the kids all the time where they live. But the boy, who was removed from his previous home for neglect, had apparently never seen a paddle in his previous "neglectful" home and it scared him. (wouldn't it scare you?)
The DCF concluded that the boy was lying and exaggerating, traced it to "attachment disorders" and recommended, not enforced, family counseling which the aunt and uncle declined, stating that they would deal with it themselves.
Sorry this is so long but I just found out that this has been going on the last 9 months, and I'm so grossed out, we were supposed to be planning a trip to see them and now I can't imagine being in the same room with those people. And I thought they were really great...
Even if the boy DID exaggerate (and who says he did) isn't hitting with a wooden implement bad enough? Not here in the good USA!
[edited to leave out some details to protect the innocent and not so innocent]
