I have actually thought about a job , but since my Dh has an ON-call job, that wouldn't work. I NEVER know if or when he is going to be aorund to watch the kids. Today for instance he has to be at work about 4 hours earlier than planned. I didn't know that until we got back home from pre-school this am.
So, my main fear with that is : If I had to be at work and Dh was supposed to watch the kids, and had to go, who is left to watch the kids ? WHY ! guess who..MIL and Fil.
Not going to occur.
Lately it has been rather nice, due to the fact that FIl is angry with me so he won't come into my house. I like it. It is refreshingly queit around here.
MIl only calls Dhs cell phone now, so i never hear form her, Ijust hear about teh htings she has planned for hte kids Via Dh..usualy late at night when i already have plans for the next day already. This doesn't make for a happy MIL, nor a happy me.
She seems to assume that since I am at home with the kids, that I can just go and do things at a moments notice. Well, you know, somedays I am free and can go and just do things at teh drop of a hat..but for the most part, even if I don't have to go anywhere, I STILL have stuff I have to do.
I don't think she really wants to take the kids...not for good anyway. It would crimp her style too much.
But the fact that BIL told me she has Thought about it, about calling..that really hurts. I suppose I should be used to that sort of scathing judgement towards me anymore..Lord knows after 8 years of it , it is nothing new. I just had no idea that I was loathed to such a degree. Now I know, and thats a hard thing to come to terms with.
Living surrounded by people who don't like me is very hard. It hurts and wears down at me.
I get very angry with being told that if I would just CHANGE and be less like ME, then life would be so much smoother for all involved. hearing " Why do you have to be so different" is really undermining of ones confidence.
Mamaduck..man, you wanna come have a cup of tea with me ? How far away do you live again ? Too far, I suppose...
I have to gird my loins for a battle this weekend..oops..I mean a VISIT with her this weekend. She hasn't seen the kids for a week or more..now I have to be the official schlepper of small people.
If only she would meet us on Neutral territory. Har har har..
She lives 4 blocks from a really great park, and I have taken the kids there many many times. She has joined us ONCE. Once..in over 4 years. I take my kids to the library only 4 blocks from her house..never ben there to see the kids.
The only time she wants to see the kids is in her house on her terms. Or at her beauty shop , on her terms.
I used to feel guilty if I took the kids into her town and she was home and we didn't stop by. Now I do it about 1 time a month..simply because I get heartburn just Thinking about being in her home that day.
I would love to get Dh into counseling, not only for the ADD, but also because of htese very same issues that we go over nad over nad over, every year, that never change or go away.
It gets old..thats for darn sure.