Storytime at the library

[l_olive]

Hi all,

I'm new to MDC, but I've lurked long enough to think that many of you practice many of the same ideals that I aspire to when raising my 25 month old ds. And now I'm hoping for some advice, please!

I was raised in a very hardcore "behave and don't ask questions" kind of way, and I struggle every day with trying to treat my little man in a gentler and more mindful way. Some days I do well, some days I could do better, and some days I just don't have a clue. Today was one of those days.

Here's my current dilemma. I've taken my ds to a storytime (kids 8 to 23 months) at our local library for several months. Our librarian was a wonderful, sweet, and patient woman. Some kids would listen, some would run or crawl around, some would stand right in front of her -- as long as they weren't disruptive, the librarian just kept on with her stories and songs. This event has been one of our favorite things to do each week.

When the kids turn two, they "graduate" to the "2s" section which is held in exactly the same room, but with a different librarian. Now, suddenly the little ones are expected to sit quietly on their mats. If they begin to wander, the librarian asks them (politely, but quite firmly) to sit back down. She makes it very clear that she expects their full cooperation. She starts the class by telling the parents that if the child loses attention they should remove him/her to the back of the room, but s/he's always welcome to come back when s/he's ready to pay attention again.

She's an excellent storyteller, and for the first 15 minutes, my ds surprised me by sitting quietly on my lap. When another child got up and headed for the front, ds decided to try to follow her. I tried to discourage him, but he just wasn't going to sit back down again. The other mother and child vanished (still not sure where they went), and I took ds to the back of the room as I had been directed.

Now this is a room that he's quite familiar with. Not only have we had storytime there for several months, our local AP group meets there, and just yesterday, ds and I attended another mom's group brunch there. So ds knows that there are chairs stacked off to the side that he likes to crawl under -- along with several other places that he's played on other occasions.

So, ds starting crawling around under the chairs. He wasn't being noisy, but there was no bringing him back to paying attention to the librarian. Just wasn't gonna happen. So, when he crawled to the end, I scooped him up and we went across the street to the park.

Sorry this has gotten so long, but the way!

So now I don't know quite what to do. I figure I have three choices. I can

1) take him again next week, and when he loses interest again and starts to wander, simply remove him again, and keep trying each week;

2) decide that the librarian's expectations are too high, and let him do his thing (as long as he's not bothering anybody) and ignore her continued requests for him to sit down. This would be very hard for me -- I have approval issues of my own that I'm working on; or

3) stop going to storytime until I feel that he's matured enough to be able to participate in the way he's "expected."

Are there other options that I'm not seeing?

What would you do??? Thanks!

--Olive

[Deja]

You could ask him if he wants to go to storytime. If he says yes, tell him that now that he's bigger, he'll have to sit on his mat for storytime. If he doesn't sit on his mat, you will have to leave. Then I'd ask him if he will sit on his mat at story time. I'd tell him that if he doesn't sit on his mat, you will leave storytime. If he says he'll sit on his mat, I'd take him and then leave if he's disruptive, without making a big deal of it, just identifying that he said he'd sit on the mat but he didn't, so now you have to leave. The odds of cooperation are higher when the expectations and consequences are clearly communicated.

[QDB]

well my first reaction is that the librarian's expectations are too high - I was a children's librarian before I had ds and the 2 year olds and even the 3 or 4 year olds in our storytimes had varying levels of stillness.

I think sitting still on a mat is kinda strict.

I think just take your ds and if he is not conforming then take him somewhere else like you did. Parks are probably better places for kids in an active mood, ykwim? (It's nice when parks and libraries can be close together!)

My own 22 mo ds goes to the library for storytime and almost never participates but I figure that maybe one day it will rub off on him :LOL


And I agree with Deja too! Communication is most important!

[jentilla]

Ditto to both! Some adults are so silly!

I would also look at geting the same book the storyteller is using to let your ds hold while she's reading. I think it's way too hard to expect him to follow along while sitting on a mat. My 18 mth DD can sit through like 8 books in a row, but if she has to just sit and listen to someone with out the book I wouldn't give her very long. Or if you can't get that book maybe another P Book for him to hold while she's reading.

Jen mom to my silly serious sweet little O

[Drewsmom]

Yeah, something I can share my experience on! This used to be a major struggle for us. First off I should say hooray that your little 2 year old guy sat for 15 min.s. In all seriousness that is excellent and I think just right time wise for a 2 year old. The difference even between a just barely 2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old is huge and then another big jump developmentally between 2 1/2 to 3 year old. The whole year is amazing as far as that goes.

My ds#1 is 4 now and I used to enjoy so much bringing him to the library as a baby first in a sling/stroller so I could pick out some books then going to the toddler story/song time and he loved sitting on my lap.....

Then toddlerhood hit and that was starting around 14 months or so. By 18 months and 2 years it was so depressing for me to go to story time that I stopped going. In fact if you archive this subject I'm sure you could find my post. I just couldn't understand why it was that all these "other" kids were sitting so incredibly patiently and quietly listening to the story and mine was a wreck running all over the library then screaming when it was time to go. What a mess!!! I literally was in tears several times thinking that my story time days were over.

Then ds turned 3 1/2 (not to depress you that it took that long) and sitting still listening for 1/2 an hour was not a problem. I am totally amazed when we go now at how he sits and listens and participates.

The good thing for you to know if that you have a bright child. He is exploring and curious and that really is a good thing, albeit frustrating right now.

Something I did with ds#1 is around that age we began practicing library behavior. Before we would go we had a little chant something like this "When we're in the library we don't _____(let him fill in run), we _____(walk), when we're in the library we don't _____(shout), we ____(whisper)...." Then when he forgot we would restate the rule and if he was really breaking down we would just go. I always meant to try my sis.'s suggestion of blowing bubbles when we got outside the library but I always forgot.

I really think that him listening for 15 min.s is really appropriate to his age right now. He will have greater listening skills at 2 1/2 and then again at 3 years old. Let him enjoy it for the first 15 min.s then go out. I wouldn't stay and have him run around since they stated that that's their expectations, I would honor those even if they're not totally appropriate. Our library starts that at 3 years old if it makes you feel better . Good luck .

[TiredX2]

In our area the age ranges are a suggestion only. Could you just go back to the younger one until DS was a bit older? DD was ready for our older one before she turned two, so we went early, DS was still with the "babies" until recently.

[maya44]

You have a right to think that the Libararian's rules are too strict (I agree)

You have a right to discuss changing them with her or someone else at the Library.

You don't have a right to ignore the rules.

So, I would defintitely communicate with your ds, stay as long as he is willing to sit, and then get out of there OR,

I would ask if he can go back to the younger session.

[mammastar2]

Generally, I don't have a problem with the request that, if your child is disruptive or just not into the activity (wandering around, talking, crying), you take him or her out of the room - otherwise it creates a domino effect as more and more kids get distracted, and the whole thing breaks down.

I do think that having 2 year olds sit on mats for an extended period is too high an expectation, however. At circle time at our playgroup when my daughter was that age, the facilitator mixed reading aloud with action stories and songs so the kids weren't expected to just sit and listen for too long. Plus, circle time was only about 20 min.

If your child enjoys the 15 minutes or so he is 'into' the activities for, keep going, I suppose. You may want to talk to the librarian about the structure and age expectations, depending on how receptive you feel she may be (talk to her as in "we so enjoy coming to the program - I've noticed that 2 year olds really respond well to a mix of listening quietly and active participation - have you thought about how to integrate them?").

[l_olive]

Thank you all for such thoughtful and helpful answers. I knew I'd come to the right place!

I appreciate the reassurances that perhaps the expectations are a little much for him right now, and that I need to remember that the difference between a just-turned-two-year-old and an almost-three-year-old are pretty great. That helped me realize that I shouldn't be comparing him to the others in the group (a bad habit that I continually work on).

I will keep going and be proud if he's able to get through the first 15 minutes as well as he did this first time. But we'll also be incorporating some of the other suggestions like defining my expectations and then practicing them at home, too.

Thanks again mommas!

--Olive