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How does everyone cope with the fear? - warning, downer - Page 2

post #21 of 28
Sarah, I am sorry you are going through this mental anguish! One thing about your temps though, a drop of only .2 probably isn't a huge deal. What is your usual coverline? I would say if you stay above your coverline, you are probably fine. I have a pretty big difference between pre-O and post-O temps, so a change between 98.5 and 98.3 would really be minimal on my chart (my coverline is usually 97.5). That being said, I know it is hard on your mind and heart. Don't give up though!!! Let yourself rest as much as possible, and try to send thoughts of strength and love to the baby.
post #22 of 28
Amy, I'd heard (although I can't remember where... I think from the midwives) that you're not supposed to chart after you're definately pregnant because there are all these other hormones that come into play, and they can change your temperatures and that it can make people worry needlessly. So hopefully, that's what's happening for you.
post #23 of 28

edited


Edited by Cedarmom - 9/5/13 at 11:42am
post #24 of 28
Belleweather, I think you meant Sarah right? I haven't charted since I got pregnant for exactly that reason.
post #25 of 28
Thread Starter 
Thank you for the hopeful thoughts ladies - and those of you who have had spotting or know women that did and everything turned out fine, that really is helpful to hear.

Yesterday most of the day was fine, then early afternoon I had another wipe of the same really pale pink blood-tinged mucus- about half dollar sized after peeing. Ironically, it was right after taking a pregnancy test - where the pregnant line came up before the control and was much darker (not that that means much, I know, I shouldn't have taken it). That was the end of it for the day though. No more blood.

This morning, so far, (it's 9:30) I've had no blood, although I would not be surprised to see it later today. I am trying to remain positive. : We are even going to the Homebirth Midwife meet and greet today so my husband can meet the midwife I want, and if all goes well we are going to hire her. At the very least, even if things don't work out, I will have a helpful, sympathetic ear if something goes wrong. I called one of the Midwives I am seeing for dual care through the hospital here when I spotted the first time and she was rude and entirely unsympathetic. She told me to stop temping because I was "getting myself worked up" and that there was no way they could know if I was miscarrying or not. She said to call if I had heavy bleeding. She did not ask any questions or offer any thoughts to relax me, she just seemed irritated that I was bothering her at all.

It really irked me - I called her very calm and explained what was going on, and asked what I was supposed to do - and she said I was getting "worked up" - was I supposed to be blase about thinking I was losing the Bean? I have been to a birth with this same midwife as a doula and I did not like her then either, so I am really looking forward to having a homebirth midwife to call if something is worrying me.

I have an appt. on Monday and they will check everything out then - and hopefully (although I am ordinarily not a fan of them) going to schedule an ultrasound for a soon as possible. I need one to make me feel better at this point.

Thank you all for your kind words - and keep those stories of women successfully carrying to term with spotting coming!

- Sarah

praying for a
post #26 of 28
Sarah, usually I don't think it's a good thing to say, "Oh, I know exactly what you're going through" --but this time I'll make an exception!!

Tuesday morning, at exactly 6 weeks, I woke up suddenly at 6:30 am (unusual for me) and felt strange--something made me reach down between my legs, and it felt very wet, almost like I'd peed myself or something! I was half asleep and it didn't make sense, then I looked at my hand and could see that it was covered with bright red blood. I cried out and woke up fully, which woke up my DH, and we were terrified and upset that I seemed to be losing the pregnancy. I had bled onto/through my pajamas a circle probably 10 inches in diameter, and two silver dollar sized spots on the sheets and onto the mattress pad.

I called my friend (who is actually my own midwifery assistant/partner) crying almost hysterically, and she suggested I call another midwife colleague who's a CNM and has her own ultrasound machine in her office. So I did and went in for a sono at 10:15--it was very difficult to see anything very clearly because my uterus was very retroverted. Although there was a sac in the uterus and what looked like a fetal pole, there was no heartbeat which the mw felt that she could usually see at 6 weeks. She made an appointment to follow up next Tuesday, but said it looked likely that I was having an inevitable miscarriage although she couldn't be sure yet. As it was a vaginal U/S, when I went to the bathroom in her office I had another gush of blood into the toilet. I continued bleeding the rest of the day, but tapered off later and I didn't have much cramping and didn't have any clotting or tissue at all. The next day (Wednesday) I had some reddish-brown spotting. By night it was more brownish, and the next morning (Thursday) I didn't have any at all for a while. Finally Thursday afternoon I called the midwife back to ask what she thought might be going on, as I hadn't miscarried yet (no tissue) and had stopped bleeding and wasn't even cramping. She was suprised, and suggested that I come in Friday afternoon for a repeat sono instead of waiting through the weekend for my previous appointment which was on Tuesday.

Friday morning I had some cramping and more brownish spotting, and was sure that the end was near for my bean. I even cleaned my room up and bought some chux pads for the bed, since I was thinking I would be miscarrying very soon. I went for the sono at 6 pm though, and lo and behold, there was a significantly higher/more upright uterus, much larger sac, a much larger embryo, and a heartbeat!!

So for now, it appears that I am still pregnant and at least for the moment, staying pregnant! Spotting/bleeding in pregnancy can be very normal, and it doesn't sound like you are having that much. Part of it can be leaking from the maternal/fetal junction as the placenta bores in there, part of it can be cervical bleeding due to cervical softening or sex, stretching of decidual capillaries in the uterus combined with minor decidual necrosis, menstrual breakthrough bleeding at the time of the expected period, etc.

I could not BELIEVE that I bled so much, and did not miscarry! I'm telling you, it scared the crap out of me!! I don't usually bleed that much with a period!! It was a LOT of blood--both my friend and the MW who did the sono agreed that it was a lot of bleeding, and did not look good at that point--so it wasn't just me freaking out!!

I can't guarantee that I'll carry to term, but NOBODY ever can--for now I'm just happy that I'm 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant with a growing embryo and it's looking optimistic! My MW basically said that at this point, my chances of miscarriage aren't any greater than anyone else's.

I'm going to quote Anne Frye here: "Bleeding alone, even though heavy, is often transitory and frequently does not end in miscarriage. One out of every five women will have some bleeding (including spotting) in the first half of pregnancy. If a woman who is bleeding in the first trimester has a verifiable living baby, her chances of carrying the baby to viability are 90% [Kokder, 1995]" From Holistic Midwifery, Volume I, p. 713.

One thing I am doing (recommended by Frye and my MW) is taking 400 IU Vitamin E and 2 grams of Vit C (in form of Emergen-C) a day to strengthen the placental bed, also liquid calcium and magnesium at night to prevent cramping. There are also some herbs that are said to help prevent miscarriage if the baby is healthy, and they are listed in the same text on the same page!! If you don't have access to that book, pm me and I'll tell you what she recommends if you want (there are like 5 possible combinations.) I am also on pelvic rest (ie no sex or orgasm) amd supposed to avoid any lifting or much exertion for the next two weeks at least. If I am having any cramping, I'm resting/lying down. Keep in mind those, these are more for heavy bleeding/threatened miscarriage than for minimal spotting, but it is good to know if it comes to that.

Also, I am also generally not in favor of sonograms, because I feel that they are done routinely/without a medical indication for just about everyone and that they have become more of a cultural ritual than a medical procedure a lot of the time but that's a rant for another day! And I wasn't planning on getting even one in this pregnancy if there was no compelling indication. However, I am very glad to have had one (two, actually!) at this point, because I think that heavy bleeding is a valid indication for one, I think it has enough history of use that there is no real clear evidence of harm, and because I know that at least right now I do have an apparently viable embryo in there and that my chances are good. So get a sono if that's what you need to do for your own peace of mind!! Just don't freak out if you don't get a heartbeat--sometimes it can take a little longer than six weeks, and a lot can change in a few days at this stage of pregnancy. (It was UNBELIEVABLE how much of a difference there was in three short days in the sono--even DH who has never seen a sono before in his life could tell immediately that there was a change.)

Also, I stopped temping as soon as I found out that I was pregnant too--it's too crazy-making and I don't think it provides helpful information at this stage. I mean, how long am I going to continue doing it? The whole first trimester? the whole pregnancy? Even if it does "warn" you that you may be about to miscarry early, really, there's nothing that you can really do about it anyway, so why drive yourself nuts? Most very early miscarriages are due to a documentable defect with the developing embryo, so as hard as it sounds you wouldn't want to hang onto a pregnancy that would not end up being viable, even if you could, which you can't anyway. Also, that doesn't sound like much of a temp drop. I would stop temping, it sounds like it's just creating more fear and something else to worry about!

I don't want to be dismissive of your concerns, but really I think a little pink-tinged mucus by itself isn't anything to worry too much about, although I know how scary it is to see something like that, especially when you're so fearful about miscarrying already. But it sounds more like it's probably coming from your cervix than anything else . . . If you start having heavy bleeding, cramping, clotting, pass tissue, have intense pain, that's another matter. But really it sounds like what's going on is very normal early pregnancy stuff thus far and you will be probably be fine. Trust me, I know that the uncertainty is really awful. I mean, not only did I think I was having a miscarriage but two midwives thought it was very likely too!! I stayed home from work the whole week, cried a lot, and it was not pretty around here . . . . at this point, now that the immediate crisis is past and it is looking more hopeful, I am just accepting that I am having a baby until proven otherwise!!

Hope this may help . . . hugs to you, hang in there!!!
post #27 of 28
Wow, Kavita, sounds like you've got quite the little survivor in that uterus! I hope all continues to be well for you and the baby!!
post #28 of 28
Thread Starter 
Thanks Kavita! Those were a lot of really great suggestions. I do have Anne Frye's Holistic Midwifery handbook, and looking through it did make me feel better.

I did not have anymore spotting Saturday or Sunday and I have a midwifery appt. today. We even went on Saturday to meet the CPM we would like to attend our homebirth. I am trying to assume the best for now.

I will let you all know what happens today. Thank you all so much for your support.

- Sarah
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