videos a contradiction to attach. parenting??

[grateful_mom]

i don't know, i've recently been noticing that many parents who subscribe to very cool ways of parenting (attachment parenting, etc...) sit their kids in front of videos. a lot. i can see the attraction as a babysitter, but isn't this somewhat of a contraction?? curious what you think.

[ekblad9]

I have to say that I'm a mom that is ideally against TV in general. Unfortunately I do use it occasionally to keep the kids busy if I absolutely have to get something done. I think if we're choosing the programming and using it very sparingly then it isn't all bad. I would love to be a no TV family but right now they get a half hour per day. We don't have cable either. I finally got the courage to cancel that! My husband was none too happy but that's too bad. I definately use the TV more in the winter then in the summer. In the summer it goes for days without being touched. The kids rarely ask to watch TV either. So that's a good sign, I think.

[sleepies]

i can see letting a child watch a video occasionly
so you can do the dishes or something
not for hours though.
30minutes...an hour. i dont see an issue

i see what you mean about it being a little of a contradiction, but not really. even if you are really doing AP bigtime, I still think you might need a few minutes. a video can do that without you having to hire someone. for a few minutes

i see your point though.

[dandelion]

I used to think not watching TV and AP went together. And then I met other APs and found everyone else used TVs except us.

[annekka]

Well, I generally don't put him in front of the T.V. so I can get stuff done- unless I've tried my other tricks and they've failed. Most of the time when I'm cooking or washing dishes he's happy to play in the kitchen with pots and pans or magnet letter. But every now and again... well putting on a video is better than getting so angry and frustrated at being interrupted that I'm snappish or impatient with him.

More often when I give up and turn on the T.V. is when I'm too tired to supervise his active and often destructive play. For 20-30 min I can rest and read a book without having to pull him off the furniture or rescue the cat from abuse. This really isn't often since I try to nap when he does, but sometime it's helpful and I say go with what works. Tapes of quality PBS shows are fun, educational, and commercial free.

[Rainbow]

I despise television in general. Not only for my kids, but for myself. We have one, but keep ot programmed to only get Discovery, TLC, History, Animal PLanet, and like channels. We do occasionally watch it. I find there is very little of any value on TV or video these days.
I sling Malia if I really need to get something done, and once she is to big to be slung, she will be big enough the "help" me. Dishes make take 3 times as long with her helping. She may unfold more than she folds... but I really prefer to avoid TV.
My reasons aren't really AP though. Long before I ever heard of AP I wasn't fond of TV. Kids video's have an abundance of violence (Disney) and even sexual content. I can't believe how some of our dear Disney characters dress. No wonder 10 year olds are putting on close to nothing and striking suggestive poses.
Barney, and such claim to be educational, but I think they would learn far more by interacting with you and listening to you explain things like what shape the plate is. Why the glass can hold water. How soap makes bubbles. How folding a towel conserves space.
Granted, Malia will probably watch a nature show here and there... and I don't think it's in and of itself a "bad" thing. But more than likely I'll be watching the show with her. It will be an activity, not a babysitter.
That said, I used to be a nanny and understand WHY some want to use one. I personally just think there are better methods of entertainment that will prove far more useful.

Aly

[Sierra]

We don't have a tv (well, actually, technically we do- it's an old tv my parents gave us when they got a new one, and we keep it in a closet and bring it out only for a rare movie rental). I don't enjoy having a tv in the house for even the basic reason that it is an ugly box that doesn't fit into my decorating scheme. I don't like to see kids being babysat by tv, but I don't judge other parents who have a tv or who watch videos with their kids. AP isn't a set of rules. It is a general approach that doesn't pan out the same way for everyone. Not only that, but parents can fall anywhere on the AP continuum, and most of us are not at any extreme.

[coonmom]

I'm guilty of using videos too much, but I can't help thinking they may not be all bad because, for the same reason children like the same books read over and over, they allow a child to predict what will happen next and feel some degree of control in his world. 23 mo DS likes his videos about trucks and heavy equipment and Thomas the Tank Engine and I can't see their negative influence on him. Especially when they are fuel for his imagination when he plays trains, etc.
DS and I don't watch many TV shows, but dh insists on having the thing on from the time he gets home, so ds is subjected to that CRAP even if he's not directly watching it. I try to occupy him in another room when I can, but you know, what's the purpose of family if you're going to hang out away from each other?. . . but that's another post I guess.
Anyway, I've been wondering about a related issue: what about computer games? DS enjoys Thomas TTE, Ms. Spider's Tea Party, Jumpstart, and Reader Rabbit software (mostly the first two). We have to play them together, so it's not a matter of not interacting. I just wonder if it's any worse than playing non-computer games together?
Gin

[3 little birds]

MaliasMommy,
I agree with you about the garbage that is touted as kids programming, esp the violence and the "sexiness". I am literally terrified that so many kids are growing up on this stuff. That is one of the very big reasons I am afraid to send my kids to public school.
I have recently been renting the baby einstein tapes from the library and we REALLY enjoy them. They are mostly music, no flashy images and the baby shakespeare has poetry.
I am in the process of donating most of our other tapes so that the tv won't be such an easy temptation. We don't have cable and we get no reception so tapes are my last crutch.

In general I don't believe in tv but I do believe there are some very beneficial programs for both young and old (I just watched Gandhi for the first time). I am just trying to be selective about how much and why.

[peggy]

I feel in moderation, as Nurding Mother, that TV is OK. In my ideal world I would not have one. I've cut it back alot but have not talked my husband or teenagers into giving it up altogether.

peggy

[zealsmom]

We do not have a televison and do not let ds watch tv at friend's houses (we are able to monitior that very closely because he is always with us when we are at the friend's - he is only 13 months)

We have also made the decision that he will not be exposed to the computer until later, so we do all of our computing after he is asleep or before he wakes in the morning.

The AAP and WHO recommend ZERO hours of television for children under 2!

I am personally against children being raised by television (and computers) but I was also raised in a house where we had very limited tv as young children and then we just chose not to watch it as young adults because we were too busy.

That said, I understand how people get into the paradigm of needing the 30 minute break. We just don't consider it an option.

[Paulab52]

You know, I have to say as a kid, I hardly ever watched TV. Of course, we didn't have cable and all that back in the 70's and early 80's. We didn't even get a VCR till I was 17 years old!!

I do use TV as a way to be able to take a shower. My 2 destructos trash the house as soon as I get in the shower. I turn on Croc Hunter and all is quiet for 30 minutes.

I don't worry so much about the programing as I do the advertising.

[Sierra]

Perhaps I should add to my post that we didn't have a tv when I was a kid either. Even when we went to friend's houses, we really didn't watch tv (perhaps the rare video at a friend's house, but really very rare). It wasn't that we weren't allowed to watch tv. At our house, it just wasn't an option because we didn't have one. At our friends' houses, we were much more interested in playing. Even these days, people consistently comment on my sense of imagination and my creativity (a creativity that can overcome even the most desperatly boring situations). Most people are a bit surprised by it, and I'm convinced it has a lot to do with not having a tv when I was a kid, especially during the earliest development of imaginative abilities. But as I said, every family balances there own wishes and needs. I think that is great!

[jempd]

We didn't have a TV growing up either, and what happened was that I developed a. a craving for it (forbidden fruit) and b. not as much tolerance for watching TV as I've noticed other people have.

I had the idea that I would simply curtail TV viewing and only allow so much a week, and so forth, but now am wondering whether it's going to be so easy. Have just noticed ds (8 months) watching the tv while dh or I watch it. Also, dh and I have different attitudes toward TV: I only watch when there's something specific I want to see, dh likes to plop down in front of it a lot of the time, eat in front of it etc. Have been arguing with him re: canceling cable or not for a long time. What about those videos for babies? We've been given a few of them. What I want to do is put the brakes on the TV watching before it gets to be ingrained.

My sister has the best set up for resolving this issue, I think. She lives in a rural area where they only get one not-very-good channel so there's rarely anything worth watching anyway. They have a VCR and so the kids watch a rented movie if anything and they read, read, read.

[grateful_mom]

THE TV BLUES

wow!

it's nice to come back and see such a response to this thread. i find the topic of media and children (and adults) completely fascinating, especially considering the amount of hours spent being entertained by it. and sadly, this is becoming an international pastime as tv and related media is entering the most remote of places.

at times i have considered utilizing the tv and a vcr for "educational" programs, but i see where this might be a slippery slope for our family and we have decided not to have either in the house. more than anything though, i see tv as the primary tool corporate media uses to anesthetize our society. even public television programs spawn their own little circles of consumption. i would like to think that our family's life path challenges the force feeding and brainwashing that seems to be so readily accepted in this day and age.

on the lighter side, i can't help but wonder what children AREN'T doing when they are being entertained by other people's words and chosen images. "what else could s/he be doing? writing? reading? climbing? creating? exploring? questioning? challenging? no matter how educational the program, the activity in itself is pathetically passive.

i know my opinion is rather radical, but i see too many friends and relatives getting that crazed glaze in their eye as they pass up life to be mildly entertained by shows that are created to sell something to someone.

happy holidaze.

[peacemama]

I don't think television is non-AP, just the overuse or misuse of it. I see no problem in letting my three-year-old watch a quality program or video while I shower, as long as she gets plenty of opportunities to do other things, and plenty of attention from me!

[USAmma]

I used to be against TV but now find it a good source of entertainment and education. My imagination was fed as a child by PBS shows, National Geographic, and other simliar shows. I think it allowed me to journey to other places and times and learn so much more than I would have learned simply by reading books. So PBS is "in" at our house.

Right now we watch Sesame Street every morning. Mostly I sit next to her and feed her breakfast, and then I wash dishes or whatever. She rarely just sits there and watches. She usually plays and looks up every so often if something gets her attention. I also play a few vidoes for her, she gets one almost every day. Right now we only have Baby Mozart, Baby DooLittle, and Raffi. With the videos I participate with her in naming the objects, laughing at the puppets with her, and singing along with Raffi. Once in awhile I'll pop one in so I can get something done like eat my lunch when she's having a bad day and won't be put down for even a minute.

[mamaMAMAma]

I don't think watching tv is non-AP. Likewise, not watching tv doesn't mean you're AP either. I used to watch a lot of tv after work, as a means to unwind. Post-DD, we stopped watching tv, and cancelled cable(just doesn't have the time). DD is only 15months and the APA recommends no tv for kids under 2. I don't like the idea of young kids(or older ones for that matter) glued in front of the box, passively watching. I think that kids are meant to explore their environment, finding ways to entertain themselves. That being said, I don't think that there is anything wrong with letting kids watching half an hour of videos if that keeps the parent(s) sane. Just not quite for us.

[Teresa]

Television-OK Days!

Television is pretty limited at our house. Saturday and Sunday are "Television-OK Days." That means my daughter can choose a video to watch! We have 2 childrens' yoga videos, 2 Kipper videos, 2 childrens' animals/wildlife videos and 2 childrens' exercise videos. Usually she'll watch for 15-30 minutes and turn it off herself. Sometimes she'll watch the whole thing and she once did one of the yoga videos twice (to perfect her tree pose, I suspect)! I used to think that we had way too many videos in our house. Eight seemed excessive to me until I started looking at what other people had in their homes! Oh, and we picked Saturday and Sunday as "OK" days because my husband is home then and she would much prefer to do things with him. Call me manipulative, but I like to arrange things so that she thinks she has a choice in the matter. Then she can come to the 'realization' that she could watch television if she wanted, but there are other things she would much rather do instead!

[mommybritt]

Ohhh - I struggle with this. I, too, have a dh who loves to just have the TV on. I tend to simply turn it off if dd's around. We watch Baby Einstein videos on a fairly regular basis and have since she was very young. They have kept me sane on more than one occasion - I don't feel any guilt about that

My stuggle is more with evening programming - dd goes to bed around 7:30ish and tends to wake and need to be put back down at least 3 times before we go to bed. Usually it's no problem and I do it willingly but last night she just would not go back to sleep after waking at 8:30 and I REALLY wanted to watch Temptation Island (talk about a guilty pleasure - that show is like watching a train wreck but yet I'm addicted) so, rather than continue to try and put her down and miss my show and (key part here) be resentful that I've lost out on some "me" time, she played while we watched it. She didn't really watch it at all but it was on while she was there :

I don't think TV is inherently not AP - it's all in how you use it.