Do you teach correct anatomical names?

[webjefita]

We just watched a potty training video. I mentioned to DH that I had heard it was best to teach the correct words for body parts (eg penis and anus) and he flipped out! He said that no one talked like that, and we should just teach the usual childhood words, whatever they are. What are the reasons for teaching the correct vocabulary?

[nicole lisa]

We only use the correct words in our house. Why? Because that's what they're called IRL. How many people do you know, in your circle of friends, who say wee-wee or whatever the silly names are.

It's also important to us we teach there is no stigma to any body parts, no shame: that's your arm, that's your toe, that's your vulva, that's his penis etc. There's no difference; they are all body parts. We want to teach respect and awareness and knowledge of one's body. I worry that if we use pet names for anus, penis etc kids could intuit there is something wrong about those parts, that there's a reason they have to use a made up name.

And I also just feet that my son's body is his and he deserves to know the correct names for all of his parts. I know a woman who is pregnant and just the other day she was talking about how much she was aching, and referred to the "elephant ears" in her body. Elephant ears? Turned out she was talking about her pelvic bones. Here's a woman in her thirties, on her fourth pregnancy, and her knowledge of her body is limited. She had no clue what they are or what they are called; imagine how that could hinder her in relaying a concern to her Dr. If my son's anus is hurting I want him to be able to tell our GP that's what's hurting. Bum is not the same thing at all, and wouldn't help the GP in figuring out what was going on with his body.

[calpurnia]

I just read an article about this!

It's time to stop hiding behind euphemisms, for our children's sake

[Boadicea]

Originally Posted by nicole lisa

We only use the correct words in our house. Why? Because that's what they're called IRL. How many people do you know, in your circle of friends, who say wee-wee or whatever the silly names are.

It's also important to us we teach there is no stigma to any body parts, no shame: that's your arm, that's your toe, that's your vulva, that's his penis etc. There's no difference; they are all body parts. We want to teach respect and awareness and knowledge of one's body. I worry that if we use pet names for anus, penis etc kids could intuit there is something wrong about those parts, that there's a reason they have to use a made up name.

And I also just feet that my son's body is his and he deserves to know the correct names for all of his parts. I know a woman who is pregnant and just the other day she was talking about how much she was aching, and referred to the "elephant ears" in her body. Elephant ears? Turned out she was talking about her pelvic bones. Here's a woman in her thirties, on her fourth pregnancy, and her knowledge of her body is limited. She had no clue what they are or what they are called; imagine how that could hinder her in relaying a concern to her Dr. If my son's anus is hurting I want him to be able to tell our GP that's what's hurting. Bum is not the same thing at all, and wouldn't help the GP in figuring out what was going on with his body.

What she said!

[arty_mum]

i have always used real words and once you are used to that, the made up words sound totally ridiculous

[melissa17s]

calpurnia, that article was halarious. I agree that kids need to know what their anatomy is without shame.

[Irishmommy]

We use the real words, but my dh really hates it.

[nycapmom]

We use penis and vagina and breasts and nipples and butt/hiney. That is because those are the words dh and I use 'IRL'. I don't ever say anus for whatever reason... I have seen lots of online debate over the use of Vagina. How it should be called Yoni or Vulva or ? Well Vagina is fine with me Most docs understand it too :LOL

[mamalisa]

We use all the real word here too. Although I can't bring my self to say testicles : we say "balls". I'm so embarassed that I can tell my 4 year old the inner working of my vagina (I'm pg and he's way into it) but can't use the grown up word for one of his body parts. Other than that, we use all the real words, it's just easier. We didn't call them anything in my house, "personal spaces" we never spoke of. I didn't want that for my son.

[4evermom]

I know grown women with children who discovered what a vulva was called because her daughters' started asking "what's this?" Her knowledge had been limited to clitoris and vagina. She told her daughter that her clitoris was a "button" which she was glad about when her daughter started trying to disrobe in a store to show a stranger her "button." The stranger thought the girl was just going for her belly button. She was about 2 and wearing a onsie so she didn't get very far.

However, I believe in teaching correct names. There is no better time to learn them. People too embarrassed to use the correct names now will probably never get around to teaching them later. I would be embarrassed to have my 10 y.o. use a term like "poopy hole" and he would probably be embarrassed to be talking like a baby, but wouldn't have a better alternative.

I remember being 12, visiting grandparent's and having an unusual pain in my side. In an effort to diagnose the problem, my grandma asked about my b.m.'s, a term I was unfamiliar with, so she resorted to the word "poopy" which I think embarrassed her as much as me. I'm pretty sure I would have known what she meant if she had said bowel movement, however! The trouble turned out to be ovulatory midpain, a new experience for me, but we thought it might be appendicitus since it was on the right side.

[Alkenny]

We use the real words here too, though it created a "stir" one time when my older son was little.

He mispronounced (speech impediment) penis as PEANUTS...imagine Christmas-time and my stepdad chomping away on...PEANUTS. DS ran from the room screaming, poor kid!

[Momma2LiamandTara]

We use all the correct words here except for anus we just kinda got in a habit of calling it a bunghole. We will be working on changing that. My sister thinks i'm a bit weird for using the proper names but it's better than pee pee for penis. It's cute to hear ds say testicles. I grew up being shamed of my body and was taught tinkle for vagina?! So I vowed not to do that to my kids.

[thoesly]

Correct names. I volunteer at my church discussing "safe touch" with children. One of the lessons from our orientation was the importance of teaching children the correct names -- the names a doctor would call them. This is important because it eliminates miscommunication if a child has a pain in one of those areas or if someone touches them there. Also, children are less likely to be molested if the potential perpetrator (most of these crimes are committed by people the child knows) knows that the child will be able to tell *exactly* which part was touched.

[LeftField]

Everyone's said all the major stuff, so I won't repeat it. But I will say this. First, if you make a cutesy name up, it doesn't feel less embarrassing to say, IMO. The problem is not the word, rather it's our discomfort in talking about *that* part of the body. Second, it gets SO much easier to say the words over time. I used to feel so awkward about it. Now, "penis" is as easy as saying "elbow". Third, instead of discussing theoreticals to your dh, which might result in discomfort on his part, maybe just start using the right words. Increase your comfort level with them. When I bathe the kids, I usually announce what body part I need to clean, like, "time to soap feet/penises/ears/etc." Maybe your dh will increase his comfort level from hearing it become a regular word.

HTH!

[stafl]

well, we use lots of different words. Everyone has a "crotch" - and that is all it needs to be at my kids' ages. When DD noticed "Daddy's funny belly button" (she has an outie belly button, so it makes sense in context) we had to tell her that was his penis. When she asked about making babies and when I was expecting her sister, she learned about the "birth canal" and now that she's a little older she knows that the birth canal is also called vagina.

anyway, yeah, we use words like "peepee hole" and "poop hole" but we also use the correct terms sometimes too. I don't make a big deal out of it. We have an anatomy CD-ROM that is great about teaching body parts (but I had to un-password protect the reproductive system ) I mean, she should know the word "throat" just as well as "esophagus" - right?

[philomom]

We always used the real names. If any one tries anything with my kids ; at least they will have the language to tell me what the other person touched.


I do not use vagina. When I change clothes in front of the kids, they might see my "lips" but not my vagina. It's tucked neatly away. No one sees that but your midwife and your lover. My dd knows she has one but we use LABIA and VULVA for everyday.

It chaps me to hear a little girl talking bout her 'gina. I mean, that just not correct.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by stafl

well, we use lots of different words. Everyone has a "crotch" - and that is all it needs to be at my kids' ages. When DD noticed "Daddy's funny belly button" (she has an outie belly button, so it makes sense in context) we had to tell her that was his penis.

This just reminded me of ds teasingly offering to nurse me on his penis, the closest thing he has that looks like one of my nipples.

[eilonwy]

He mispronounced (speech impediment) penis as PEANUTS...imagine Christmas-time and my stepdad chomping away on...PEANUTS. DS ran from the room screaming, poor kid!

Oh that poor baby! That's awful, but I can't help but :.

We use the correct terms here, and differentiate between "butt/buns" and "anus" but use both. My son has never seen my vagina, so it hasn't come up in conversation, but he knows that "mamma has a vulva just like BooBah has a vulva!" I don't think we've talked about testicles either, but he does know that he has a scrotum because we had to wash his scrotum after poopy diapers. If he ever asks me about what's inside his scrotum (and I'm sure he will) then we'll talk about testicles.

There are two reasons we have for using the correct terms: the first is that I don't want the kids to think that there's anything weird or shameful about their bodies, and I think that using euphemisms for body parts can contribute to that feeling. The second is that I've read a few books and websites which say that one way to help prevent your child from being chosen by a pediphile is to teach them the correct names for their body parts. Many pediphiles are turned on by the childishness of such words as "peepee" and "weewee." They also don't want to choose a child who has very open lines of communication with their parents, and one who was taught to use words like "penis" and "vulva" by their parents obviously does. It's also much easier for a child who knows the correct terminology to tell an adult what happened, and a child who learned the correct words from the beginning is more likely to tell their parents what happened.

My son has very much internalized the way that Mike and I live: it's okay to be naked in front of people, but it's not polite to touch other people's genitals without permission. He will tell us that his penis is private, that BooBah's vulva is private, etc. He understands that mamma needs to change BooBah's diaper and that involves cleaning her vulva and her anus and her buns, but that changing a diaper is different from just randomly touching her personal body parts. He's learned that it's not polite to play with his penis in public, but that it's okay at home whenever he feels like it, provided that there's no poop on it ( ). He's learned that it's okay for him to tell anyone, even me or Mike, that he doesn't want anyone else touching his body and that he can wash himself if he feels that way (and he frequently does). Thus far, it's all good.

[peaceful herbivore]

I would personally teach the correct names for body parts, but welcome slang words as well. for instance, when I have a stomach ache I may say my belly hurts, not my "abdomen" hurts--although I do know the correct name for it.

I think it benefits children greatly to know the correct names for all their *parts* but once they have a grasp on that, it is cool to use informal or slang terms.

[ShadowMom]

I have always used the correct terminology for my DS, because of threads like this at MDC. I never would have given it much thought if it weren't for threads like this!!

Originally Posted by LeftField

When I bathe the kids, I usually announce what body part I need to clean, like, "time to soap feet/penises/ears/etc."

What a good idea for teaching body parts! I think I'll start doing this.