I don't think I can do this with her anymore . . . - Page 2

[journeymom]

Her therapist, whom I really like, thinks she has anxiety disorder. I'm starting to wonder if it's more than that.

Don't think that a anxiety disorder is trivial. It's bad enough on its own; your daughter doesn't have to have any other disorder to be having a very difficult time of it. There is a difference between being anxious and having Generalized Anxiety Disorder. You should ask her therapist if s/he has officially 'diagnosed' your dd with GAD or if s/he simply believes she's experiencing a lot of situational anxiety.

My dd is 10 y.o. The hardest thing in the world for me to do is to stay calm when she and I disagree on something and she's getting emotional. I've gotten a lot better at it, especially since I've seen how helpful it is for me not to get emotional. I make much more rational choices that way and don't get stuck feeling like I'll lose face if I back down.

If you don't think you can do this with her anymore, then don't. Like someone else said, pick your battles. Make your cardinal laws as few as possible. Maybe limit them to issues of personal safety. Note, I'm NOT saying you should give up being a parent and start acting like her friend. But having that positive relationship makes communication possible when you're aruguing.

Honestly, as a former teen daughter, I really think it's more important to have a positive, healthy relationship with my child than to have spent 18 years towing the line. I don't have a close relationship with my parents. I hope my dd will still want to spend time with me occasionally when she's an adult!