Food=love?

[peaceful herbivore]

I decided to put this here, because although it is dealing with food, I don't think nutrition is the place for it because the root really doesn't have to do with food at all...but of course, feel free to move at your discretion.

I am realistic. I realize food can be enjoyable, and should be enjoyed, and that in nearly every single culture from the beginning of time food has been a main part of celebration, socialization, togetherness, etc. I also agree that the preparing of good tasting, healthy food can be a sign of caring and love and I really don't have a problem with that.

How though, in a society that is seemingly obsessed with food, do we teach our children to have a healthy relationship with it!!?? I think being TV free will aid in that a little bit, as my daughter won't be exposed to 23049237 commercials a day equating food with happiness, security, love, friendship, fun, popularity, all that crap that the advertizers FEED on (pardon the pun) because they know this society has an unhealthy facination with it!

It is one thing to form habits of healthy eating, portion control, organic, vegetarian/vegan meals etc...but how do we teach our children to form healthy attachments to food... as in, it is great to enjoy it, but not to become addicted, or turn to it for comfort, love, out of boredom etc...

It is much more than fear of being overweight, I myself am overweight but I don't even think it is the weight that has caused my unhappiness in certain areas. It is more an unhealthy relationship with food. Don't get me wrong, I am a very happy person and I have overcome a lot of *issues*, but I still find myself reaching for something to snack on when I am bored/hurt/mad etc...I still have issues with portion control, I still have issues of guilt, like even when I don't go overboard, I feel guilty sometimes etc...

How do we avoid passing our hang-ups with food on to our children? How do we teach them to have a healthy relationship with it when it seems every event in the world from parties to holidays revolve around it?

Insights?

[4evermom]

Hopefully by mothering our children enough, they won't "self mother" by eating. Of course, it's not that simple. I certainly eat for comfort and I was mothered well. I know I'd be way worse if I didn't have good mothering or if I'd been given food rewards. Emphasize the company instead of the food at holidays.

[peaceful herbivore]

I agree. I too, think that not having a bunch of weird food "rules" will help too. For instance, I won't force my child to finish everything on her plate. I won't beg, or fight, or engage in a power struggle to "make" her eat. I won't be the kind of parent who refuses any and all "treats" unless someone eats something they don't like or want to eat. I am planning on providing healthy food in our home so that there won't be much, if anything, that our child isn't "allowed" to have. I think that will help a lot too, I think a lot of people develop unhealthy food issues (even if they don't turn out overweight) because of the arbitrary (however well meaning) food rules people place on children.

[sweetest]

I have HUGE food = love issues. I wasnt until I was around dhs family that I realized that not everyone centers family gatherings around the menu. I mean it was so bad when I was a teenager and my single dad didnt know how to punish us (we moved to a town with no friends, so he couldnt ground us, etc) he actually TAPED THE REFIGERATOR SHUT . Ugh and I wonder why I have issues

ITA that not watching TV helps (with so many things). Also, luckliy my dh has a very healthy food relationship - eating to live - kind of outlook. He also like to excercise. I love to read and eat nachos. :

My dad thinks that we love to eat so much because of some cultural inclinations. OTOH, my father is an excellent cook and MIL - yuck! I think I read somewhere that overweight people actually have more taste receptors. I know that when dh and I are eating the same thing I taste it more than him (me: "Does this dressing have dill in it" him "what is dill?") :LOL

We just talked about this recently - BILs stepson (8)is overweight and doc told BIL to put him on a diet. When Dh told me about this we agreed that nephews issues have nothing to do with portion control, but go to his father leaving , etc. I think that dh will talk to his brother about this - its just that in thier family eating for anything else that fuel is a foreign concept.

I think I just wrote a lot without saying much :LOL

We are starting to make holidays about what we do not about what we eat - this is a big accomplishment on my part, because I have learned to show love through food. Luckily we are starting now while dd is young, so hopefully Ill get better at it....

One other thing that I really want to do is get our garden going again (been fallow since dd was born) - I think that eating what she grows will help to respect healthy food.

[philomom]

I am a "foodie". I love food and the taste of food and making food.

I make meals and pack lunches for the kids that are well rounded and healthy.

I try not to eat just because I'm bored or sad. I'm a little heavy but only by 15 pounds. Kids are still tall and slim. I never use food as reward or punishment.

Once a week I make a "treat" like homemade cookies or brownies, we eat them warm and I only make enough for the four of us to snack on and then its gone.

Am I doing okay? I hope so.

[NYCVeg]

I would also say to model healthy eating and a healthy body image for kids. My parents have huge eating issues--my dad is a compulsive overeater and my mom's sense of self worth correlates closely with her weight. My siblings and I watched them yo-yo diet throughout our childhoods and criticize themselves constantly for being too fat. My mom still labels certain foods as "bad" or "good" (in the moral sense). It's impossible not to be affected by those things--both my sister and I have struggled with disordered eating in the past. If you enjoy healthy foods, don't use food as a coping mechanism/reward, and don't obsess over your weight or every morsel that goes into your mouth--that will go a long way toward instilling healthy behaviors in your children, I think.

[rainbowmoon]

:

this is an issue for my DH. and one I don't wish to pass on to our children. it seems every good memory he has from his childhood revolves around food. (his dad was divorced 5x and his mom 4x)

food & tv seemed to be his vice

[LunaMom]

I think my daughter has a pretty good attitude towards food and eating in general. I attribute that to a bunch of factors, including:

- DD was breastfed and learned to regulate her eating based on her own appetite.

- As a family, we have a pretty healthy diet, but not one so restrictive that it doesn't allow for occasional treats.

- We eat dinner together every night, and it is almost always a home-cooked meal.

- We never assumed that children need to be enticed to eat, or that they will not enjoy any foods other than junk - which I think a lot of people do.

- We talk about nutrition.

- We acknowledge that eating is enjoyable and talk about our food when it is delicious - and not only when we are having dessert!

- Natural "un-pickiness" on DD's part. We're lucky.

As for myself, I eat pretty well, but I do tend to snack when I'm bored or depressed. I don't do that in front of my child, though, because I don't want to pass that down to her!