Help my dd wants to Gauge her ear - Page 2

[Kirsten]

Well, you were the only "no" til now....

I wouldn't be ok with it. However, I don't even think double ear piercings are ok... :

When I was a kid, every girl in my class had pierced ears but me. My dad always said when I was 18 or moved out of the house, whichever came first. He died when I was 12. My mom let me when I was 13. I let them grow back - I think subconciously I thought I shouldn't have them at all. Now I wish I didn't have these marks on my ears but they are not a big deal really.

My dd1 has already asked for pierced ears - when she is 13 I'll agree to it. She has quit asking as she can tell I am non-negotiable. But gauging, double piercings, body piercing anywhere but lobes of ears, tattoo - no. I guess I'm just traditional in that sense. I would be ok with odd hair color/style and choice of clothing as that is very temporary IMO.

I am going to go follow that link to see the sizes so at least I seem a bit hip (knowledgable) when the kids start talking about it. I haven't seen anyone in my town with gauged ears so not sure if it has "arrived" here as a phase or not.

[journeymom]

Well, no, I wouldn't want my daughter to do this. I would discourage her. But she's not interested in gauging her ears. And there are worse things than body piercings and tats. Even where getting a job is concerned. I'm guessing that if you're the type who likes multiple pierces and tattoos, then maybe you won't want to work somewhere that discourages it. And at least in Northern California, this life style is common enough that many employers don't care about it.

But- as far as piercings being permanent or not, well I think that depends on the person. Dh had two holes in one ear. He didn't wear earrings in either for very long, before he let them grow over. This was maybe 16 years ago and he still has two very obvious piercings on his ear lobe.

So I don't think you can say that all you have to do is take the jewelry out and let it grow over and it'll look like nothing ever happened. On some folks it's' definitly permanent.

[TiredX2]

I have no issues w/piercing, tatoos or gauging, but I just wanted to add...

*please* please please insist that your DD do this safely. That not only means slowly like already mentioned but with good quality materials, advice from a professional, the correct cleaning schedule, etc...

[Kirsten]

OK, so 10 is not that big... But I would still think that if I opened the door to gauging at all, then how do you say "but no bigger than a 10!" Seems like a "gateway" thing and I'd still avoid it. But that is just me.

[Raynbow]

The younger you are, the better the hole will heal (I.e., return to normal when you stop guaging).

I have a coworker who's son had a large hole - took it out a month before senior pix and by the time his pc was taken, you couldn't even see he had his guaged at all.

My 11 yr old son has his ear pierced and slightly guaged - size 14. I really wouldn't go bigger - partially because his father is vehemently opposed and also because I think he is too young to properly care for it. I also (and this is MY opinion for MY son only... not passing judgement for OTHER kids or parents) think it would be inappropriate for his age to have a bigger hole.

[midstreammama]

I don't have any issues with ear piercing, tattoos, or anything.

Mind you, I wouldn't let my 13 year old daughter get a tattoo or anything like that... I wanted to get one when I was 13 and my mom took me and the tattoo artist wouldn't do one on me because she said I wasn't done growing yet and the skin would stretch.

I would let my daughters get their ears pierced, when they ask me. My 6 year old daughter got her ears pierced when she was about 3.5 years old.
I would have no problem with the gaguing. I am ITA with pp when she said that I wouldn't let them go too big because they can't properly care for it yet.

There are definite reasons why I could day no though. Not just because I think its wrong.

[bright-eyes]

alright here's the info you need to know:
a 10 gauge is about the size of the stick part of a q-tip
ear gaurging is not permanent unless you stretch past a 00
a 00 is larger than the size of a pencil
gauging to a 10 will hardly be noticeable
and she can take out a 10 and will stretch back within a few days
one more thing is that unlike other body mods parental consent is not necesarry for gauging, and it would be very easy for her to gauge without you even knowing it. so i'd let her gauge. its definately not permanent at a 10. and letting her have some freedom will prevent her from rebelling and getting a tattoo or something.

[talk de jour]

bright-eyes, there is no set number at which ear stretching (not "gauging," "gauging" means "measuring") becomes permanent. It is possible to repair larger holes, and some smaller holes (though probably never a 10) become impossible to "unstretch."

[Piercedboy]

A 10 is very, very small. It will close up to a 16 within a few weeks if left without an earring.

I had 3/4 inch plugs in my ears up until about 3 months ago, now they are down to about 00. As long as she doesn't go beyond 00, she should be ok. Stretching should be done very slowly. my DW and I have told our daughter when she is ten she can decide if she wants to gauge up her ears, and no more than 1 stretch every 6 months.

[mommy68]

I would find out first why she wants to do it. If it's just because everyone her age is doing this right now then it's a phase and why allow your child to do what everyone around her is doing? Aren't we supposed to be teaching our children to be themselves?? I guess I don't understand that part, especially with her being only 13 yrs old.

First, I would make her wait a year or two and see if still wants to do it then. She may have different friends with different ideas and at that point something like this in her ear might keep away people that might make friendships with her that would be better for her.

I personally wouldn't allow it with my child. If she is serious about doing it for "herself" and her "own" reasons (which she probably isn't if every other child has done it) then she can wait a year or two down the road. If it's a phase then by that time she will be over it and on to something else.

I would never say I'd let my child do something like this just so they don't rebel and get something worse like a tattoo! Where's the respect I've taught my child up until that point that he/she is supposed to have for me. Things don't work that way in my house. Where does the parenting come in? That's why kids this age need parents and they need limits. They will jump and do anything they see their friends doing "at that moment." She will get past this phase in a few months. I'd tell her no.

[MillingNome]

My dd will not be able to do anything like until she is 18. Anything that can be remotely permanant will have to wait until then.

[MamaWindmill]

Originally Posted by talk de jour

bright-eyes, there is no set number at which ear stretching (not "gauging," "gauging" means "measuring") becomes permanent. It is possible to repair larger holes, and some smaller holes (though probably never a 10) become impossible to "unstretch."

Just as an aside (sorry to be kind of OT), I work in a tattoo shop part-time with a master body piercer, who always refers to stretching piercings to larger holes as "gauging," i.e. "she wants to gauge her ears up, can you get her paperwork going."

[Piercedboy]

Originally Posted by MamaWindmill

Just as an aside (sorry to be kind of OT), I work in a tattoo shop part-time with a master body piercer, who always refers to stretching piercings to larger holes as "gauging," i.e. "she wants to gauge her ears up, can you get her paperwork going."

http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Gauging

Gauging is slang for stretching a piercing. For example, rather than saying "are you planning on stretching your lobes?" you could also say, "how far are you planning on gauging your ears?"

Gauging by most piercers' reactions, this term is annoying at best, and should be avoided at all costs (Note the proper use of the word 'gauging').

[MamaWindmill]

Originally Posted by Piercedboy

http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Gauging

Ha! Weird! Thanks for the link.

[Vermillion]

First, I would make her wait a year or two and see if still wants to do it then. She may have different friends with different ideas and at that point something like this in her ear might keep away people that might make friendships with her that would be better for her

Ouch! That kind of rubbed me the wrong way...

But I can kind of agree. Being a tattooed, pierced and stretched ear mama myself, yes it does keep certain people (ie. judgmental and closed minded) from making friendships with me. Fine by me. It's nice to be able to weed those types out without any effort on my part. Anyone who would be put off from having a friendship over a hole in an ear isn't someone worth giving time to anyway. JMO.

[Piercedboy]

Originally Posted by Vermillion

Ouch! That kind of rubbed me the wrong way...

But I can kind of agree. Being a tattooed, pierced and stretched ear mama myself, yes it does keep certain people (ie. judgmental and closed minded) from making friendships with me. Fine by me. It's nice to be able to weed those types out without any effort on my part. Anyone who would be put off from having a friendship over a hole in an ear isn't someone worth giving time to anyway. JMO.

Yeah!

[mama_bee]

i could be the mean mommy here and say "well dear, if you don't even know the correct term for the procedure, HELL NO."

first, what you're referring to is actually stretching the ears, not gauging. to gauge is to measure. the size of the hole is the gauge. the process of attaining that hole is done by stretching.

second, i'm an aspiring piercer and have quite a few body modifications including formerly stretched ears. i had my ears up to a 2g which is quite large by most mainstream standards. the tip of my finger could easily fit through. my point in explaining is to tell you that after the novelty of stretched ears wore off, i was able to remove the plugs and have them close up back to normal sized piercing holes [about an 18-20g] within DAYS. no permanent marks. this is typical. with proper care, stretched ears close easily and without scarring.

the procedure itself is fairly easy and safe. tapers are used to gently stretch the lobe tissue gauge by gauge and then appropriately-sized jewelry is inserted into the hole. if done by a professional or supervised by one, it's generally harmless. the trouble comes with patience. many people will try to speed the process along by skipping sizes or pushing tapers through too quickly. this can cause trauma and tearing to the earlobes.

i don't have a teen and can't say what i'd do in your position but please understand that this is one of the LEAST permanent and safest body modifications popular amongst teens.

[Houdini]

Originally Posted by Vermillion

Ouch! That kind of rubbed me the wrong way...

But I can kind of agree. Being a tattooed, pierced and stretched ear mama myself, yes it does keep certain people (ie. judgmental and closed minded) from making friendships with me. Fine by me. It's nice to be able to weed those types out without any effort on my part. Anyone who would be put off from having a friendship over a hole in an ear isn't someone worth giving time to anyway. JMO.

I completely agree.

[talk de jour]

As far as society's reaction, I have 9/16" stretched lobes. I have long hair that covers them up, so nobody sees them unless I want them to.

If I worked in foodservice or something that required a ponytail, I might have a problem, but I haven't faced anything... no one at any of my jobs has even known. I think I even have some friends that don't know.

[talk de jour]

Also, you can get earrings that, if not examined too closely, look like a regular earring just with a big, uh... front piece? Not sure what those are called.

Honestly, it's very safe... I started stretching when I was a young teen. I was extremely researched, and it really wasn't a common mod back then, so I did everything correctly. What I'd be scared of now is kids who want to immediately look "cool," as the practice is rather popular at the moment, and try to stretch their ears to huge sizes extremely quickly. This can result in a LOT of damage and trauma to the ears, and the ears would be a lot less likely to "stretch back." (However, I DO NOT recommend doing this as a temporary mod. I think one should only go into the process if they're ready for it to be PERMANENT, because it can be.)
It took me a year to stretch to 4ga, and I'd be really concerned if your daughter tried to stretch any quicker than that.