Most embarrassing thing your child has said or done in public

[Tummy]

I have two great stories, SAME child mind you...
#1. I went to pay my water bill at the anex building in my town. As we are leaving I asked my oldest DS (4) to open the door so I could push the stroller out. I get half way out the door and hear the fire alarm go off!! Look behind me and my DS (2) was flipping the emergency switch up an down! : I wanted to but went back into the office and told them that it was a false alarm and my son had done it. ( mind you, the switch for the alarm was at eye level to a 2 yr old, being handicap accessible) The woman says, 'we still have to evacuate'. So there I am trying to get my kids into the car as fast as possible to leave and I see ppl pointing at me and laughing. I get the kids in the car, begin to drive away and here comes the fire trucks. Eli says, "look mommy. they come for me". he evacuated a 3 story building, aprox 400 people :

#2. Took the kids to a local fishing place. We were walking down the boardwalk and up a ways was a woman walking twards us. Now this woman WAS walking like a hen, chest puffed out, butt stuck out. She was rather OVERLY endowed regardless. My DS (6) yells to the top of his lungs...
"DAMN SHE HAS SOME BIG TITTIES!!!"
OMG I could have jumped in the water! Before I even realized it, I had poped him in the back of his head and said "Eli!!!" He got upset with me and started to cry, says "what did I do, she has big titties mommy, and daddy likes them big." By this time I could NOT STOP LAUGHING! : I had to have a heart to heart about how it was ok for him to look and comment but just NOT to where the woman could hear him.

[peaceful herbivore]

I can comment on something I did when I was little that my Mom still laughs about....

We used to drive my grandmom to church, and one day before chuch I had the photo albums out and was looking through them and saw one of my grandmom when she was younger, and was endlessly asking my mom questions about them...anyway...we were outside of the chuch and my mom and grandmom were socializing and here I say to my grandmom all loud:

MOMMY SHOWED ME YOUR PLAYBOY PICTURE : lol

People were like, chuckling embarrassed and my mom had to explain that I was looking at pictures and that in one of them my grandmom had a PAGEboy (style) hair cut which was explained to me, but I guess I muddled up the words...

That was one I thought of...not too shocking these days I guess but for an older lady in front of her friends at church, you can imagine a bit embarrassing...

[Gidget]

OMG! I am dying over here about the big titties. ROFLMAO! My oldest did the fire alarm trick once. I went to sign him up for headstart and on the way in he saw the red handle. I told him to leave it alone as I talked to the receptionist. I heard it go off and did not need to turn around to know who did it. The worst part was that they still had to evacuate all the kids anyway. And on the way out the door I heard fire trucks. I was sooo embarrassed. It actually turned out that the fire trucks were going to an actual fire elsewhere.

I am told that dh did the same thing in a nursing home. Man, poor poor old people having to be evacuated.

[thismama]

So far all that comes to mind is dd farting loudly and repeatedly while I was talking to the family lawyer at the free legal clinic. But she's young, I'm sure she's just warming up.

[Gidget]

Here's another one. When Eddie was about 3 we went to the store. I was alone in the aisle and took the opportunity to let a silent one loose. Well, it was also deadly. Ds kept sniffing at the air, pew! What stinks! Something smells like dog poo! Yuck! What IS that smell. So, then as an employee makes his way by us, Eddie finally realizes the source and says, Ewwww, mom! Did you fart?!?! And anyone with toddlers knows none of this was spoken quietly.

[momto l&a]

My dd #2 pulled her pant and panties down in an asile of a very busy store because her "because something is wong with my panties" I had the baby in my arms and dh was 20 feet away and I couldnt get his attention very well to come help me with her pants. Dh thought she was getting ready to go pee right there untill I told him what she had said.

[Momalea]

I was in Home Depot with my dd who was about 3 at the time. I was holding her on my hip and asking a question to someone who worked there when dd says (loudly): "I can feel the nipples through your shirt and bra!" (Naturally, she'd been feeling me up the entire time and I hadn't even noticed).

[Tummy]

Originally Posted by Momalea

I was in Home Depot with my dd who was about 3 at the time. I was holding her on my hip and asking a question to someone who worked there when dd says (loudly): "I can feel the nipples through your shirt and bra!" (Naturally, she'd been feeling me up the entire time and I hadn't even noticed).

: I just spit my tea on my desk!

[spsmom]

i think i just pee'd a little! this is too funny. i think this is the first time in a long itme that i am actually laughing out loud. my sides hurt.

i can't hink of anything right now, but i will keep reading for more entertainment!

[Destinye]

These are hysterical keep them coming!

[dynamicdoula]

I have a few. LOL

Most recently:

Niall (4 in a few weeks) walked up to a man who was also waiting for his son to get out of karate class, and said, "You're fat." The man replied, "What did you just say?" Niall repeats: "You're fat. You have a big belly."

Same child, a few days later, to the black woman who was carrying my cart out at the grocery store: "You have brown lips."

Dryden when he was 3, in the grocery store: "Owww!! Stop hitting me!!! WE DON'T HIT!" (I was NOT hitting him! lol)

Niall recently potty trained, and a couple of my favorite stories...

We were at the DMV and I was signing my driver's license while he counted chairs. Or so I thought... I turned around to tell him it was time to go and see him outside (the facade of the DMV was glass), bare butted, whippin it out to pee right there on the sidewalk. LOL

Another time he peed on the chair he was sitting on while we were in the dojo watching Dryden in karate class.

Another time he grabbed my MIL's breasts and asked her if she had milk in them. He did it to my mom, too.

Fun, fun, fun!

[Tummy]

Not done in public, but funny as ****
quick history, my 3 boys are with X husband, 1st DD (Jenna) with X b/f and newby by hubby

ELI.. of course... comes home from shcool and asks "mommy what is a bastard?"
after explaining to him (in front of his older brother, Chaz) he says, "well am I a bastard then?" I told him no, mommy and daddy got married when you were in mommys tummy, so we were married when you were born. Chaz gets a upset look on his face and says..."MAN, that means I am a bastard!!!"
Eli in return says to Chaz,
"Its okay Chaz, Jenna is a bastard too!"

I about died laughing!

[4evermom]

I got my first "why does that women have a big fat belly" from my 3 1/2 y.o. a couple of days ago. We were about 4 feet away and, of course, he leaned in for a closer look while repeating the question more loudly. I was afraid he was going to start following her to examine it more closely! The belly was directly at eye level for ds, and very thinly clad, so it was a very unusual sight for him. I just replied that people come in different shapes and sizes and that's just how she is. The woman looked at him but didn't make eye contact with me, so I didn't say anything to her. I'm sure my son's look of fascination is etched on her memory .

[nycapmom]

My 4yo says a lot of funny things in public but his latest was in front of my ILs "did you know penises come in all different colors?"

[cmb123]

One that sticks in my head..
A few years ago, I was watching my friends son during the day while she was at work. She was so relieved to have him at my house with my lovely AP lifestyle and GD approach to parenting....until..one day, her son (then 4)had apparently gone home with one of my dd's toys without her permission (she had just turned 3 at the time). So, she see's him coming up the walk with this toy in his hand, he open the front door, she comes walking down the stairs and yells "WILLIAM! I"M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"
Yep...that's my girl...

[Vermillion]

This is not a good thread for me right now. I have my DS napping on my lap and I have to pee as it is!

Anyway… My DS is a fart hound. If you even let a small one slip in public and he catches it whiff, he’ll start waving his hand in front of his nose shouting “Peeyew, did you fart? That’s gross.. eww… scusting (disgusting)” :LOL

Another one. He had a little chapping on his penis a while back so I put some Burts bees diaper cream on him. DP called it dick cream now whenever DS sees a tube of cream, he'll shout dick cream. Yesterday, we were at my moms and her husband was looking at his prescription cream for eczema that he has just picked up. DS yells “Toopa (grandpa) is that dick cream for your penis?" We all just about died laughing.

[babygirl24]

My DS, now 14, at about 3 knew his grandmother bowled a lot. She was holding him and she is very large breasted. Well, he got curious and started poking her. We just watched and he finally said "you got bowling ball in there, grandma?" LOL We love repeating it now that he is older!

Same child and maybe a little older I was driving and complaining about the older lady in front of us that coulnt drive. Well as it turns out she pulled into our apartment complex and DS was being very perceptive. He knew which lady it was when we got out and started to scream "hey old lady, you cant drive" I am not sure, but I think I had my hand over his mouth by the word cant. LOL

DD just turned 2 and yesterday at Target she saw the bra section and screamed "lots of boobs mom" She calls the bras boobs. When she sees me put on my bra she says I am "putting on my boobs" LOL

[Red Sonja]

DS is only 6 months, so no stories from me yet. I'm getting a kick out of the others, though!

I have one about my mom's coworker. Her DS was having some difficulty potty training. Coworker and her DS were in Michael's (craft store) one day and she told her DS "if you have one more potty accident, you're going to get a spanking". (yeah, not exactly the best way to go about it) Well, she turned around a little while later to see her DS with his pants down peeing in the fake potted tree in the store! :LOL

[Shenjall]

When my first was younger, he asked me what my tampons were for. I stumbled and said, "uh...they're mummy bandaids".
Fast forward to him being 4 yrs and us spending the day with a male friend I had just started dating. I had cut my finger and as my friend was helping me with it, up runs ds holding a tampon screaming "its okay mummy! I got your mummy bandaid right here!" : Now, I'm not too uptight about these issues now, but back then, and with a potential new beau, I was. He laughed pretty hard; I turned beat red and we stopped seeing each other shortly after.

[party_of_seven]

Just about two weeks ago, I was at the library with my kids. We were sitting at the small tables an putting together some puzzles while we waited for story time to start. A friend of mine walked past us who was about 40 weeks pregnant.

My 3 year old looked at her like . She turned to me and said "Mom, that lady is FAT!" just as loud as she could. (remember, this is in the library)

I turned to her and said, "No, honey, she just has a baby in her tummy".

My daughter looked at me and said, "Well, why did she do THAT?"

I said, "Because she wanted to have another baby"

She just looked at me and said, "How did it get in there?"

:LOL

I headed off the conversation before it could deteriorate any further. Then we discussed it in 3 yo terms when we got home.