Most embarrassing thing your child has said or done in public - Page 4

[AmandaBL]

nak

4 yr old ds had a tampon out of the wrapper and aplicator, and was holding the string & twirling it around really fast over his little head. the bad part was that we were at church, durring the singing, in the 3rd pew. i was standing & he was sitting, so no telling how long it went on. the other church goers were quite amused.

[Charles Baudelaire]

Okay, here's mine.

The backstory: When my dd was about 3, I gave her a few of those low-carb jelly beans, not knowing that they "may cause intestinal distress." They'd never "distressed" me, and I'd had them a few times.

So of course this is on a car trip. My poor child -- and it was all my fault!!! -- having to stop and basically pee out of the south hole every mile or so. Fabulous mom moment.

Anyway, fast forward a few months to the convenience store. We're paying for our stuff when dd notices the candy at eye level, and sure enough, there were jelly beans.

"I don't want to get those jelly beans," she said loudly, and added, "They cause BAD DIARRHEA!!" Turning to the cashier, she said, "I hate diarrhea, don't you?"

The cashier, completely rollin' with the punches, said, "Yeah, honey, but it's better out than in, don't you think?"

"Yeah," said my daughter. "But I'd rather have constipation."


:

[Lisa Lubner]

at our favorite chinese food restaurant...

we're finishing up, my son is walking around checking things out (there was hardly anything there)... i notice him squatting under one of the tables, didn't think much of it... thought he was just chillin under the table...

he gets out and walks over to us at the register (DH was paying for our food)... a TURD rolls out of the bottom of his pants, and onto the carpet!!! scooped it up with a wipe REAL FAST and left. i don't even know if anyone saw, but i still didn't show my face there for about a year.

[Charles Baudelaire]

Originally Posted by WitchyMama2

:



Oh I forgot to add, she asked me the other day totally serious. "Mom? How long does sex last? A couple of weeks?" LOL :

Man, is SHE ever in for a disappointment.

[sagewinna]

When my ds was 3, I was pregnant with his sister... We had talked about girls parts and boys parts, so he was curious as to what everyone else had. We were in church one Sunday, and he was sitting on his Godmothers lap, and asked her very loudly "Do you have a vagina. J****??" I just about died.

Forward a few months, same church, we are waiting for Mass to start. He says "Mom, guess what??" I say "What?" Things quiet down, Mass is about to start, and he proclaims "We match! I have a red shirt, and you have RED UNDERWEAR!!" I had a red face, too!

This was the same child that asked my mom why her nuh-nuhs were so small...

[Azreial]

My ds wanted a baby brother for long time. Well when he was for almost everytime we went out to eat and the waitress would ask him what he would like he would always say "a baby brother" He did that one time when we went out with a fairly new bf for lunch. I tried to cover it up by interjecting with a lunch choice for him but then he yelled "I don't want that I WANT A BABY BROTHER"

[Llyra]

:
(My DD is still too young to embarass me, but I'm sure the day is fast approaching.)

[allbrightmama]

When my father's step daughter (6 yo at the time I think) asked to go to church with him one Sunday he was happy to bring her. About halfway through the service she turns to him and whispers "Is the priest a prostitute?" He didn't hear her so he asked "What did you say?" She repeated very loudly "Is the priest a prostitute?" When my father didn't answer right away she added, again loudly, "Because he is wearing a dress so he's a prostitute right?"
I wish I had been there to see the look on his face!

[umefey]

Originally Posted by allbrightmama

When my father's step daughter (6 yo at the time I think) asked to go to church with him one Sunday he was happy to bring her. About halfway through the service she turns to him and whispers "Is the priest a prostitute?" He didn't hear her so he asked "What did you say?" She repeated very loudly "Is the priest a prostitute?" When my father didn't answer right away she added, again loudly, "Because he is wearing a dress so he's a prostitute right?"
I wish I had been there to see the look on his face!

That's hilarious!!!

[NightOwl]

Well I'm pregnant with my 1st, so he can't embarrass me yet. Ha...unless you count the times my breasts start leaking when I least expect it. :LOL

But I have a lot of stories from my siblings:

Brother S when a toddler was in the store with my parents. He wants something and my parents won't let him have it. So, he's throwing a tantrum and my parents are trying to calm him down. And he starts yelling "Mama, don't beat me! Please don't beat me Mama!" No idea where he got that one from!

When Brother S was around the same age we're in a department store and he's sitting in the cart. I was about 10 at the time. I start noticing this poopy smell and finally figured it out that it was coming from my brother. I tried to tell my stepmom but she was too distracted. So, I walk up ahead of them a ways to look at something and get away from the smell. Well, they pass me in the cart and I go to catch up with them. And notice a trail of turds down the aisle! My brother was pulling turds out of his pants and throwing them on the floor!!! When my stepmom finally realized what he was doing she just got us out of there as fast as she could!

Brother M had a speech impediment until he was about 6 because his tongue was attached to the bottom of his mouth. He couldn't say certain sounds very well. For example, he called "Kool-aid" "Tool-aid." Well, my name is Christie and he couldn't say that correctly. He called me "Titsy."!

When I was 16 I was hanging out with my boyfriend at my house. My Brother K, who was about 7, comes in and asks me why I have lots of little black dots on my nose. He was talking about blackheads. :

When Brother K was about 5 we were at my grandfather's house swimming in his pool. My grandfather was the only one in the pool at the moment and he goes underwater and swims across the pool. My brother yells "Look at the fat boy swim!" lol!! Luckily my grandfather was under water and didn't hear it!

[fiddledebi]

All right, I have one...and it's not my daughter. It's me. :

When I was about 4, my father, a professor at a Jesuit university, had a job interview at a prestigious big 10 university. He had gone through several stages of interviewing and the school had flown him and his family (me, mom, and my 1yo brother) to campus. The department head took us all out to dinner.

At dinner, the first thing I did was spill my ice water into the department head's lap. Apparently he was understanding at this point.

Then, a bit later, he asked me how I thought my dad would like to work at this university. I said, "Is my dad going to be the only Jewish person at this school, too?"

My dad and mom nearly choked on their food. The department head asked if that was generally a problem, and my dad made an excuse about me misunderstanding something he'd said, and that no, of course it's not a problem, etc.

He didn't get the job. Ouch.

[AmandaBL]

"Is my dad going to be the only Jewish person at this school, too?"

Now that's funny! He should have sued! :LOL

[muldey]

I am just : !!This thread is too funny!
Here's one about my ds,he had just turned 3.He was sitting in the van with my friend,who was very pregnant.I had went into a discount store.Ds decided to call everyone who walked by f ing f ers,at the top of his lungs!! (thanks dh! : ) My friend thought it was the funniest thing.She was rolling and telling everyone"he's not mine,I can laugh!"I came out of the store wondering why everyone was staring at my dad's van,and why my friend was laughing so hard.She told my dad and I after we were in the van,when she could catch her breath.

This same child would tell my dad goodnight everynight by saying "Bye f er!".My dad actually got upset when he finally stopped doing that,he said "Saying goodnight to Gabe just isn't the same anymore!"with a sad look on his face, :LOL .

This one also involves the same child.He loves his pacifier,and had one on the table.He asks dh "Daddy can I have my nuky?"Dh-"you mean this one that looks like a penis(it did,but : )" Ds-"it is a penis!" as he shoved it into his mouth,laughing his little butt off.Dh teaches his son such lovely things!

Just today,ds again.He had eaten some saltines with pb and j,and a short while after starts tugging at his diaper."I have to take it off!"he says.He takes it off,and he had cracker crumbs all over his penis.He says"I have a crunchy peepee Mama!Can you wipe it?" :LOL

[mommyofshmoo]

I suppose grandparents don't count as "public", but...

My dd went through a heavy "self exploration" phase during and post potty training. She generally had her underwear off at home so she could go potty when she needed.

Anyway, she was watching tv with grandpa and I was in the kitchen. She reaches down and diddles herself, then smells her finger, then sticks her finger under grandpa's nose and says "Grampa, smell it! Peeuuuu!"



I am very glad my FIL is much more mellow than my side of the family!

[monkaha]

:

I'm sitting here laughing so hard my eyes are watering!! I can't think of anything that DD has said-apparently they were so bad that I've repressed them. :LOL

[sassytap]

I'm so glad I found this! I needed to laugh tonight Afew stories to add. All very LOUD mind you.

Echo at 2 1/2 in the grocery store: "Look at that woman's REALLY BIG pretty butt!" About the large lady in front of us in line wearing brightly flowered pants.

Echo just a week or 2 later walking through the parking lot: "Look how shiny that man's head is!" about the prematurely bald young man walking to his car.

To nana after an unfulfilling piggy back ride: "Mama does it better. She has a good round butt. Yours got "flatted". Nana laughing "Mama has a good round butt huh?" Echo: "Yup daddy likes it too". (needless to say nana has relayed this one to the whole family!)

Echo yesterday after many questions about the pope's death, getting old, how bodies die etc... as we are walking to the grocery store: "Mom! Look how old she is! She'll probably die ANY TIME!"

Saffron 14-18 months whenever we we were out in public: "BOOBIES! I WANNA DRINK BOOBIES!"

Saffron (2 yrs old) lately has started finding flatulence HYSTERICAL. Anything having to do with farting MUST be announced LOUDLY with much giggling and she has figured out how to amplify her own farts in ways that would do any 12 year old boy proud. Not a behavior I want to encourage, but daddy rolling on the floor in hysterics every time she lets one reverberate is not exactly discouraging things. Yesterday in the grocery store she lets one go then loudly giggles "burrito!" Thanks dh The pretty pink dress really added to the moment.

Can you believe I'm still allowed to get groceries after all this?