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Tell me about having boy children...

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
Hi, all. I had a level 2 ultrasound today, and everything looks splendid--it's the only ultrasound we'll get, in all liklihood, so fun to get so many shots of the VERY active baby. AND it's a boy!

I come from a family of all girls (and I mean all--I have sisters, my mom's family is all girls, etc.), but my sister's first baby is a boy, now 2 1/2, who is just marvelous. Here's the thing: if you'd asked me ahead of time if I had a sex preference, I would have said no, absolutely not. And, really, I'm just excited that everything looks good, etc--but I guess I assumed I was having a girl, and am now having a hard time wrapping my mind around the concept of being a mom to a boy. Feeling a little lost, like I don't know what to think. (Yup, I know this is completely illogical, but there you go.)

So tell me--what's it like to have a boy? I guess I know, at some level, because of my wonderful nephew and the amazing job my sister and BIL are doing at raising a happy, emotionally healthy little boy, but I'd love some sense of what I should be excited about. All I can dwell on right now is how the heck I'm going protect Tadpole from all the anti-boy issues--my in-laws not supporting emotional display or telling my guy to "be a man" etc, having baseballs and footballs on all the clothing, etc. (Told you this wasn't entirely logical.)

hoh-boy. now I'm getting a little weepy, so I guess I'm more emotional than I thought. again, really excited, just need some help thinking about this a little.

thanks, all.
post #2 of 25
I don't know exactly what to tell you. Cause when I found out my first was a boy I was so thrilled that I would get to dress him in outfits with tools and sports themes. Since my babies are blondies and don't get lots of hair until 2 1/2, I was happy to be able to buy clothes that would shout to the world I AM A BOY!!!!!!! As for other issues like "take it like a man" or "act like a man" it shouldn't really make too much of a difference since your little man will be learning that it is ok to cry and it is ok to show hurt from you. You just do your best and to heck with what the rest of the world says/thinks. My ds still has very sensitive moments at 5 1/2. There is also no doubt {except when he tries to put on his sisters shirts :LOL } that he is all boy.

post #3 of 25
I'm only daughter to a single mom, raised by my mom and my grandma. I was just like you, I thought for sure I was going to have a girl, no way my body could make a boy. Yet there I was at the ultrasound, going, "What? Where? I don't see it! Are you sure its a boy?"

Fast forward 3.5 years, and I'm so happy he's a boy!
He's so easy! He doesn't fuss about the clothes he's going to wear, he just puts on whatever we pick out for him. There's not a lot of pink sparkly stuff lying around the house. Give him a ball and he's happy for hours. I don't have to explain to him that princesses are not always perfect. Some of the girls in our preschool are just so... GIRLY! They fuss about the shoes they have on, whether they're going to wear pants or a dress, how so and so is not their friend anymore cause she said something mean... I mean, I know boys do some of that too, but I just feel like our son is so prepared to let so much roll off his back.

Hubby's happy too, cause even though he wanted a girl, he feels like "he's got his boy." Understand my husband is not a big manly kind of man, but I think in a way every man wants a son.

So yeah, its all good.
post #4 of 25
Thread Starter 
thanks, both! I'm already coming out of my shock a little--troymama, you hit it exactly. It's not that I didn't want a boy, it's just that I was so sure at some level that I was going to produce a girl.

keep those boy stories coming--I really appreciate it.

on a funny side, we have 3 DIFFERENT ultrasound images of "the money shot", and the dr. even put arrows pointing to the equipment. um, frankly, it was a little hard to miss.
post #5 of 25
I know how you feel. I was the same way with our first...it was kind of like...are you sure? Really? What the heck do I do with a boy?

Well, having a boy as a first, it is hard to explain the differences as you just kind of go with the flow (Honestly, now I woudn't know what to do with a girl?). I wouldn't worry about clothes, just buy what you like when he's young and he'll let you know if he wants to wear something specific later on. As far as the emotional stuff, he will learn the most from you and Daddy.

I'll admit that I was disappointed at finding out we were having a boy, but I wouldn't trade my little Nathan for 10,000,000,00 girls! He's such a sweetheart even though he tests my patience almost daily. Trust me, once you have that little jewel in your arms, you will know what to do. (Oh and when you are changing a diaper, watch out for that diaper lift spray! :LOL )
post #6 of 25
The most important thing about having a boy is, "If it hurt, they'd stop." Bath time is prime penis-playing time around here and I just try not to wince too much. Ds has also recently learned that if he lays on something w/his head lower than his waist he can get his hand down even the tightest diaper.

And honestly, having a girl w/all the nooks and crannies kind of scares me now. W/a boy it's all out there, wipe, wipe and you're done.
post #7 of 25
Love these stories! I have two boys, pregnant again, and while we won't find out till he/she is here my husband is convinced it is a boy. On the other hand, I am beginning to think it is a girl, only because I have been cleaning and organizing like crazy! I used to be a very neat little girl, but that got tossed out somewhere along the line, and I never did get any real "nesting urge" with my other two pregnancies. It could be turning 4o, and being tired of having so much stuff around all the time...plus we just got back from a 7 week trip to Costa Rica, where we could carry everything we needed for 7 weeks. Big difference returning to a big house!

Anyway, about boys! They are wonderful. They are easy...just beware of "golden showers" from your wee one when changing a diaper in the early weeks. Yes, mine love to play with their penises, too, which delights my husband, and always catches me by surprise. (Do they ever really grow up? -- I am convinced that my dh is stuck somewhere in the 6 years to early adolescent stage, he is just taller and has more facial hair...ahh but that is all what makes me love him so.)

My older one is extremely sensitive. He cries about a lot of things, and he is so so so sweet. He is nearly 5 and still goes up to every baby he sees, and wants to caress their heads and give them kisses, and interact. He is a great big brother. His best friend is a girl, but lest you all think something about that, he is very much a BOY. Every stick he picks up is gun. He is a great athlete, very coordinated, learned to ride a two wheeler without training wheels at 4 1/2, can climb to the top of the wall at the climbing gym...

We did have a babysitter who once told him that "big boys don't cry" (he wasn't even 3 yet!) but she was young, and I think she meant well. I told Oliver that it is absolutely OK for him to cry, that I cry, and his daddy cries, and that it is good to get the tears out. (maybe this is why he cries about everything now!) She has not babysat since, either.

Carter will be 2 in 2 weeks. He is a little more daredevilish than Oliver, and I think will be a "tougher" boy. Not sure if it is his sign (Aries vs. Gemini for Oliver) or being the 2nd, or just general temperament. He can definitely throw a tantrum...he lets us know what he likes/dislikes. And he is also very sweet, too.

Both my boys are very cuddly, and I know they adore me. I watch Carter when he still nurses, and he is sometimes playing with me/my nipples in a way that I know I would not have been comfortable with Oliver doing. It is as if he is trying to be very sensuous with me.

They give me big hugs and kisses, and tell me they love me all the time, and if I don't mess up in a huge way as I raise them, I know they will take care of me forever.

People keep asking me if I want a girl, and truly I am not sure...healthy is foremost on my list. I think a girl might be nice, but I am not sure what I would do with a girl! I definitely love my boys.

post #8 of 25
Thread Starter 
Great stories! Feeling hugely better, and starting to imagine life ahead a little more clearly.

Em, love the "if it hurt, they'd stop" advice--I guess it's the ultimate toy, for young boys and old. :LOL

I'll post photos as soon as I manage to scan them in.
post #9 of 25
I was also worried about what to do with a boy. I never dressed my son in anything sports related. There are many plain (and inexpensive) t-shirts and shorts for toddlers and boys that you'll have plenty of choices. Also, it is easy to find teddy bears and stripes on clothes for boy babies.

Now that my son is almost six, he is definitely all boy, but he still isn't interested in sports and rough play. Give him a box of legos and he'll keep himself busy for hours. He has always loved astronomy and dinosaurs, etc. They don't have to be stereotypically rough and dirty to be "all boy".

Also, he doesn't really play around in his underpants that much either. I often wonder how in the world his foreskin will retract, but I'm positive he'll have that all figured out before/during adolescence.
post #10 of 25
Ah yes, the trouble with boy clothing! When I was pregnant with Oliver in 2000 I walked into a nice children's clothing store (can't remember which, and I don't think it was a chain.) I remember thinking that about 3/4 of the store was filled with clothing for girls. 1/2 of the clothing I would not want to dress my son in (big trucks, and dark colors, and pseudo college sport stuff) and 1/2 of what remained, I would not have trouble putting a girl into! Ah the injustice!

post #11 of 25
Originally Posted by oandc'smom
Ah yes, the trouble with boy clothing! When I was pregnant with Oliver in 2000 I walked into a nice children's clothing store (can't remember which, and I don't think it was a chain.) I remember thinking that about 3/4 of the store was filled with clothing for girls. 1/2 of the clothing I would not want to dress my son in (big trucks, and dark colors, and pseudo college sport stuff) and 1/2 of what remained, I would not have trouble putting a girl into! Ah the injustice!

I AGREE! Some stores you go in and there are like 10 racks of cute girly clothes and waaaay in the back there will be two or three racks of boy stuff. (Girls clothes are ALWAYS in front or in a prominante area.) What gives? It is the same way at garage sales, tables of girl stuff and just a few boy's things. Drives me nuts! We have had a boy surge in this area and if I need to get something seasonal, I have to get it right away or his size will be gone by the time I need it, i.e. winter jackets, sandals, swim shorts, etc... Clearance racks are a lost cause because it is always 2 sizes too small.
post #12 of 25
I have loved raising my boy. I was wondering how it would be , considering I am one of two girls, no brothers in sight. It is wonderful. He is delightful and I would be so absolutely excited to be having another boy now.
There is another reason I love having a boy. I really want to raise a conscious, respectful sensitive male . My husband and I talk about it alot. The world needs more guys who don't get sucked into society's role of what a guy should be like. I want to raise Coltrane to respect girls, etc. I consider it a challenge and I am excited to be part of his journey.
As far as things like clothes. not a worry. You will find things you like. I end up making things, buying patches and altering things. There are some cool WAHM companies and the like making cool boy clothes. I dress my guy in alot of colors, but stay away from just about anything with advertising, logos, etc. It is all a matter of choice and every choice is good.
Good luck- it is so much fun.
post #13 of 25
Thread Starter 
These are incredibly helpful--thank you.

Kerri, I'm with you on being excited to raise a self-aware, respectful, sensitive boy--heck, my dh is one of these!

I'm breaking out my knitting needles and whipping up a couple hats, maybe a sweater--and am also going to be avoiding the logos, "I'm a mini sports player", etc. clothing. Not, I'm sure, that that's the biggest issue in the grand scheme of things, but baby clothes are JUST SO DARN IRRESISTIBLE! Now I'm on a mission, hunting through that one rack of boy or gender neutral clothes.
post #14 of 25
Thanks for this thread.

We have a DD and are having a boy this time. I really don't focus on having a girl vs. a boy. I just try to think of them as people and know that we would be dealing with different personalities regardless of gender. And that we will have to adapt and probably learn new ways of parenting with the second.

I have a younger Brother. He is much more laid back (like our Dad) than my Sister, Mom and I. And I think he has learned a lot about women living with 3. He can't stand it when a girl he is dating won't make a decision about something like where they should eat dinner. Maybe it comes from having women around who had/have no problem telling you their opinion!

As for clothing I also try not to buy too many sports things. I have been browsing and really like Target's boy clothes. Great basics in good colors. Shirts with animals on them which I prefer to sports.

My Sister had a boy first and then a girl. She said she finds dressing a girl MUCH harder than dressing a boy. I tend to find most boys clothes to be rather boring! I guess I am used to the bright colors and patterns, matching socks, and hair bows that you can get for girls.
post #15 of 25
I love my boys!

Make sure you point the fire hose south when diapering
post #16 of 25
I wanted to thank everyone too for posting. I'm pretty sure I'm having a boy and have been feeling pretty out to lunch having been raised with six sisters and having a daughter. Thanks for the input and the great stories!
post #17 of 25
I have a girl and a boy.

Babies seem really genderless to me--you just love the little person!!!

Also, please keep in mind that your son deserves his genital integrity, just as any daughter would. Please visit the intact forum here at MDC if you have any questions about the dangers/consequences of circumcision.
post #18 of 25

My thoughts on boys

I have a 3.5 yo and another boy on the way. Most of what has been said here is along the lines of what I would say.

My main thing, I think, is that you just have to focus on raising a good PERSON who will treat others the way they deserve, regardless of gender or any other differences.

I find it very difficult to avoid the boy-themed clothes (in-laws make it even harder) and I get sick of navy blue, red and khaki, but clothing is expensive and I make do. Whenever I can find something w/o flowers or sparklies in the girls' section, I often go for that.

FWIW, my DS is a football FREAK, but also insisted on bringing his baby doll to breakfast this morning. It's a personality thing more than anything, I think.

One last thought, not for flaming: It is important to remember that cicumcising your child is your personal decision. Many people choose this route for valid religious reasons, among others, and they should not be made to feel bad or guilty because of this. While I support sharing information about alternatives to the mainstream, I honestly am uncomfortable with comments regarding something as personal and, potentially spiritual, as this can be.

Congratulations on your baby boy!
post #19 of 25
I was an only child and lived with my mom only from around 10 years old so I was totally kerflummoxed after having my first (a girl) to find out I was expecting a boy for my second. It took a lot of time to wrap my mind around it, LOL. Two years later, I am so thrilled to have the experience of having a little boy. And frankly, as wild and crazy as he can be at times (and hilarious!!), I love that mommy love that boys have. I can't even tell you how much I love having a boy. With the third, I don't care which way it goes...
post #20 of 25
I"m not sure if this is the right place to "say" this because it isn't the "right"thread, but it is the thread where it was originally posted so perhaps this and the other post regarding not expressing our feelings regarding circumsizing can be moved? We all have a tendency to add little quotes, etc. to our signatures, and I believe we should continue to do so. I have yet to find one that is offensive and have chosen to view them as personal opinions (strong ones albeit) and continue to scroll through the posts that are pertinent to the original thread. Also, I sincerely doubt (and hope) that those of us who are opposed quite strongly to circumcision would surely not be opposed to those who do it for spiritual/religious reasons. Just a suggestion.
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