My husband wants a gun - Page 5

[mmace]

I'm the single mom of 3.5 kids, and I have guns in my house. There are two hunting guns that my H (don't really have anything else to call him, because we are still legally married) still has here in storage, and I have a handgun of my own. The guns are all in a locked cabinet, unloaded, with the ammo locked elsewhere. My kids know that they are never allowed to even touch the cabinet, let alone think of trying to open it.

My story is a bit different, guns are kept here for hunting, but they are also here for safety. The difference though, is that my family has a known threat. My sister has an ex-husband who is currently in state prison for the murder of his first wife. He sat on her chest, keeping her from her meds, while watching her slip into a diabetic coma and die. For 20 years he was a free man, until he finally confessed to it after attempting to kill my sister. He is in jail with no possiblitly of parole, but has always said he would escape and kill our entire family. If that ever happens, we would have approximately four hours before he could possibly get here, if the system works the way it is supposed to and we are notified right away. Would I ever want to kill another human being? No. Would I kill him if he came here and tried to hurt my family? Absolutely. Honestly, I think the probability of that ever happening is very, Very, VERY slim - but I am ready to protect my family if it ever comes down to it - not from some random stranger breaking into my house, I really have no worries about that, but from a known threat.

[Mothra]

I can't believe that here, of all places, a mother is being told to IGNORE her instinct that having a gun in a home with small children is dangerous.

If you don't have a gun in your home, your child can't be accidentally shot by a gun you own. Period.

When I hear someone say that they have a gun for "protection", I know that I will never allow my children in their home. Ever. A gun that is kept for "protection" is not stored properly. If it was, it would be completely useless against an intruder.

At the age they are now, I would not allow them to spend time in a home with guns regardless of why the guns are kept. It is too dangerous. If my brothers and I played with guns when we were little, I have no reason to believe that my child wouldn't. I know that statistically my child is far more likely to be injured by a gun in an accident than by a criminal. Guns in the homes of our friends scare me a hell of a lot more than a burglar.

[zipperump-a-zoomum]

Originally Posted by Mothra

When I hear someone say that they have a gun for "protection", I know that I will never allow my children in their home. Ever.

I don't let my kids play in houses with guns, either. When they get older, I'll allow them to make that decision.

I think the op has already decided that they're going to keep the gun out of the house.

And actually, I kind of feel like I've hijacked her thread. Sorry!

Kaly

[applejuice]

I agree with you zipperump-a-zoomum.

When my DD, DS, DS, and DS were littler, I never let them go into anyone's home if I knew they had a gun/guns.

My children are grown now and I am all alone...so I am in a different situation, so I adjust.

[newmommy]

Originally Posted by Mothra

A gun that is kept for "protection" is not stored properly. If it was, it would be completely useless against an intruder.

I agree. Everyone would be dead by then...

[Harper]

When I hear someone say that they have a gun for "protection", I know that I will never allow my children in their home. Ever. A gun that is kept for "protection" is not stored properly. If it was, it would be completely useless against an intruder.

for some of us the very idea of taking a class that concerns the use of something that is primarily designed to take life feels strange and wrong (for us).

What would you do if someone came into your home? Stand there with a baseball bat?

Seems equally as effective as running around the house unlocking gun cabinets, reassembling guns and running someplace else to get the ammo and loading the gun and then shooting someone.

[girlndocs]

What would you do if someone came into your home? Stand there with a baseball bat?

Heck yeah. Or a chair, or throw the contents of a pan from the stove, or kick over the computer desk or bookshelf in his path, or run out the back door, or or or. All of which are far more instinctive reactions to me than:

running around the house unlocking gun cabinets, reassembling guns and running someplace else to get the ammo and loading the gun and then shooting someone.

and have the added benefit of reducing the chances that my children or I will be shot with our own gun to zero

Oh, and my comment about the weekend training course was meant to point out that to me, the idea of 48 hours of training to handle a weapon capable of (and designed to do) such huge damage in such a split second is absolutely ludicrous. More so if you asume that the weapon will be handled at a time when adrenalin is high.

[UnschoolnMa]

Who told her to ignore her instincts? I may have missed that post.... Some of us were just discussing our own personal take on the issue. (And yes, I feel the need to apologize for any hijacking of this thread)

To the OP: by all means stick to what you feel is right. Discuss and debate with your Dh or whatever you need to do. Much luck in getting the issue resolved in a positive way.

[Red]

I used toknow some people who belonged to a gun club. Some of the members stored their guns there, to avoid transporting them and to keep them handy. This might work for you.

If not, be smart. Trigger locks, safety on, no ammo stored IN THE HOUSE, ever. Ammo can be bought and used up, stored at a friends, kept in the smallest storage locker available, whatever. (So could the guns, be kept at a storage facility, I mean.) I grew up with guns in the house, 40 foster brothers and sisters. Everyone knew where the guns were, but I never saw, or was told of anyone who saw, any ammo, except for once! I just remembered that instant. My ffather once had a few bullets in his pocket! How safe was that? Anyway, no ammo, no accidents.

I didn't read this thread! Your a glutton for punishment, because this looks like it might take on a life of it's own.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by Red

I used toknow some people who belonged to a gun club. Some of the members stored their guns there, to avoid transporting them and to keep them handy. This might work for you.

That's a terrific idea

[dallaschildren]

Originally Posted by zipperump-a-zoomum

For me, empowerment comes from refusing to change how I live my life and my core beliefs about violence after having been assaulted.

Again, different means to the same end?

Kaly

I don't mean to be contrary...honestly...but I wonder how being assaulted as you were...how could that NOT change you in some way? (my statement is meant mostly as rhetorical and if you do not want to comment for personal reasons I totally understand). For example, I always lock my doors now and I keep the alarm on even while home. I go on about my day and don't dwell on it, but technically it changed me because I hardly ever locked my doors and never put the system on while at home, before. It is now second nature. It is automatic for me. It's relatively small in the grand scheme of things, but technically it changed me...I am more aware of my surroundings, of my neighbors, and of my "sixth" sense.
And yes, ITA with different means to the same end.

[Past_VNE]

I know it has already been resolved for the OP, but I'll post my story anyway.

We are a gun-owning family. Always have been, always will be

For me, growing up, my mother kept a small cheap pistol in her nightstand, loaded. I was given no training and never told about it. I overheard its discussion once and then went and checked it out in secret. Thankfully, I was ALWAYS a very careful child.

DH grew up with a gun aficionado for a father. He collected various special guns...a WWI German Luger, a WWII Japanese something or other, he had many special and interesting guns. He also hunted and kept a few for protection. In his line of work, he was in scary places sometimes. He kept a pistol in his truck for that reason and for finishing off an animal if he injured it badly by hitting it.

I started DH when I was 16. His parents taught me proper gun handling, cleaning, safety, firing, etc. I have since practiced extensively and am competent with many sorts of arms.

I intend, in about 2 weeks, to exercise my right as an American citizen, to obtain a permit to carry a concealed weapon. How often will I carry? I don't know. That's neither here nor there. It is my right and rights which are not exercised are lost.

I believe in extreme care with children and guns.

My MIL tells a story about my DH. He was at a friends house when he was about five years old. The friend goes and gets a loaded gun to show the other kids. He had no training. Five year old DH takes the gun from the other child, unloads it, put the bullets in his pocket, returns the gun to the kid and tells him to put it away. He then gave the ammo to the parent when they arrived.

It's a call every family must make. I want my child to grow up educated and as a good shot. I also will protect him from his childish impulses.

[SerenaWSU]

My husband brought home a gun

My husband's family has always been really big into guns. They dress up like cowboys and go shooting at a range and it has always been a big part of my husband's life.

Last Christmas his family bought him a gun. I was so furious that they did not ask me first. I have always been against having a gun in my house. Anyone else can have a gun in their house, I really don't care. I just don't want it in my house. I made his dad agree that he would keep it in his safe at their house and we were all happy.

However, several months ago, my husband's dad came over to take my husband to a gun show. I didn't have a problem with this as long as he didn't bring home a gun. My husband was upstairs fiddling with something and I mentioned something about why it was taking him such a long time. My husband's dad said he needed to get his gun. He had been keeping it at our house all along. I was so upset. I let them leave and I just cried.

When he came home I spoke with him. He lied and said that he had said that he had told me a long time ago that it was there. We had a big fight and it was unresolved. Pretty much anytime I have a problem with something it never gets fixed but that's another issue.

We got into another fight last month about the gun and I went looking for it. I found it in my computer desk in the locked drawer. I picked it up and noticed that it was loaded. There was no reason to have a loaded gun in our house. He lied again and said that he had already told me where the gun was.

I really did not want a gun in our house and I made a deal that he could buy a motorcycle (we are tight on cash so that was really the only thing holding us back) if he got rid of the gun.

He bought the motorcycle but then said he had never agreed to our deal. The gun remains in our house and I'm at my wit ends. I just can't stay in this house and I feel like he would choose it over me. We've been together 9 years now and I just don't know what to do.

[Snowdrift]

Quick comment to those who have commented that a house that keeps guns "for protection" is never safe. In many cases this may be true; the house may not be safe for a child familiar with guns. But there are a lot of new technologies out there, particualrly biometrics. A friend of ours has good reason to have loaded handguns very handy.

He has biometric/digital combination safes, one in the bedroom, one near the door. To open them requires a thumbprint from him or his wife and a 4-digit code punched into a keypad. It takes less thana second for him to acces, his wife a fraction of a second longer, and it cannot be opened by anyone else. Should the biometric device fail, the 4 digit code is also required. He changes the code once a month.

Pretty safe.

DH and I are gun owners too. We do not have them accessable for protection but hope to move to a more isolated area at which time we will reevaluate and obtain the necessary equipment. I hunt, he target shoots and we both shoot clay pigeons. I got mine first.

[MomInFlux]

Originally Posted by SerenaWSU

My husband's family has always been really big into guns. They dress up like cowboys and go shooting at a range and it has always been a big part of my husband's life.

Last Christmas his family bought him a gun. I was so furious that they did not ask me first. I have always been against having a gun in my house. Anyone else can have a gun in their house, I really don't care. I just don't want it in my house. I made his dad agree that he would keep it in his safe at their house and we were all happy.

However, several months ago, my husband's dad came over to take my husband to a gun show. I didn't have a problem with this as long as he didn't bring home a gun. My husband was upstairs fiddling with something and I mentioned something about why it was taking him such a long time. My husband's dad said he needed to get his gun. He had been keeping it at our house all along. I was so upset. I let them leave and I just cried.

When he came home I spoke with him. He lied and said that he had said that he had told me a long time ago that it was there. We had a big fight and it was unresolved. Pretty much anytime I have a problem with something it never gets fixed but that's another issue.

We got into another fight last month about the gun and I went looking for it. I found it in my computer desk in the locked drawer. I picked it up and noticed that it was loaded. There was no reason to have a loaded gun in our house. He lied again and said that he had already told me where the gun was.

I really did not want a gun in our house and I made a deal that he could buy a motorcycle (we are tight on cash so that was really the only thing holding us back) if he got rid of the gun.

He bought the motorcycle but then said he had never agreed to our deal. The gun remains in our house and I'm at my wit ends. I just can't stay in this house and I feel like he would choose it over me. We've been together 9 years now and I just don't know what to do.

With all due respect, you don't have a gun problem. You have a relationship problem

And to MDC!