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Older Father

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
I'm forty-nine years old, married and have a two year old son. It's been going really well. My boy is healthy and absolutely a beautiful child. I feel really blessed to be a father at my age. I feel good, I could probably take off about five or so pounds, but otherwise in good health. My wife is twelve years younger that me.

I have a son from a previous marriage who's twenty-five. Wow. Starting over again.

Just curious if there are other fathers out there in a similar situation and how you are coping.

Ron
post #2 of 29
Ron,
i know this is for dad's...but I couldn't pass by your post without saying something.
My dh is 50 this year...together we have two boys, ages 6 & 4. Trying for another.
He has a 27 year old son from his first marriage, who has twin boys, age 7!
Yes, that makes us grandparents!!!!

:LOL

I am 17.5 years younger than him.


madly in love with my "older" husband!!!!


Thanks for sharing!!!!!!!
post #3 of 29
I am not a dad either; however, my little brother was born when my dad was 51. He has four other kids -- 33, 32, 31, and 15. I joke with him all the time that he just wanted one from every age group. He absolutely loves being a father at an older age. His wife is now 39. They talk about having another baby at some point. I figure more power to him.
post #4 of 29
Just so you know... there is a whole group of us over in Tribes.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=185834

we're not dads but we're moms.. and some of us are married to dads who are older. You are welcome to come hang out with us...

I'm 47 with a 3 year old. I went through the 70's, 80's and 90's...with no children.. then 2001....well, lets say it is a whole new life for me.

visit us.
post #5 of 29
My DH was 41 when we had our #1 and he was 53 when we had #4.

He had no previous family that we knew of -

My own father was 39 when I was born and he was 57 when he and mom delivered their 9th child UC.
post #6 of 29
Dh is 51, I'm 32, ds is 4 months. Dh has 3 adult kids who are 24, 26, and 28. He's gotten a couple rude comments but mostly things are going great. It's hard not to be anxious about what will happen ten or twenty years from now.
post #7 of 29
uuelisabeth -

no one can tell you what is going to happen in the next ten - twenty years. I am widowed, but one of my DD's friends married soon out of high school to her high school sweetheart...she was married just one year; he died of a heart attack in his sleep at the ripe age of twenty-two.

I know of a man who is in his nineties and has outlived four wives, all younger than him.

No one knows what is down the road, just be prepared, but enjoy the present time.
post #8 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice
uuelisabeth -

no one can tell you what is going to happen in the next ten - twenty years. I am widowed, but one of my DD's friends married soon out of high school to her high school sweetheart...she was married just one year; he died of a heart attack in his sleep at the ripe age of twenty-two.

I know of a man who is in his nineties and has outlived four wives, all younger than him.

No one knows what is down the road, just be prepared, but enjoy the present time.
Thanks for the response!
post #9 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice
My DH was 41 when we had our #1 and he was 53 when we had #4.

He had no previous family that we knew of -

My own father was 39 when I was born and he was 57 when he and mom delivered their 9th child UC.

Thanks for the encouraging words!
post #10 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by uuelisabeth
Dh is 51, I'm 32, ds is 4 months. Dh has 3 adult kids who are 24, 26, and 28. He's gotten a couple rude comments but mostly things are going great. It's hard not to be anxious about what will happen ten or twenty years from now.


Thanks for the encouraging words!
post #11 of 29
I'm 31, with a 2 month old daughter. DH just turned 40 with 14 year old twins from his first marriage. We're fortunate to have a very good relationship with his former wife.
I sometimes get nervous too, as I lost my dad 3 years ago at the age of 57, but then I tell myself how silly I'm being. And dh's father was 52 when he was born, and 29 years older than my MIL.
post #12 of 29
My DH is going to be 56 next week. We have two children, 6 and 1-1/2. (I am 42). He is in better health than most people half his age and really adores his kids. I think it might be wierd for him in that most of his friends have kids already in college or with kids of their own. But he certainly has never mentioned a downside. In an unusual twist, he actually retired from teaching one week after his son was born! So now he gets to really watch them grow up... I did push him to start going to the gym, though!
post #13 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmsMom
My DH is going to be 56 next week. We have two children, 6 and 1-1/2. (I am 42). He is in better health than most people half his age and really adores his kids. I think it might be wierd for him in that most of his friends have kids already in college or with kids of their own. But he certainly has never mentioned a downside. In an unusual twist, he actually retired from teaching one week after his son was born! So now he gets to really watch them grow up... I did push him to start going to the gym, though!


Thanks for the response! I hope to get in fifteen more years of teaching. Best to all.
post #14 of 29
My dad was 45 when I was born, I was the oldest by his 3rd wife!

Then my sister 3 year later, then 4 adoptions, the youngest is 12 years younger than me.

My dh was 40 when our youngest were born. Plenty of others at school functions in the same age category.
post #15 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red
My dad was 45 when I was born, I was the oldest by his 3rd wife!

Then my sister 3 year later, then 4 adoptions, the youngest is 12 years younger than me.

My dh was 40 when our youngest were born. Plenty of others at school functions in the same age category.

Thanks!
Best to your family.
post #16 of 29
Er... forgot to mention when I posted before that I mostly think dh being an older father is advantageous! He has so much to share. He knows a lot about life and has a heart that ages like a fine wine. Except for the being afraid to lose him (ever!) part, I think we made a great decision to have a baby while he's in his 50s.

Anyway, welcome to the boards, Ron! Good thread.
post #17 of 29
My husband is 55, and I will be 30 this month. Our dd is 5 1/2 months and we'd like to have one more in about 15 months. This is his first (and only! ) marriage, and his first time as a father. DH is very health conscious, and beyond making appropriate financial arrangments for the kid(s) and me God forbid something should happen to him, we never think of his age as an impediment or anything...fatherhood will keep him young! Sometimes if I am going through a worrisome period (I am a chronic worrier : ), I go through the what if's in my head, but the reality is that you just never know what is going to happen in life. Marrying someone the same age as you doesn't guarantee anything.
Some might think of our age difference as problematic, but when we decided to take our relationship to the next level of marriage/children, his age would have been a stupid reason to not do something we both wanted to do. I was sort of suprised that no one at all had anything negative to say.
We're so alike in some ways, and complement each other in other ways...I could not ask for a better friend, dh, or father to my child(ren).
post #18 of 29
My husband just turned 49, we have a 3-year-old and one on the way (I'm 31). Most days, especially now, he has more energy than I do! He has no previous marriage or children - we got married when he was 40 and I was 23.So far, it's been working really well!
post #19 of 29
My Mother and Father were both 40 when I was born. They had 3 kids already ages 15, 13, 12, and then SURPRISE! My Mom told me when my
Dad found out he had very mixed feelings about it. He was worried he
was scared. Now when people ask him how he looks so young, he will
point to me and say, I had to keep up with this one. Well now that he
spends so much time with my dd, she has become the one that keeps
him young.
I believe older parents can make the best parents. The life experence
you have to give to that child is so valuable. My Dad was so calm and
patient with me. He had more time to spend with me one on one.
I would love to have more children someday. Because of my parents I
am in not such a hurry to make things happen, instead I allow then to
happen. (That might not have come out right, but I think you see the
positive side of what that statement means). While a few of my friends
are in a hurry to have children cause we are all turning 30. While I am
planning on waiting a good 5-8 years to try for another.
My sister had her children at age 35 and 40. Her husband is 7 years older
than she is. She said that helping care for me taught her that she had
time to have children later on.
post #20 of 29
I'm in my early 40's & have a 20 mo DS.

I love it as I get to look back on my prior parenting style & nix all the crap.


there's something with being a tad older I can't expalin but it's great
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