I need some advice, inspiration, something...

[paisley]

I am not sure where to start (or even if this is the right forum), but I feel like I am missing something. I am a 24 y.o. SAHM to an amazing and bright 22 m.o. boy, I have a wonderful husband, and we live in a cute house with a big backyard. There is so much in my life to be grateful for, so many ways that my situation could be worse, but still I don't feel happy. I feel so tired all the time, like the days are just dragging. There is so much that I want to do for/with ds but I can't gather the energy for it. I feel badly that I am not doing enough for him but at the same time I want to run away.

Does anyone else feel like this? I am trying to figure out what it is and what I can do to make things better. Any advice and hugs are appreciated.

[Simply Nurtured]

Nobody told me this when I was your age, but over time I figured it out.

You have to take some time for "mama". You have to do things to energize you, to "fill" you up.

I know what we all say and think, that there is not enough time in the day. I am not talking about hours, I am talking minutes, to start with.

Exercise is really beneficial, even if it is 10 minutes of yoga or 20 minutes of walking. This would be my first thought of a goal you can set for yourself - Exercise. Regular exercise will bring more energy to you.

The library was always my refuge when I was a young mama. It is not easy when you have a small child to go places, but mostly I found nice people at libraries who did not mind a little one who was a little fussy.

I have learned many things from books. Try out all different types of hobbies and crafts, see if there are any JUST for you, that become dear to your heart.

Everyday, take time to have a cup of tea or two.

Just the ritual of tea is very relaxing and energizing at the same time.

Every minute you spend with your child, one on one, is meaningful, you don't have to jump through hoops, simple things can be lots of fun.

If you want to talk more, please feel free to contact me.



~Wanda

[Turtle Woman]

I second Wanda's post! I still feel the way you do at times and it's usually because I am neglecting me. When DS takes a nap I try to read or do a project or something I want to do. Yoga helps a lot also even just for 10 minutes.

[4evermom]

I definitly felt the same way. I took naps with my ds when I was tired, read if I wasn't. It took all my energy just to meet his demands let alone accomplish anything else. And I get depressed if I can't create on some level, if only making striped homemade popsicles. About all I did was take long stroller walks to a couple thrift stores. Mostly I followed him around and facilitated his exploring what interested him. 2 is a hard age because they don't play well with other kids yet, they have a short attention span for projects, they have little stamina for long outings. Now that my ds is 3 1/2, it is suddenly so much better. I rarely feel like running away these days and I had been having some very serious fantasies involving living alone in a cabin on a mountaintop.

[TranscendentalMom]

I can definitely relate...I don't feel that way all the time but there are moments. When my son turned 2 I think the years of sleep deprivation and lack of time to myself caught up with me. I started feeling bored and restless. I ended up enrolling ds in a Montessori morning preschool 3 mornings a week from 9-12. It has done wonders for BOTH of us. He adjusted wonderfully and I noticed a major improvement in my happiness level. He has a lot of energy he can get out at school and I get some time to myself. Usually I do errands or bookeeping for our business but some days I just go to a coffee house and read...take a long bath or whatever I feel like. The thing thats so great about it is that when I do get time to myself I APPRECIATE my life so much more. I also have a great husband, ds is such a wonderful, beautiful child, we have a successful business, nice house etc. So it almost depresses me to get depressed because I know I shouldn't be, kwim? Anyway, I feel like I can't give to my son if the well is empty so I have a responsibility to fill it up once in awhile. Good luck!

[Proudmomoftwinsplusone]

I have no energy either. I am thinking it is partly due to the gray, dreary weather we have been having for 5 months now. I can't wait for summer and some SUN.

[septmommy]

I feel the same way. I feel so worn out yet I feel like I am not nearly as good of a mom as I aspire to be. And #2 is due in 2 months so I am really freaking out. We have co-slept since he was born, but last night we let him fall asleep in his own room and just having those couple hours really made a difference. He's asleep in there again tonight and I am enjoying my free time.

[ctdoula]

Wanda is a very wise woman

You need to find something for YOU!!! A hobby, a class, an interest outside your child! I'd go CRAZY if I was 'only' home with my dd. I work 4hrs twice a week as a Lamaze teacher & LOVE it. It keeps me sane. I also have our diaper business, which is also an important creative outlet. I know without these 2 things, I'd be totally miserable.

[paisley]

Thank you all so much for your replies. Just knowing that I am not the only one who feels this way is a bit of a relief. And I agree that it is time that I do something to replenish myself. It's funny because I know I have given the same advice to others, yet I haven't applied it in my own situation. I think I am going to start taking better care of myself by getting to bed at a better hour, so good night all and thanks for helping me feel better.

[newmommy]

Thank you for this thread, I'm not just tired, I am exhausted.

I WOH 70 hours per week (including the commute) 6am-6:30pm Monday-Friday AND I come home and deal with a 20month old toddler. Who is a ball of energy and has the "Five O'Clock Frazzles"

You see: He save his tantrums for me

He is home with DH (Work at home dad) during the day, I take over nights and competely on weekends.

I parent intensely from 6:30-11:00pm it is all about DS...I am still in my work clothes and I have not eaten by this time

and THEN, DH wants Sex!!!