Why is it that mostly women have a problem with seeing a mother NIP?

[chersolly]

From my experience (YMMV*), it seems like it's other women who have a problem with seeing a mother NIP. Men, usually, pretend that they see right through you and your nursling, acting as if you don't exist. But women? If they aren't the NIP type, they give you the stank eye, the evil eye, a tisk, etc. Why is that?



*your mileage may vary

[soccerchic21]

I have noticed that as well. I don't really have an educated answer just a bunch of guesses why.

Maybe they couldn't breastfeed and deep down when they see us NIP happily it makes them upset.

I think that most women really see their breasts as sexual in our warped culture.

Or it is so engrained in some of these women's heads that brestfeeding should be hidden that they see us as doing something socially wrong.

[HeartsOpenWide]

:

Originally Posted by chersolly

But women? If they aren't the NIP type, they give you the stank eye, the evil eye, a tisk, etc. Why is that?

They probably feel guilty that they did not do the best for their child and chose not to breast feed, or they are just ignorant. :

[Calidris]

err, because men are glad to get any glimpse of an exposed boobie?
because the women are thinking of their husbands getting that glimpse? :LOL
being silly there, but maybe it is that men see it as nurturing (but still take their quick ogle and get go on with their business ) while a lot of women (esp the sort to disapprove of NIP) have never nursed, and don't equate it with nurturing.
***** Just a random ramble *****

[KoalaMommy]

I was wondering if it was because they were convinced that formula feeding was best when they had babies. And those who did breastfeed, being in such a minority, were probably very private about it. You know how older people just get set in their ways, maybe this is another example.

My dad's girlfriend didn't breastfeed and she's totally freaked out by me when I do it around her. Not that that stops me, I kinda like that it freaks her out and that my dad sees it. His babies were breastfed and so was he, so he knows what's best and I keep hoping he'll wake up and see how lame his girlfriend is! :LOL

Don't you just feel sad for these ladies? They missed out on so much, and they're bitter and angry now for it.

[mommymarliah]

They probably feel guilty that they did not do the best for their child and chose not to breast feed, or they are just ignorant.

I agree, I think guilt is alot of it....I have noticed that women seem to be the ones who give nasty looks too.

[annettemarie]

Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, and guilt.
And maybe a little jealousy.
But mostly guilt.

[ShelleyMom2in2]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, and guilt.
And maybe a little jealousy.
But mostly guilt.

ITA!!!

A little OT here but whenever Im around lots of young girls/teens I bfd DS. I want them to see that its normal and breasts arent purely sexual...I also want them to know perfect porno boobs are NOT the norm!!

I think Ive bfd in every food court in Phoenix and Las Vegas

[NoraB]

I've noticed that women are the most vocal about it. I think a lot of men are freaked out about it, but don't say anything. I've heard lots of women who say their DH's won't "let" them NIP. *blech*

[Firemom]

Isn't that the truth!

I find women not to be supportive of breastfeeding in the workplace either. I work with mostly males (firefighter) and not one, NOT ONE of them was unsupportive.

1% of the dept is women and 95% of them had something negative to say to me about breastfeeding.

Go figure!

[Momtwice]

I think that it has to do with opression, about being the low one in the social hierarchy.

Women are discriminated against, sneered at, criticized, kicked out sometimes for breastfeeding (and for other reasons to do with being a woman). So they turn around and do it to other moms when they feel that they are/were powerless.

IMHO I've had this experience with nurses. The doctors boss them around and treat them like dirt, so they sometimes pick on the patients. (Yes I've also had wonderful loving awesome nurses, but not always.)

Or racism. My gut reaction, right or wrong, is that I'm even more horrified when I encounter someone from a marginalized ethnic group being racist toward another group (than I am if they were upper middle class whites.) Shouldn't they know better? I think. Wouldn't they be reluctant to discriminate, to hate, having been on the receiving end themselves? No, not always.

I do think it has to do with their own problems. Seeing a mom nursing brings up powerful feelings and if they had a bad time or were put down, they need to unload on someone else to feel better.

And let's face it, some people are just negative about everything!

[MommytoTwo]

Like someone said, mostly guilt with a little jealousy.

[katja]

I think that it's wishful thinking to say that it's guilt or jealousy. I think there are a lot of women (and some men, like my brother) who really think its gross, dirty and perverted. I just think women tend to be more willing to say things or make faces, especially if they believe they're protecting their families and society from hippie perverts.

[MamaTT]

Katja, I have to agree.

[philomom]

I think it must be an esteem issue. The worst looks and comments I got always came from a type of women who look "fat and fashionable".

[ShelleyMom2in2]

Originally Posted by katja

especially if they believe they're protecting their families and society from hippie perverts.

<------proud hippie pervert lol

[wednesday]

Well...I think a lot of men are just less likely to care about what is supposedly "appropriate" in public. We all know dudes who think nothing of farting, belching, ball-scratching, etc. no matter where they happen to be. I think a lot of men don't notice or have an opinion on what other people do in public places.

[Jane]

I agree with wakeUpMama, I think. Women are typically the morality monitors of society. Who cares enough to make social change an issue? It's usually women. It's just an outward manifestation of the fact that women are often self-appointed "appropriateness monitors" and that not all women agree.

[Janice in Canada]

I think that it has to do with opression, about being the low one in the social hierarchy.

I agree.

I think its the same reason that female genital mutilation continues. I've heard that its the women (grandmothers, mothers, MIL's) that often are the ones to strongly make sure that that young girls get circumcized like they did. They force that girl to fit with societies expectations of women. And they went through it themselves. Its like how if a child who was abused, it is more likely to abuse.

And I think it has to do with how we learn social rules. Women teach women how to be women, men teach men how to be men.

Janice

[Kari_mom]

In addition to the opinions expressed above, I want to add that I also think men have become quite 'gun shy' about becoming involved in any situation where they could be accused of being a sexual pervert. My husband has talked about this, it is a real fear for him.