Why is it that mostly women have a problem with seeing a mother NIP? - Page 2

[Viola]

Originally Posted by Momtwice

IMHO I've had this experience with nurses. The doctors boss them around and treat them like dirt, so they sometimes pick on the patients. (Yes I've also had wonderful loving awesome nurses, but not always.)

I've observed this type of behavior too when I worked in a hospital.

[Messac888]

Just my 2 cents worth, but look at all of the "feminine products" that are on the market these days? Who buys into the belief that women's bodies are dirty, smell funny, or should be hidden from public view? Women who are ashamed of their bodies!!! I grew up in a family where women were raised, unknowingly, to be ashamed of their bodies. Instead of wearing crotch deodorant, I had an eating disorder. (I'm great now.)

I freak my mom out now- I don't shave, I speak out when necessary (and sometimes when it's not) and I definitely don't wear crotch deodorant! Honestly, do you think there are ANY men out there who would buy deodorant to "eliminate unwanted odors" aka ball sweat? I think not!

Maybe these women who are tsking at all of us bfing our beautiful, healthy babies in a (gasp!) PUBLIC setting are embarassed to see us nursing because we're being unladylike- "we should be ashamed of ourselves" because they are.

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Originally Posted by Messac888

Honestly, do you think there are ANY men out there who would buy deodorant to "eliminate unwanted odors" aka ball sweat? I think not!

Um, I think that many men SHOULD!

I, however, have never had a funky smell coming from my crotch...
:LOL

But I do agree, both with you, and other posters. NIP is icky and gross and why on earth would you have a baby (of all things!) suck on your boob?? :

I think the guilt is not something they have in the front of their minds, I think it's very much subconcious for many of these women.

My mother and father both refused to let me NIP in their home (where I lived at the time!) because "Nobody wants to see that". I was expected to go into the bathroom, or at the very least into my bedroom (across the house and downstairs from the living room and kitchen, where we spent most our time).....one of the many reasons I failed at nursing...

Also, the fact that NIP moms are few and far between....maybe if we desensitize these women to seeing a little nursing boobie?

Just my thoughts,
Kelly

[Jane]

Honestly, do you think there are ANY men out there who would buy deodorant to "eliminate unwanted odors" aka ball sweat? I think not!

That's what the Right Guard in the spray can is for! Seriously - many of my friends use it every day - one shot under each arm and one in the ol' balls. I'm not saying it's correct, for one, Right Guard tastes terrible, but just that marketing has caught men, too.

[shishkeberry]

for one, Right Guard tastes terrible

[just6fish]

Originally Posted by HeartsOpenWide

:
They probably feel guilty that they did not do the best for their child and chose not to breast feed, or they are just ignorant. :

LOL--I love this because I didn't nurse successfully until baby #4 and before that, I felt funny watching someone nurse (or even being around them nursing). Now, They could nurse naked and it wouldn't phase me! I guess I didn't understand before!

[ShadowMom]

I disagree that jealousy is the predominant reason.

Many of the women I've heard complaining about NIP are women who breastfed their children.

In Kansas, the NIP bill was sent back to committee - a Republican senator who claims she breastfed was the most vocal opponent of it!

I think it's because women are so incredibly critical toward each other. I think momtwice probably hits the closest explanation.

JMHO

[annettemarie]

I still think it's jealousy to some point- maybe because they didn't have the freedom to nip women have today? I do agree it also has to do w/ sexualization of the breast.

[Bleu]

Without reading this thread (yet), I would say two reasons:

1. Guilt/jealousy.
2. Men are often so oblivious they don't realize any breastfeeding is in fact going on.
_______________________________________

ETA: Okay, have now read the thread and I love all your posts. I think the bit about women being social enforcers, especially of other women, is really important.

I also think a lot of women wanted to breastfeed but because of bad advice, failed miserably and seeing a reminder of that loss hurts. Like someone else said, that's not the conscious motivator -- they channel it into snippiness about "modesty."

I do think the bit about women not wanting their SOs to see another woman's breast is a good insight, in some cases.

[birdie22]

When I've heard women talking negatively about NIP, it seems like they unconsciously assume that the nursing is being done for their benefit, as if the woman wants to show off how great a mother she is.

Maybe women who themselves nursed are a little bit jealous that women can nurse without hiding now. Kind of like the stories my grandparents tell about how kids today have it so easy; they had to walk three miles to school in the snow... It's also possible that they got so used to the idea that they had to nurse in private, that NIP seems strange to them.

I agree with pp that some men are clueless. Just last week we were out to dinner with ILs, and FIL asked what I would do if DS got hungry... would I take him out to the car or what? He had no idea that I had already nursed him right there! For the record, I don't think MIL noticed either.

[deliciousjones]

philomom:

I think it must be an esteem issue. The worst looks and comments I got always came from a type of women who look "fat and fashionable".

can you define 'fat and fashionable' please?

~

i agree that it's guilt and.or ignorance.

two days ago, my sister suggested that i nurse rachel in the bathroom because it might make other people uncomfortable. however, her chain smoking in extremely crowded public places is a-ok.