Wondering if there is a place in some kids' lives for TV... - Page 4

[maya44]

Originally Posted by OnTheBrink

I imagine that's what most of us do with TV. If we left it running all day every day without paying attention to what was showing and being watched, that would be like the example you used. But carefully choosing what is viewed, and how much is viewed, is like going to the library.

[maya44]

Originally Posted by LisainCalifornia

Yes! It is an art form in it's own right--that is so true. There have been certain series that I have watched over my lifetime that have been just as worthwhile as many of the wonderful books I have read (and I am a voracious reader!!). There were series I loved as a child (like Leave it to Beaver, Mr. Rogers, the silly but wonderfully comic Gilligan's Island, Little House) that meant a great deal to me, and then as I grew up I started to find shows that I loved too. My husband and I bonded over Twin Peaks and Northern Exposure--and had some great discussions and fun over those series. It even encouraged us to take a road trip to the pacific northwest--which was one of the greatest trips we ever took together (this was before kids!).

Now when we sit down together and watch something like Curb Your Enthusiasm and laugh all the way through it--it really is just a wonderful time. The season ender of that series with Mel Brooks and the main character performing in the broadway production of "The Producers" was incredibly well done. If you think all that is on TV is crap--then you probably have not seen the series that HBO has been putting out. Six Feet Under is better than many movies I have seen--and it allows you to see slow crafting of these complex characters over several years time. Everything about it--the music, the way in which it is directed, the artistic choices of camera angles, the hidden meanings woven within the stories--is what makes this series a pleasure to watch. The fact that you get to watch it at home once a week over a number of years does not detract from it's value--I think it adds value to it. It is an intimate experience that you cannot duplicate in a movie theater on a one time trip--it is the complex layering of the character's psyche that unique to the medium of television.

I don't feel that television "hypnotizes" people--I am certainly not hypnotized when I watch it. On the contrary--I often turn it on when I have other things going on (like watching cooking shows on PBS while baking) or listening to Gilmore Girls with a little glass of wine while I make supper. My kids often go days without watching it--and when they do turn it on they are not hypnotised in anyway. The are some of the most creative little people I have ever met (we started a dinner puppet theater in our cul-de-sac and people come to it every Thursday night) and I am the same way--a typical creative Aquarian who likes to watch some TV.

I realize that too much TV for any kid or any adult creates an imbalance, but it is up to each family to find their own healthy balance. If you find that no television at all is better for your family--then that is wonderful. You have found that balance for you.

Wonderfully Said!

I understand that for some people some things are too addicting.

But for our family its not. Its just a wonderful part of a full cultural life.

[HoneymoonBaby]

Originally Posted by captain optimism

I do remember that when one of my friends who is now seven was about four, her mom started to let her see videos. She stopped all imaginative play in favor of rehearsing the stories of the videos for me. It was scary.

Yeah, I've seen that, too. My main reason for limiting "kid TV" is the marketing associated with it, though. I'm sick of going to "Dora" and "Blues Clues" birthday parties, seeing kids get loaded up with character gifts with the characters all pre-developed for them, etc. I'd rather my kid make up his own characters and stories.

[OnTheBrink]

Originally Posted by HoneymoonBaby

Yeah, I've seen that, too. My main reason for limiting "kid TV" is the marketing associated with it, though. I'm sick of going to "Dora" and "Blues Clues" birthday parties, seeing kids get loaded up with character gifts with the characters all pre-developed for them, etc. I'd rather my kid make up his own characters and stories.

We have never seen My Little Pony on TV (is there such a show?). But my daughter is enthusiastically planning a Pony Party for her 4th birthday coming up. She owns a few MLP toys and plays very imaginatively with them.

I remember having a Little House on the Prairie birthday party because I loved the show. At the party and for years, I spent lots of time creating stories and playing Little House - not necessarily as it was seen on the show.

I think that we do kids a disservice when we think that their imaginations are so easily squashed. Kids love to learn about characters, places, events, and then take their own life experiences and interests and create custom made fun. I love it!

I hate to think that some people make choices just because there is some blanket idea of how things should be done. (I am NOT accusing anyone here of this, but I have IRL friends who are "guilty" of such.) Just as we are shocked when parents do whatever they are told to do by Ferber or Ezzo or Parenting Magazine, it's just as wrong (in my opinion) to blindly agree to the choices that are asssumed best at a place like Mothering. There seems to be a list of the "right" way to do things and we earn some kind of strange points by:
cloth diapering, not vaccinating, not circumcizing, not schooling, not allowing TV, not allowing plastic, eliminating certain foods, using only certain products, etc. If each of these things are your true choice, great. But if you are doing it just to do it and check it off some imaginary list, it's really odd.

TV remains a fun part of our family.

[maya44]

My kids also have NEVER relied on the characters and stories they have seen on TV, even for their "TV realted toys".

My dd's Blues Clues dog, is named Blue but that is the only similiarlity with the character. Blue is you see, the head of the whole family of stuffed dogs she has. Each day when she makes her bed, there is another story involving yet another "dog party" of "dog school"

I have not seen TV stunt their imagination in any way.

And, like me, I have found that TV ads and the early resulting disapoinment (oh the toy inside the cereal is not so fun) have made by kids more discerning and less gulible in general than one of my SIL's kids who are TV free.

[mommyofshmoo]

I had a thought about the pp that said that when his friend started watching tv at 7 her imagination was stunted.

IME older kids often are not as wildly imaginative as younger kids, there is a natural migration towards seeing the world as it is, not so much as our imagination allows. I think a lot of older kids may integrate themes from a variety of sources such as books, plays, tv, real life into their play in a much more direct way. Acting out a TV show is similar to acting out a play, and I could see a 7 year old challenging themselves by wanting to "keep to the story".

Just a thought.

Totally random-
As a not-very-imaginative kid I often felt pressured to be more imaginative than I was. I was very concrete for as long as I can remember. I wanted to learn things at face value rather than making stuff up all the time as people expect children to. Weird. I wonder how common that is.

[nycapmom]

I'm still here This has turned into a very interesting thread for me. Thank you all for giving me a lot to think about.

I am still torn about whether or not to reintroduce TV. The problem for me is that my son doesn't ask to watch but I sometimes really need a break : But just when I think I really need to put a video on so I can get off my feet or tend to the baby, my DS will start doing something like making his body into letter shapes. He did this the other day. Stood straight with his arms out and said he was the letter "T" or put on a puppet show or play or lately he has been trying to read/write. We have had TV for a few months here and there - like at the end of my second pregnancy or right after the baby was born and cried a lot and DS needed to escape from that and I needed to console the baby 24/7. Here I am making excuses.

Anyway, I really appreciate your perspectives. I can see why there should not be guilt involved (unless TV is your child's babysitter or sole educator, I guess) there is a place for TV in many families' lives. Part of my problem is that DH was raised by the TV and has wonderful memories of shows he watched. He still quotes some of them which some may find disturbing but for him it is just reminiscing.

Gotta run. DS is *yelling* for me to play with him!

[wildmonkeys]

An alternative view on the "character stuff" and birthday parties.

My ds is really into characters he has never seen on TV - he seems to be very influenced by what trick-or-treaters have on. For instance, when he was about 3 he LOVED Spiderman because he found the costumes exciting. He had obviously never seen a Spiderman show/movie at three!!! Likewise he wanted to be a Red Power Ranger this year because we visited friends over the summer who had a six year old who had been a Power Ranger the year prior and he got to try on the costume. He has also received a bunch of Rescue Hero toys from my bil (who is a police officer and likes to buy him police toys as well as firemen) He also loves the aquarium and scuba divers so he has a number of scuba diver rescue heroes (which I like because of their clever names - how funny is it that they have a scuba diver figure named "Holden Breath" and a police officer named "Willie Stopem")

My almost 2 year old does not watch any tv but loves Elmo because we have Elmo books and an Elmo CD we listen to in the car.

I have a friend who is pretty tv free (maybe a bit more so than us though my older ds only watches a teeny bit of tv) Anyway, whenever my ds gets out his Rescue Heroes or wears a Spiderman shirt (he got a couple of hand me downs from one of my mother's co-workers) or my younger ds points to an Elmo and and says "Wa Wa" (he calls him Wa Wa because of the song...la la la la. la la la la. Elmos world) My friend throws me a "We don't really watch tv" comment I have to say it is annoying: Probably more so since her dd has Dora shoes and dressed up like Cinderella for Halloween and had a Dora B-day party )

Last year my ds had a Spiderman party but this year he wanted a "scuba/ocean" theme. So when you go to a pre-packaged theme party it doesn't necessarily indicate that the kids are plugged into the tv.

Anyway, I guess my point is that we can get a little too serious and judgemental about these things if we aren't careful.

BJ
Barney & Ben

[wildmonkeys]

one last thought regarding whether or not being tv free, watching tv, parenting, etc. makes kids creative.... All of those factors nuture (or don't nurture) their creativity but isn't whether they are creative a talent which they can take some credit for? I mean, we clearly influence who our kids become but I don't want to overstate my role in their success. I get a bit nervous when we start to think that we control what their talents are by the decisions we make everyday.

My second ds seems to be a "performer" he is always trying to get a laugh from a crowd and making funny faces but my big kid is more of a pen and pencil sort of kid. I want to nurture these inclinations in each of them (as well as encourage them to explore things that don't come as naturally) but I also want to have respect for their God given talents and strengths without taking credit for them, kwim?

BJ
Barney & Ben

[mommyofshmoo]

Originally Posted by wildmonkeys

one last thought regarding whether or not being tv free, watching tv, parenting, etc. makes kids creative.... All of those factors nuture (or don't nurture) their creativity but isn't whether they are creative a talent which they can take some credit for? I mean, we clearly influence who our kids become but I don't want to overstate my role in their success. I get a bit nervous when we start to think that we control what their talents are by the decisions we make everyday.


BJ
Barney & Ben

I think this is an important point.

I sometimes step back and try to avoid "first child syndrome" with my dd. I mean the tendency of parents to over-control, over-schedule and over-influence their first kid. I think most first children are kinda neurotic for it (I know I am.)

My youngest brother is 8 years younger than me and my mom was dealing with a dying sister during most of his childhood, so he experienced what I would call "un-parenting." My parents weren't absent, they just didn't pay so much attention to what he did, or maybe they just didn't get worked up over every aspect of his development. They responded to problems, surely- they just didn't stress over variations on normal.

Anyway- he watched a lot of TV and played a lot of video games. He was smart but didn't stress about school. He did a lot of stuff, but was never "pushed" to do hardly anything.

I remember my college friends used to come over to play video games with my then 11 year old brother. He'd set 2 old tv's on top of eachother so he could watch TV on one screen and play video games on the other. I can still remember my 20 year old friends asking my bro to turn off the TV so they could focus on the game. He would argue that he was "watching that show" as he kicked their butts at the video game.

Granted the ability to watch TV and win a violent video game simultanteously probably has no value in life, but I couldn't help being impressed.

Now that same brother is a 23 year old married stock broker. He is planning to buy a home soon. At 23 I was still partying and drifting from apartment to apartment and job to job trying to figure out who I was. There is some degree of generational influence here- I think kid's today are more conservative. But I do think my little bro knows who he is better than many people at the same age.

I do have a point, promise- My point is that kids manage to grow up just fine regardless of our efforts to navigate the world for them. In fact some kids do just fine with very little navigation.