Do you live up to your own expectations?

[chalupamom]

Not society's, not your partners, not your mother-in-law's, your own?

I've been thinking about this lately. I live up to my own expectations in certain things, not in others. I would like to live up to GoodWillHunter's expectations in home cleanliness, but for now it's something I'll just have to aspire to! I don't live up to my own expectations in terms of fitness or personal appearance and lately that bothers me.

I do live up to my own expectations in terms of intellectual life and in terms of my relationship with my kids.

More to come...just throwing it out there.

[Viola]

No, not in parenting. I'm not happy with the way I do things some days and I yell too much.

I have no expectations about personal appearance, but your post reminds me I need to get on the treadmill today. :LOL

[stayinghome]

Nope. Not in anything- paenting, wife-hood, personal goals or appearance. Just a tad bit "type A" I guess...

[BBerryBliss]

Nope, not in one darn thing!

[milkymama1104]

Mostly yes, I guess....But I need to work out more, yell less, eat better, drink more water, etc.

Oh, well. Changed my mind, looks like mostly no...! :LOL

[mountain]

I can't separate my expectations from everyone else's, that's my biggest problem. I also feel like it's a curse that comes in part from being a woman in general. So much is expected of us, especially since we are "equal"---read doing the job of men AND women.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Yes and no. There are things that I would like to do better but I wouldn’t go so far as to say these are expectations. With my expectations, I normally do *okay* ~ I don’t feel disappointed in myself.

However, I tend to be rather realistic with myself so it’s hard to day what comes first…the expectations or the ability to accomplish something.

[thismama]

I find this kind of a weird question. I don't ask myself if my daughter lives up to my expectations. She just IS. She is unfolding. My job is to facilitate and protect her unfolding. I hope I don't have expectations of her.

Likewise I hope I don't have expectations of myself. And of course as I write that it's not true. I do have expectations of myself. But I really don't want to be coming from that "strict father" place with myself or my kid.

[Unreal]

nope I sure don't...
I try not to let it bug me...
but you know when you can't sleep at night and your brain is just wandering........

yep

a whole lot of Darnit, You should have done ____. Why didn't I do ___. Tomorrow I HAVE to _____...

*sigh*

[MsMoMpls]

Ooooohhh this is a good question. I think my expectations are just a bit past my reach. I want a cleaner house, better meals, less debt, more patience, a better sex life, more time to read. Hey- I want 26 hour days.

But I think that this is a good thing. It keeps me growing, pushing, reaching. The magic is not having insane expectations and accepting that were are mere mortals. You have to learn how to fail often and fail well without giving up.

I tell a lot of my clients that they are all a bunch of malcontents. People who want more from their lives often need help. There are a lot of people who don't struggle. I call these people Walmart Greeters. Walmart Greeters enjoy a simple life and are content to have their days full of the simple pleasure of making the world just a bit easier for others. I suppose these people would also be called Buddest Monks. They never need therapy. But, for now- I am no Buddest Monk and I am no Walmart Greeter. I struggle and most days, kind of enjoy the struggle.

[Bethla]

I think I'm working towards them. I'm trying to be the best "me" I can be. I still have my days of feeling sorry for myself and listening to those other negative voices around me.

Here are some of them:
-to be a loving and decent human being, to analyze my actions to see how they affect others.
-to try my hardest at giving my children a good life, by being a good mom and all those other things that fall in between
-to practice what I preach
-to get an education so that I can have a career that I feel good about

[thistle]

Not even close- and I have immaculate closets and clean my baseboards with Q-Tips. Yes, I am completely anal and borderline OCD (think Bree on Desperate Housewives but without the fabulous wardrobe). My standard for "clean" means House Beautiful can come take pictures, anything less is slacking. But hey, thanks to me GWH knows how to fold a fitted sheet and make her towels look pretty in the closet.

I'm working on getting my body back to a reasonable standard.

I defintely have "issues".

[tinybutterfly]

No, I don't live up to my expectations for myself...and I DO try to be gentle with myself. I get up each day, do the best I can , apologize for the mistakes I make, and go to bed each night. Get up the next day and do the same. I figure life is a journey and I have lots to learn.

[mamadawg]

I try not to have any expectations about myself. I have goals and motivations, but I see that as being different than having expectations. Expectations, to me, mean you must abide by them or else it's somehow bad. I try not to play that game with myself, and I certainly don't want to do that to my daughters.

There are several things I'm working on changing, but I figure one day I'll get to where I want to be. In the meantime, I think I'm a pretty cool chick and a pretty cool mama.

[stayinghome]

"how to fold a fitted sheet"

You can actually fold one of those things??????????? Wow. That belongs on that super power thread!

[artemesia]

I couldn't possibly live up to my expectations of myself, because if I don't do everything perfectly then I am a big fat loser. If I lower my standards then I would still be a loser, even if I could then live up to my expectations because I would then be striving for mediocrity which is unnacceptable to me. I think I really could use some therapy.

[meco]

I could care less about society or my parents. I do not have the time.

I try to live up to my own, but I do not place impossible, looming expectations on myself. I think usually do a good job. I make mistakes and have my moments, but I know I am human and things are not always perfect. Right now I do meet a lot of my parenting expectations (really more goals and desires). But not all.

I would like to be a better housecleaner and cook but those things are not synonymous with my parenting. So I just not worry about it all that much. I am not a bad person because my house is not spotless. I figure playing and parenting is better than have a perfectly clean house (plus small apartment+2 year old does not make for utter cleanliness).

Originally Posted by thismama

I don't ask myself if my daughter lives up to my expectations. She just IS. She is unfolding. My job is to facilitate and protect her unfolding. I hope I don't have expectations of her.

[meco]

Originally Posted by HeatherE

"how to fold a fitted sheet"

You can actually fold one of those things??????????? Wow. That belongs on that super power thread!

Heather, once I learned how, it was so easy. It blew my mind until someone showed me. Now it is a piece of cake I could post some directions :LOL

[lauraess]

NO. But, I have been known to practically die trying.
~L

[griffin2004]

Originally Posted by tinybutterfly

No, I don't live up to my expectations for myself...and I DO try to be gentle with myself. I get up each day, do the best I can , apologize for the mistakes I make, and go to bed each night. Get up the next day and do the same. I figure life is a journey and I have lots to learn.

Amen, sistah! So well stated!!