What's the process like???

[Ell-Bell]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but it's pretty general, pregnancy-related. I just need some advice.

My DH and I will start TTC this month. I want a homebirth, he'll take some convincing! I guess what I'm wondering is what we do while researching our options and talking to midwives, birthing centers, and hospitals. My cousin has had 2 homebirths and said that the right midwife will totally put his mind at ease, which I can understand. But what do you do in the meantime? If I was to become pregnant do I go to a mainstream doctor for bloodtests? Do you still see a doctor while seeing a midwife, just incase you do have to go into the hospital, so you know the doctor? I feel like I don't even know where to start. My DH is shocked that I wouldn't go to a doctor at all... but I haven't found a doctor here that I like.

I also feel like I should go in for my annual exam sometime soon, but I don't have a doctor in the area. I HATED the only doctor I've tried since moving back to California. The care was so...impersonal- that I left in tears just wishing I was back in Seattle. I lived in Seattle for 8 years where my primary care physician was a naturopath, and there was only a $15 copay for massage, chiropractic care, and accupuncture. It was fabulous. If I was still in Seattle I'd have someone to go to for support, a "Starting Place". Here in California they recently passeda law recognizing Naturopathic doctors, and my insurance company will cover 70%. I found one not too far away who will do OB exams, etc. but I'm wondering if it's worth going to her when she's not affiliated with a hospital, should I need to go. Wouldn't it be better if I found a doctor to go to once in awhile so that if I did end up needing a hospital, I would know them? But I have no idea where to start finding a doctor who is affiliated with a hospital that I would even like.

Then I read about midwives with hospital privelages and thing, "That's what I need!" but I just don't even know where to start. I tried to call one midwife in the area just to get an idea of the process, and she laughed that I was even calling her before concieving.

I guess mostly I want to pacify DH until we find that magnificent midwife that will convince him that a homebirth is the way to go! But what to do in the meantime??? Sorry that this post is all over the place... I am just not sure where I should start.

Whew! Any suggestions would be great.

~Ellie

[stafl]

Ellie,
just read all you can about the different options available to you. I like www.gentlebirth.org and www.midwiferytoday.com for basic information about birth and pregnancy care options. Talk with some midwives and other care providers, but bear in mind that the answers you get at an interview might not be anything more than what they think you want to hear rather than a good indicator of what you can expect from that practice when it really comes down to it. Figure out what your options are, and go with the one that you feel most comfortable with. Trust your gut feelings and if you don't feel comfortable with any doctor or midwife for any reason, or no reason at all, go find someone else instead. There are no right answers to your questions, what I needed from my care providers is not likely to be even remotely close to what you need from yours.

[MomInCalifornia]

I see you are in Northern CA. I am too, and I have a wonderful homebirth CNM that I see. She does well woman care (Paps, yearly exams etc) as well as births at both home and a birth center. If you are in the Bay Area. let me know, and I will pm you her name and info.

I started talking to her prior to becoming pregnant, and saw her as soon as I got a positive home test.

My husband was also a bit skeptical, but after meeting her and having his questions answered he was very at ease. After the birth, he says it is the best decision we could have made.

[calebsmama03]

Honestly, I'd just go for the MW to start and not worry about a doc - I SO wish I'd done that!! It is rare to find a doc who is willing to be your "backup" if s/he knows you're planning a home (or sometimes even birthcenter ) birth FWIW, I had a hospital birth with a CNM (loved her but VERY medically oriented/influenced), I had Preterm labor at 23 weeks and was required to see one of the doc in her practice until I was "out of the danger zone". This doc was also the same doc I'd seen for several years for well woman care before I knew about midwifery. With this one I started out seeing the doc since the CNM left the practice and I was toying with the idea of homebirth. Saw the doc the first half of my pg (had another bout of PTL early on this time) so she is VERY familiar with me and, I thought, had a great relationship with me. When I transferred to my HBMW she called and asked if there had been a problem that caused me to transfer, I told her no but that she knew from day 1 I wanted a MW and I'd finaly found one, she has since dropped me. IF you need an OB for some reason, your MW should be able to point you towards someone at that time. Otherwise I wouldn't waste your time with it since there's no guarantee no matter how well they know you that they'd be willing to serve as MW backup. Also, FWIW, you MIGHT be able to get ins to cover a homebirth (with some work and persuasion) and NOT having seen an OB seems to help at least in my case. I have an HMO and of course there are no in network HBMW's. My argument to them is/will be that they should cover the care because 1. it saves them money over hosp birth and 2. there is no provider available in network for these services. Not having a record with a doc (just changed ins companies) should help my case a bit!

[Ell-Bell]

Thanks for your replies! I guess I wasn't sure if I should be going to BOTH an MD and a midwife throughout the pregnancy. It sounds like that's not neccessary. I may go once at the beginning, to put DH's mind at ease. I have a feeling that once we meet the right midwife it will all fall into place.

AbigailsMomSarah, I wish I was in the Bay Area! I have a feeling it would be easier there. I'm in the Sacramento area, in Rocklin. If your CNM knows anyone over here, I'd love another referral!

Thanks again for responding... so much information can be overwhelming sometimes!

:-) Ellie

[mightymoo]

Originally Posted by Ell-Bell

If I was to become pregnant do I go to a mainstream doctor for bloodtests?

I just wanted to mention that they very rarely do the blood test to confirm pregnancy anymore, since the OTC tests are so accurate. There also isn't a heck of a lot a doctor or midwife does in the early visits (although doctors and some more medicalized midwives seem to love invasive vaginal exams to check for VDs I know I don't have!) so I wouldn't worry about having a doctor for that - it doesn't hurt to start looking for a midwife before you get pregnant of course, but you'll be just fine too if you start looking after you get a positive pregnancy test. I'd say as long as you get in by around 12 weeks pregnant - but there are some who could even argue that's not really necessary.

Before you've found a care provider, if you really aren't feeling well, you can just go to the ER.