Is escapism through reading bad? - Page 2

[gethane]

I come from a family of readers (going back to my great grandmothers at least) and my children are readers too. My mother took me and my kids on a mini vacation a few weeks ago and day 2 of our trip was a visit to a big bookstore. We all enjoyed

I can see how reading can be escapism, but if she's depressed, trying to stop her reading isn't going to help that. She'd need therapy (part of which might be reading).

[twopeasinpod]

We are a very minimal TV house, so reading is BIG around here...when I first saw this I was thinking, oh my! I shall have to respond as I occasionally read to escape! lol

Our 9 (10 in april) yr old son is so so heavy into his literature...it is difficult to get him to eat or respond sometimes....But it is the exact same place I was, I just loved being in those imaginary worlds at that age.
We have attempted to avoid some material, kids pulp fiction, as it seemed to disturb him a little, seems like he was addicted. Most of what he is reading is teen sci-fi, and repeatedly absorbing the Harry Potters until the new one comes out...at least at the moment

We asked him if he wanted to play outside last weekend and the little punk took a pile of books and sat in the grass, soaking up the sun.
Of course, as soon as kids were home from school he was off like a shot on his bike.

Depends on the kid, but I would never discourage reading in any way. It can be such a great way to spend late childhood,
Of course, I got a comment from a "mainstream" parent recently, claiming we were 'stunting him and he loved books because he had no friends or sports activities'...EEERRRRRGGGHHH. :

Anyhoo, enough chatter from me....

Maya

[journeymom]

The mother I mentioned above, is her step-mom, her original mother died when she was 4. Her father remarried when she was 6 and she now has an little brother who is almost 3 and there will be a new baby in the family in July. I'm pretty sure she was read to every day of her life until her dad remarried.

That is one of the saddest things I've heard today. I hope this little girl gets some support.

We're currently trying to limit 10 y.o. dd's reading "habit". Her math grades dipped this last semester and I asked her teacher if she knew what happened. She said dd has been reading during math instruction time. Reading time is right before math and apparently dd just doesn't put her book down and pay attention when the teacher goes over the day's math lesson...

[loveharps]

May be you should help your friend put things into perspective, would she rather her step daughter read books as a form of escapism, or hang out with a bad crowd, do drugs to escape etc.

I also read alot when I was young (still do) and it has done me no harm, I got made fun of, my friends and family aren't readers like me.

I think she should be encouraged as much as possible, as long as she's not neglecting school work, or any house chores etc, let her read!

[Zipporah]

I too was an avid reader as a child and teen and i do think it was a form of escapism from a strained family situation. In many ways i think it helped me stay sane. I do not think one can read too much, only in an unhealthy way... i would encourage the girl to read outdoors in the sun and fresh air, that's all. When i was depressed i would read holed up in my room all the time. I think it's an instinctive behavior for that kind of state. But going against that and being out in the sun and fresh air can help mitigate depressive tendencies or the "blues" a bit. If i were the parents in this case i would also try to engage the little girl in discussion of what she's reading, to make it a less "antisocial" experience for the family. (Obviously not interrupting her *while* she's reading but asking about it afterwards.)

Hey, loveharps! Kia ora! I'm a kiwi living in the U.S. -- i love it when i see other kiwis on MDC!

[catnip]

Originally Posted by loveharps

May be you should help your friend put things into perspective, would she rather her step daughter read books as a form of escapism, or hang out with a bad crowd, do drugs to escape etc.

I had a classmate who had a drinking problem at age 11. This was in a 2 parent household in an affluent neighborhood. There are worse things!

[Wabi Sabi]

I had a pretty unhappy childhood and reading was my escape.

I read to the point where one could argue that it was detrimental, especially in relation to school. I didn't do any homework; instead I read for hours. I didn't participate in class because I was too busy reading. I can remember teachers confiscating my books for reading during history or math!

It became such an issue that I was no longer allowed to check books out from the school library nor was I able to have any book other than a textbook in my possession during school hours. Because I refused to do my homework at home I had to spend my recess time in detention for months on end. I resorted to stealing books from the library, from friends, from my church, and even from other kids' desk during recess!

I pretty much received straight Ds and Fs throughout all of 4th and 5th grades. I would have been held back each year if it weren't for the fact that I scored fairly high on those silly standardized tests each year.

I also literally had zero friends during those years. My total withdrawl into books probably didn't help matters any.

I was the only kid I ever knew who got into trouble both at home and at school for reading too much.

In retrospect, I have to agree with the previous poster. My family life was rotten and many kids in my situation would have turned to drinking, sex, hanging out with the wrong crowd and the like. My younger brother and sister did take this path and although my sister has turned her life around, my brother still struggles with addictions, becoming a father while still in high school, and constant run-ins with the law.

[Raynbow]

Well, since the majority of American preteens and teens practice EXTREME escapism through TV and video games, I'd worship the ground a bookworm preteen walked on.

Of course, I'm biased, because I'm an avid reader and routinely practice escapism via a good book.

[Autumnschild]

As a person who escaped into books during my troubled childhood and teenage years, I just want to say that there are a lot of less healthy ways to escape. Exploring books was probably the healthiest way for me to escape and now, in my 30's, I have to say I have suffered no ill effects from it.

[mommykof5]

Unless her grades are slipping I'd say LET HER READ! I was and still am a very avid reader. I read everything and my mother never put limits on it. She said that if I was old enough to pick it up and read it I could. So in 5th grade she was VERY upset that I got a D in reading. She fought with my teacher and won. See our teacher gave us a list of books to read at the beginning of the year. I went to her and said I already read these a long time ago. She only said OK. So I read other things and did my book reports on them. Only they were John Saul, Stephen King, V.C. Andrews, and the like.
The D was because I did not do the book reports on the appropriate books.(Judy Bloom, The Boxcar Children) As a Child if I got into trouble my books were taken away. I was not allowed to read. This was vey bad punishment for me.

Unless there is signs of severe depression and/or her grades are slipping tell her mother to let her read. Is it a form of excapeism, yea. But I would rather my child get lost in Hucklebrry Finn or Where The Red Fern Grows than glued to the TV as is so normal or drinking, drugging, and having sex as a way to "get away". And yes there are little babies out there having sex. I recently was counsling a mother who found out her 9 yo was active. (As for those that read my post one the sex topic let me say 9 is WAY too young no matter what)

[UUMom]

Why is reading considered 'escapism'. Can't it fall under "pleasure"?

Escapism is so negative-- and inaccurate.

[sparkprincess]

Another avid reader here.

I also read alot as a child/teen to escape my familly situation. I agree with previous posters that it's much better than other alternatives.

I agree too that as long as she's not depressed, there shouldn't be any worries.

It's sad that her parents can support her. Mine never did either. They always called me 'hermit' and 'antisocial'... ummm, thanks.

[OTMomma]

I wish I could put it in perspective for this mom how lucky she is that her child is reading instead of turning to all the bad choices she could make. Unfortunately she is amazingly narrow minded and doesn't realize how lucky she is. But I keep trying.

Oh, I used the word escapism- a negative word, intentionally, because her family feels it is a negative act, not because I think reading is negative. But I wanted to be sure the feeling of my post was clear.

Thanks to all of you for responding. As an out of school for summer gift I plan to send her a few books I enjoyed as a child, and a diary to encourage her to express some of her feelings.