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HELP! Had surprise twins last week - how to ap everyone?

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
We homebirthed (vbac!) 2 full term twins, which we thought was one large babe, on the 17th.

How do I attachment parent the both of them AND my 3 year old. Need tips, suggestions anything. Nursing's going well but I feel like that's all I do.

I have lots of help right now but next week I will be on my own and am pretty nervous about that.

Thanks mamas,
post #2 of 26
YOU GO MAMA! Congrats on your double bundle!

As for Aping, I would suggest while your nursing to pick up a few good books on attachment parenting, such as "The Discipline Book" by William and Martha Sears. They also have a book about attachment parenting twins, though I can't recall the title. Another good one is also by Sears called "The Successful Child".

Aside from reading..don't try to be the supermom and do it alone. Your Dh can help a lot by taking time with your three year old, and one of the twins while you spend quality time with each child one on one. Take time for yourself. When your babes rest, you rest, read, do something you enjoy...

Yes, easier said than done, I know
post #3 of 26

I don't have twins but my advice would be to not worry about keeping the house clean or doing laundry or cooking dinner for a while. Try to just focus on keeping you, your toddler, and those babies satisfied while you're home alone.

Luckily little babies sleep alot and you'll have a bit of time to adjust before they need your undivided attention all the time.

Do you have slings? Do you have a community that you could turn to for volunteers?
post #4 of 26
Oh my goodness!!! I can't even imagine 2 popping out when you thought it was 1! No time for mental preparation for you! Way to go on vbac and home birth! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Sorry I'm not much help on advice for ap'ing them. I'm still trying to figure it all out! :LOL Alot of patience is key! I'm sure you do nothing but nurse right now...and that's all you should be doing! It's ok to let the rest go for awhile.

For me one of the hardest things was splitting mommy time between the new babies and my older child (he was almost 18 mos when my girls were born). You have this same dilemma with your 3 yr old. I did alot of time on the floor with a big family blanket spread out that I laid the babies on and my ds played on and had snacks etc. That way I could sit there with him with the babies nursing (used a boppy pillow under them). Also ds was used to lots of cuddling and now with 2 new babies in my arms his cuddle time was cut short. I then did lots of hand holding with him (he could still get his hand in mine even if I was holding both babies), and him sitting next to me while I nursed the babies, or laying his head in my lap, or laying his legs under or over mine. We found someway to have contact when my arms were occupied. I'd also have special time where he got to be in the sling while the girls were sleeping (although they very rarely slept unless in my arms).

Hope some of that helps. Hang in there mama!!
post #5 of 26
Oh forgot to mention how STARVING you'll be nursing 2! Have dh or someone go to store for lots of EASY healthy things to eat that can be eaten with one hand too. Things that you can just grab. If you have to 'fix' something you may go all day without eating and you need that fuel!!
post #6 of 26
post #7 of 26
Wow! That is so cool! I secretly hoped for surprise twins with my last one. : :LOL

I know my sling maker taught mamas how to sling their twins at the same time. I also know of a really cool mama here who slings and CLWs her twins. I will PM her and point her to this thread.

Congratulations mama!

I just wanted to add:

Way to go on the twin HBAC!!! You deserve an award!

Just thought of another mama to PM.
post #8 of 26


Congratulations Mama!

Get all the help you can - never say no to anyone who wants to help! Luckily we lived in cohousing when the twins were born, so food and laundry help were plentiful!

And if anyone wants to give you a gift, get a DOULA. We would not have survived with me stuck on that nuring pillow without a doula's emotional and spiritual supprort....my doulas are my angels, and I love them all.

O loved my camelbak while on the pillow, lots of liquid, and had a snack box next to the bed/recliner where I traveled back and forth while carrying the pillow. Do you need a pillow?? I have an extra I could send you.

Wishing you rest, plentiful milk, love and a happy babymoon,

Maya & Clan
post #9 of 26
:LOL Maya, I was just about to PM you.
post #10 of 26
I am just in awe of your story - you must be supermama - but please do not do it alone next week...do you need help finding a doula/postpartum support?

I have some books I could send you too, and I realized some cd'ing stuff to loan out as well - email me when you have a moment - realdiapers@gmail .com

wow....just amazed the more I think about it

post #11 of 26
Originally Posted by Wildcrafter
We homebirthed (vbac!) 2 full term twins, which we thought was one large babe, on the 17th.


Congratulations mama and way to go.


How do I attachment parent the both of them AND my 3 year old. Need tips, suggestions anything. Nursing's going well but I feel like that's all I do.

I have lots of help right now but next week I will be on my own and am pretty nervous about that.

Thanks mamas,

Well, I've been there. And right now while you have lots of help? REST. REST. REST.

Ask your 'lots of help' to make & freeze meals...as many meals as they are willing and your budget will allow for groceries. THIS WILL HELP YOU TREMENDOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ask them to help you get your house in shape for next week. BUt YOU NEED TO REST, really.

I don't think I got online for the first three months. I don't remember. I remember nursing the twins, playing with the 4 yo and trying to keep the 18 mo from going nuts. BUt I had no help and meals were pathetic. SO if your help can hook you up with meals, lots of them, in your freezer than that would be so helpful and so awesome.

My advice is to just nurse the babies and rest with the 3 yo at home. Read stories, colour in bed while you nurse or rest, watch TV (we were a no tv family until the twins came), read more stories, eat, and rest some more.

And trust your gut. DO what you can and give yourself the freedom to not do what you can't. ALl your children really want from you is your heart anyway, kwim?

: that your family and freiends make and freeze meals for you.


Woo hoo. I am soooooooooooooooo excited for you.

Tell us more details when you are up for it.
post #12 of 26

What a crazy & beautiful story you'll have to share with your babies.

The biggest thing in the beginning is just to survive. Having twin newborns is really, really, REALLY hard. Just take one minute at a time. I know you said your help is going away, but if you can find someone to help you for a few hours so you can spend some time with your 3 year old, that would be ideal.

And nursing is pretty much all you'll be doing for quite some time. I didn't see that anybody mentioned Karen Gromada's book "Mothering Multiples" (published by LLL) here. Maybe I missed it, but it's an essential book for having twin babies.

I didn't have another child when I had my twins, so I'm not much help with advice on how to give him the attention he needs, but you'll find that your dh will have to be very involved in the parenting tasks in the house. My dp worked full-time and then came home to a full-time job taking care of babies, laundry, housework, letting me nap for a few hours, etc.

Also, there's a yahoo group called apmultiples that you might want to check out. There are some really wonderful people on that list who have lots of experience & tips to share. The archive alone is a wonderful resource. The link is: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apmultiples

Good luck. Hang in there. And enjoy this time, it really is magical.
post #13 of 26
How VERY exciting!!! I found out at 9-weeks that I was carrying twins and was shocked then...I can't even imagine what it must have been like to not find out until baby #2 was on the way out!! So cool!!!!!

I second the recommendation on buying the book "Mothering Multiples". You can buy it at the La Leche League site. www.lalecheleague.org. I also recommend you contact your local LLL leader if you aren't already in touch with her. She'd be an invaluable support to you...for free!! Here is a ton of great links from Kellymom.com on breastfeeding and AP'ing twins:

post #14 of 26
Congrats! Your routine - nurse all the time - sounds like my life for the first six months. You've gotten great ideas and book recommendations so I'll just second, third, and fourth what's been said.

You will nurse constantly around the clock for a long time to come. Find a way to do that comfortably. I kept myself literally surrounded by water bottles for the incredible thirst I felt all the time. I had people bring me food.

Find ways to rethink your being alone from next week. This is huge! You will need help. I still have family member help EVERY DAY and my twins (no other children!!!) are 18 months! Make job #2 (after the job #1 of nursing) be to find ways to gather your support team.

Don't even think about cooking, cleaning, or doing laundry, darlin! Nurse nurse nurse! If you want to nurse hands-free to have hands available for your other little one, consider getting a twin nursing pillow. I used my EZ2 Nurse for a year, believe it or not. It's available at www.doubleblessings.com.

You are truly doubly blessed! Don't worry that nothing gets done except nursing and the care of your older one. That's an enormous job and you're probably reading these replies with blurry vision from exhaustion so you know what I mean! You're doing to do great, it will get better - but get help!!!
post #15 of 26
post #16 of 26
I have no BTDT advice, I just wanted to say WOW and congratulations to you. You're amazing!

And please ask for help. Even having someone to hold the babes while you go to the bathroom would be valued in the beginning.
post #17 of 26
Wow, what an incredible surprise!!! Congratulations on a smooth home birth and on your miracle double blessing! You are amazing.

We had church friends sign up to bring meals every other day for about 3 months, and boy was it ever a sad day that last day!! =O) And when people asked how they could help, I usually asked them to help clean the kitchen or do laundry. I could never believe how quickly laundry piled up... OH, and naps! You'll need to be militant about getting your naps.

I don't know if I'll be frowned upon by the super AP, but I did not want to get sick because I wasn't resting enough... So I would nurse one baby to sleep in bed (while I snoozed and rested), while the other was content in the swing or bouncy seat or car seat. I had one baby with torticollis, I found out later, which was making tandem nursing nearly impossible because she couldn't latch on right and stay on. If you can tandem them, you might be blessed to be able to nurse them lying down (propped up with pillows) and not have to leave one "alone" in the swing, etc.

My other suggestion is to pack those babies up in the sling, stroller, or car, and get out for your mental health. This is the easy age for carrying them to restaurants, the park, church, etc.

My son was nearly 6 when the twins were born, so I don't have pertinent advice there. We bought him a Nintendo Game Cube just before the babies came home and he spent an exhorbitant amount of time on there the first month. But man, has he been helpful!!! He loves the babies and helping Mommy. I hope your older child is as helpful for you.

Congratulations again!
post #18 of 26
How ya' doing?

Don't stress if it takes you a while to reply. :
post #19 of 26
Thread Starter 
I am hanging in there! Thanks to all you wonderful mamas for all the kind words of encouragement and helpful advice. It is very comforting to hear from others who have btdt (and those who haven't too!).

It's been 3 weeks now and yes I KNOW I SHOULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW!!! But my 3yo son is at my parents for the day and twins are sleeping. Today I went for a walk with the twins, one in the sling and one in a stroller - it was wonderful. Tomorrow we shop for double stroller and a few other items.

I can sling 2 nursing babies at once!!! I AM WOMAN!

Still have help everyday, though not around the clock. And that will continue into the 4th week, at least. Playdates at our house for my 3 yo have been essential - getting him outside having lots of fun has done wonders for him and for me - just seeing him happy.

So far the hardest thing has been watching 3yo adjust - sometimes it's so sad. This am he said, "But who is going to hold me?" Breaks my heart but I know he will be ok.. Got a chance to snuggle with him yesterday during his/our naptime and that was bliss for both of us.

Thanks again, mamas, gotta go.

post #20 of 26
Thread Starter 

I am now equipped with the "double blessings" nursing pillow, about 15 twin books (all donated - including a copy of the LLL book), 4 slings, a fridge and freezer full of food and dinners and most importantly, a bumper sticker that says, "Walk on the wild side, have twins". Family and friends have been great support.

Maya - what's a camelback?

So the question is - did you all have your infant twins sleeping at the same time for the most part and how long did it take to develop a schedule of naps (somewhat, anyway). Am I just wishful thinking? Did they sleep together or not, with you or not. Right now mine nap in bassinet and cradle but are in bed with me at night.


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